Playing is always frustrating

[davy4575]

+1 on online colaborating. Get a daw if you dont have one and start recording, there are alot of people on forums who will swap files and its really beneficial to compose and record. Also, take up drums. I frequently switch to drums or piano when I get stuck in a rut. Makes ya think differently

 

[hrodbert696]

Thanks all for the excellent responses. I will take a break. As for playing with other people, I have given it a shot before but my social anxiety makes it more unpleasant than its worth - and I'm not really sure how to get past that

The problem there is not the playing, it's the social anxiety. Are you doing anything to treat it? My daughter has had it to the point that she would freak out if someone touched her shoulder, even family. Now she's out and about in the public, working as a cashier with no issues at all. Combination of some therapy, some meds, and just plain getting out there and doing it and getting used to it. Everybody's an individual and different things work for different people, of course, but I wouldn't exclude the option that you could eventually get comfortable in a band setting.

 

[Lobster11]

Do you have any friends, family members, or other acquaintances who play an instrument? The ideal first step would be to get together with someone else to play -- even if just goofing around -- and obviously this would be less anxiety-provoking if it is someone you already feel comfortable around.

 

[Ewo]

Thanks all for the excellent responses. I will take a break. As for playing with other people, I have given it a shot before but my social anxiety makes it more unpleasant than its worth - and I'm not really sure how to get past that

Playing with other people for the first time can be an anxiety-inducing situation, yeah...but I'd think it's surely the way to break out of your boredom.

Perhaps it will help simply to recognize that it presents you with a challenge, but the potential reward for facing the challenge is large.

And look for people to jam with (lower stress than joining a serious band project) whose musical skills are about the same level as you. I'd think that's an environment in which you'll be able to relax and enjoy playing.

 

[Ladyland]

That is exactly my problem. I feel I need to be practicing all the time. I can't watch a movie, go out or meet my friends because I always feel guilty for wasting that precious time. Playing became more like a job. I know I need some changes in my life or some new experiences otherwise this routine will kill me. Everyday I try to learn something new on my bass. New song, catchy bass line or some sight-reading keeps me going. I have a close friend who plays guitar and tried to 'jam' with him but I was so disappointed in my abilities that now I have a big fear of going out and playing with other. So, I'm kind of struggled...

 

[TitaniumRx]

Don't practice for as long, give yourself a tight time-limit for each practice session with goals to achieve for that practice session...

Or take a break until you can't stand NoT playing and simply have to play.
"I feel like I need to be playing constantly or I won't be improving " ... that right there might be taking the fun out, if you feel obligated to practice.
It's "play"ing, not "work"ing, afterall.

Maybe you're burnt out and need a break!

This!!!

 

[delta7fred]

.... I have a close friend who plays guitar and tried to 'jam' with him but I was so disappointed in my abilities that now I have a big fear of going out and playing with other. So, I'm kind of struggled...

Don't beat yourself up over this, playing bass (or any instrument) at an amateur level is supposed to be fun, not a constant battle with your conscience.

If he is a real friend he will put up with your limited abilities, in fact he may not even see them as such. The best players are (IMO) their own biggest critics and what to you may appear as gaping holes in your technique or abilities he may not even notice. So you have the makings of a great player as long as you can get over that hurdle in your mind.

Believe me this is true. The guitarist in our band has a habit of springing surprises on us for songs he would like to try. Some of them I have played before years ago or am reasonably familiar with and can drag the basics from the back of my mind within a verse or two but others I really struggle with. I cringe when I hear some of my efforts on the rehearsal recording. The guitarist and drummer are usually too busy with their own playing to notice and too polite to say anything if they did.

 

[gregmon79]

IMO it sounds like you have are putting expectations on your playing. Either that or you just arent challenging yourself and are getting bored. I cant say that I get frustrated, but I can say that I get a bit bored. Thats when I either have to try something new or ramp up my playing with some different styles or lessons. You dont want to force anything.

 

[hrodbert696]

That is exactly my problem. I feel I need to be practicing all the time. I can't watch a movie, go out or meet my friends because I always feel guilty for wasting that precious time. Playing became more like a job. I know I need some changes in my life or some new experiences otherwise this routine will kill me. Everyday I try to learn something new on my bass. New song, catchy bass line or some sight-reading keeps me going. I have a close friend who plays guitar and tried to 'jam' with him but I was so disappointed in my abilities that now I have a big fear of going out and playing with other. So, I'm kind of struggled...

The only way to get better at jamming with people is to jam with people. Just keep it friendly and relaxed with no heavy expectations on each other. Screw-ups are normal and expected.

One of my bands played a party about a week ago. One of the songs we do is "Superfreak," and it's one of our best tunes, we nail it and crowds love it. Well, at this party, our singer TOTALLY trainwrecked it. She forgot the second verse and went right back into the chorus again. The guitarist kept playing the verse, I followed her into the chorus, and I have no idea what the drummer did, he was lost. So she was hanging with the party crowd after we had all packed up, and someone says to her, "I loved when you guys played Superfreak!" Singer asks, "You mean the one we totally *****d up?" The other person just stared blankly at her and said, "What do you mean?"

 

[fishdreams]

I can relate (to a point, of course, I can only speak for myself) to social anxiety. Another thing that got me back on track was to find (and still finding) my own voice on the bass

One thing that saved me was composing, a perfect occupation in the case of social akwardness, and if you have a knack for it: there are a lot more competent musicians out there than people who can write a good tune or piece, and you'd be surprised how happy many serious musicians (among them, in my case, bass players WAY beyond my own capacities) are to play and perform something fresh that is any good. It has given me great rewards; to stand at the sideline and witness my music performed by good musicians for an enthralled audience has been a life-enhancing experience for me.

Another approach that gave me a whole new, inspiring perspective was the concept of playing solo. Whether you are going to do that in public is another thing, but to think of playing bass as 'total music' (develop an idea in something with a beginning, a development, a conclusion), being free to cover any frequency range and throwing all that BS about what "a bass is supposed to do" out of the wondiw, was quite liberating. All at once the question is: how do I play a piece of music, and you happen to hold a bass. This delightfully simple idea inspires me by no end. It also helps me to find,acknowledge and accept my own voice on the bass. And that is something else that brings me great personal rewards.

Good luck.

 

[Reservoir Dog]

I've been playing a long time ,played my first gig in the 7th grade , I'm 53 now and still enjoy it . I am in kinda a rut as I have not improved my technic in a while but I still improve in other areas . The best thing I ever did for my bass playing was picking up the guitar when I was in my 30's. Learning the chords and some good blues riffs really helped me out of a rut . I also get a lot of calls to fill in for sick bass players because as long as I can see the guitarist chords I can play songs I dont know . Also find a band or people to jam with , you can only do so much by yourself and you can pick up bad habits with your playing and timing that are hard to break. Try to always play with people that are better than you , you'll never improve if your the best player in the band . Just my 2 cents.

 

[jazznrick]

Playing with others is ESSENTIAL to becoming a competent-great bassist.

ACCEPT THE FOLLOWING:
STEP 1
1.You will make a fool of yourself.
I sang "Should I Stay or Should I Go" in my band when i was 14 at a neighborhood festival. It was awful. People laughed. It dogged me through high school. I would do it again (gulp) for what it made me become.
2. Nobody in the whole world thinks about you or your bass playing as much as you do.
3. You're going to make mistakes. Again. Again. And again.
4. You'll feel inferior in playing abilities to someone you play with.

STEP 2
1. Now when you go home after practice or jamming with someone, you can work on the specific mistakes you made that day.
2. Competition breeds excellence. Is that guy really better than you? Can this never change? Opportunity to prove yourself wrong.
3. Playing with different people allows you to decide (actively or passively) what kind of bassist you want to be. Background? Trio? 2 Guitars one bass? Groove specialist? Prog Prophet? Your choice.

STEP 3 (the good part)
1. After playing with people for a while(hopefully playing with the same person or group for at least a few months), someone you know well will refer to you as "really good at bass". You'll be shocked and think it's just a complement at first, then after another time of hearing it you'll realize you've actually excelled.
a) You might also experience the awesome, awesome feeling of while noodling around on a bass or two at a guitar store, one of the good employees strikes up a conversation with you and starts putting the "private reserve" basses in your hands(Ya know, that $4,800 Custom Shop you've always wanted to try). He sees you're good and qualify to touch "the top shelf".
2. Your new version of "mistake" or "screwed up big time" will be 1/1000 of your previous definition.
3. You'll have confidence through competence and experience. It's music. It's art. You'll challenge yourself in ways you never thought you would and achieve more than you ever dreamed.
4. While playing a show and looking at the crowd with a grin on your face you tell yourself "I can't believe I was afraid of this".

 

[radioface]

Go to jam sessions and apply what you have learned.

 

[Polfuste]

For days with too much anxiety, you can jam with others on website like "ninjam" without leave your home. Just plug your bass in a soundcard, register and jump in a virtual room, jam with people already in the room. That can be a lot of fun, and you just have a writting chat window to communicate with others.. As people are from the entire world, there's always some dudes to play with, whatever hour you jump in.

 

[delta7fred]

I attended am blues open mic night last night, there were the same old faces there (one of them being mine) plus a new one. A very nervous girl singer who accompanied herself on an open tuned resonator guitar playing chords with a bottleneck.

Her voice was nothing short of outstanding, but her guitar playing - well sometimes the chord she was playing matched the vocals but most times not. It didn't alter the fact that she got enthusiastic support from the audience of mainly musicians (they might be a load of crusty old musos but they always give newcomers maximum encouragement and support). When she came offstage a few of the old timers gave her some advice on how to improve her act. If she gets as good as I believe she can she will wipe the floor with all us, but that didn't stop several people trying to help her achieve that.

 

[mambo4]

As for playing with other people, I have given it a shot before but my social anxiety makes it more unpleasant than its worth - and I'm not really sure how to get past that

Music could be an excellent opportunity to begin managing your social anxiety.
There is no substitute for playing with others,
I would go so far as to say it is the single most important thing you can do to improve.
One session in a group is worth about 100 practice sessions alone.

With the qualification that you are playing with helpful people and not delusional egotists.

 

[Mosfed]

compose and find other people to play with. the real fun starts there.

No question. Sure some people manage to create sonic masterpieces on their own but for me it's all about the language that you can find with other people. Even just one other person can inspire you in ways that you can't do by yourself. I started playing with this drummer / percussionist a few months back in what became my current project. In the beginning it was just the two of us - bass loops with guitar and bass solos over them with drums and percussion. So the melodic weight was 100% on me. But still we were able to get so much further because there were two of us. Different builds, different textures... different.

Even a cheesy singer/songwriter can do huge amounts for your inspiration. I played with a dude here over the winter and the song choice lefts lots to be desired. But still in the end, I found I learned a ton from the experience.

 

[adi77]

No question. Sure some people manage to create sonic masterpieces on their own but for me it's all about the language that you can find with other people. Even just one other person can inspire you in ways that you can't do by yourself. I started playing with this drummer / percussionist a few months back in what became my current project. In the beginning it was just the two of us - bass loops with guitar and bass solos over them with drums and percussion. So the melodic weight was 100% on me. But still we were able to get so much further because there were two of us. Different builds, different textures... different.

Even a cheesy singer/songwriter can do huge amounts for your inspiration. I played with a dude here over the winter and the song choice lefts lots to be desired. But still in the end, I found I learned a ton from the experience.

personally, i think i only get better when i'm playing with someone who is pushing the limits.. i don't tend to do that on my own, not often enough at least.

 

[Mosfed]

personally, i think i only get better when i'm playing with someone who is pushing the limits.. i don't tend to do that on my own, not often enough at least.

That's exactly it. Someone who challenges you. That's the key for me.

 

[Mosfed]

Playing with others is ESSENTIAL to becoming a competent-great bassist.

ACCEPT THE FOLLOWING:
STEP 1
1.You will make a fool of yourself.
I sang "Should I Stay or Should I Go" in my band when i was 14 at a neighborhood festival. It was awful. People laughed. It dogged me through high school. I would do it again (gulp) for what it made me become.
2. Nobody in the whole world thinks about you or your bass playing as much as you do.
3. You're going to make mistakes. Again. Again. And again.
4. You'll feel inferior in playing abilities to someone you play with.

STEP 2
1. Now when you go home after practice or jamming with someone you can work on the specific mistakes you made that day.
2. Competition breeds excellence. Is that guy really better than you? Can this never change? Opportunity to prove yourself wrong.
3. Playing with different people allows you to decide (actively or passively) what kind of bassist you want to be. Background? Trio? 2 Guitars one bass? Groove specialist? Prog Prophet? You're choice.

STEP 3 (the good part)
1. After playing with people for a while(hopefully playing with the same person or group for at least a few months), someone you know well will refer to you as "really good at bass". You'll be shocked and think it's just a complement at first, then after another time of hearing it you'll realize you've actually excelled.
a) You might also experience the awesome, awesome feeling of while noodling around on a bass or two at a guitar store, one of the good employees strikes up a conversation with you and starts putting the "private reserve" basses in your hands(Ya know, that $4,800 Custom Shop you've always wanted to try). He sees you're good and qualify to touch "the top shelf".
2. Your new version of "mistake" or "screwed up big time" will be 1/1000 of your previous definition.
3. You'll have confidence through competence and experience. It's music. It's art. You'll challenge yourself in ways you never thought you would and achieve more than you ever dreamed.
4. While playing a show and looking at the crowd with a grin on your face you tell yourself "I can't believe I was afraid of this".

This is very well put