Playing with my neighbor (long rank - warning!)

[BassBrass]

At least he's employing a teacher, god bless 'em
But I'd try to ditch the media and paper products and go with a 9% IPA and bass lines you make up.

 

[Sixgunn]

So, I start playing bass again just over a year ago. With nothing else to do thanks to COVID, I'm practicing at least an hour each morning and afternoon. Really enjoying it. Mostly 80s country, classic rock, and working through some printed instructional material. No delusions here. Mediocre bedroom player. My last time on stage was with my twin playing "Tiptoe through Tulips" on our ukeleles in 5th grade. Just want to have some fun, learn something.

I know a neighbor of mine is a guitar player. I see him at a (socially distanced) outdoor neighborhood gathering last Xmas. We talk and agree to start playing together. Once we sobered up, we decided to wait until we were vaccinated. We had a chance to discuss material. I would have agreed to most anything reasonable. I hear "early Beatles hits and same for the Eagles".

I create a playlist of maybe 25 songs. You know what they are. They're the songs of our youth from the 60s and 70s (if you're an old fart). You've heard them all a million times. Taking the "be prepared" motto from the Boy Scouts, I start woodshedding on these songs. Yeah - it's not like it's Jaco/Squire/Lee, but I'm enjoying it. Anyway, with a couple of months waiting on vaccine, I know the material.

He's playing mostly acoustic and doing the singing.

Here's what the sessions are like:

• "I haven't practiced at all since last time" - I hear this EVERY session.
  
• "My fingers are hurting" - I hear this after maybe 45 minutes.
  
• Stopping after a mistake.
  
• Slowing down during parts that aren't just strumming the chords.
  
• Skipping bars.
  
• Trying to flip pages and play from books. This is especially unnerving on the Eagles songs. He has a TAB book and he's trying to do the lead fills between the verses.
  
• Trying to read chord changes from a tablet and bitching that the text is too small.

I just about laughed out loud last week. We were playing "Hide your Love Away" (Beatles) and he's skipping a bar leading into the chorus. I queued up the mp3 and we played along with it. He was obviously wrong. His comment after that was "That version isn't correct". LOL - it's the only Beatles version I'm aware of. I just dropped it. One bar isn't a big deal, but it's yet another symptom.

My attempts to steer this to a more useful territory include:

• Suggesting songs that are just acoustic strumming. This has helped somewhat. We had a nice few minutes with "Best of My Love" ON THE FIRST TRY.
  
• Suggesting that he just create a pentatonic fill (or whatever) on the breaks and forget trying to match the original. His response here is to pull out a glob of sheets from his instructor with scales on it.

The last couple of sessions he doesn't want to play the songs that we'd been (kind of) working on. I suspect he's frustrated. So now I'm suggesting songs that he knows/likes, but can't play yet. Of course, this creates more of the squinting at the tablet.

Interestingly enough, as soon as we quit and I start packing my gear, the phone comes out and I hear "When's the next session?".

It kind of feels like a practice session instead of a "let's play together" session. I mean - you either know the material or you don't. If you don't - you say so and move on. Or you play a simpler version that you can get through.

I'm still enjoying it, oddly enough. I kinda feel like I did in my younger days with girls "She ain't the one, but she's better than nothing". LOL.

I'm getting the "stink-eye" when I get home and start complaining - "Why are you doing this?" is my spouse's response. I am getting lots of practice - listening and adjusting to unexpected changes.

Thanks for indulging my rant.

There's nothing there that would make me in the least bit interested in continuing.

 

[707GK]

The best gift you can give to other musicians is showing up to rehearsal prepared. If you're showing up prepared and others don't want to, you're likely hindering your progress rather than helping anything. You'll find plenty of other musicians to jam with that will come prepared. It's way more fun that way.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

So, I start playing bass again just over a year ago. With nothing else to do thanks to COVID, I'm practicing at least an hour each morning and afternoon. Really enjoying it. Mostly 80s country, classic rock, and working through some printed instructional material. No delusions here. Mediocre bedroom player. My last time on stage was with my twin playing "Tiptoe through Tulips" on our ukeleles in 5th grade. Just want to have some fun, learn something.

I know a neighbor of mine is a guitar player. I see him at a (socially distanced) outdoor neighborhood gathering last Xmas. We talk and agree to start playing together. Once we sobered up, we decided to wait until we were vaccinated. We had a chance to discuss material. I would have agreed to most anything reasonable. I hear "early Beatles hits and same for the Eagles".

I create a playlist of maybe 25 songs. You know what they are. They're the songs of our youth from the 60s and 70s (if you're an old fart). You've heard them all a million times. Taking the "be prepared" motto from the Boy Scouts, I start woodshedding on these songs. Yeah - it's not like it's Jaco/Squire/Lee, but I'm enjoying it. Anyway, with a couple of months waiting on vaccine, I know the material.

He's playing mostly acoustic and doing the singing.

Here's what the sessions are like:

• "I haven't practiced at all since last time" - I hear this EVERY session.
  
• "My fingers are hurting" - I hear this after maybe 45 minutes.
  
• Stopping after a mistake.
  
• Slowing down during parts that aren't just strumming the chords.
  
• Skipping bars.
  
• Trying to flip pages and play from books. This is especially unnerving on the Eagles songs. He has a TAB book and he's trying to do the lead fills between the verses.
  
• Trying to read chord changes from a tablet and bitching that the text is too small.

I just about laughed out loud last week. We were playing "Hide your Love Away" (Beatles) and he's skipping a bar leading into the chorus. I queued up the mp3 and we played along with it. He was obviously wrong. His comment after that was "That version isn't correct". LOL - it's the only Beatles version I'm aware of. I just dropped it. One bar isn't a big deal, but it's yet another symptom.

My attempts to steer this to a more useful territory include:

• Suggesting songs that are just acoustic strumming. This has helped somewhat. We had a nice few minutes with "Best of My Love" ON THE FIRST TRY.
  
• Suggesting that he just create a pentatonic fill (or whatever) on the breaks and forget trying to match the original. His response here is to pull out a glob of sheets from his instructor with scales on it.

The last couple of sessions he doesn't want to play the songs that we'd been (kind of) working on. I suspect he's frustrated. So now I'm suggesting songs that he knows/likes, but can't play yet. Of course, this creates more of the squinting at the tablet.

Interestingly enough, as soon as we quit and I start packing my gear, the phone comes out and I hear "When's the next session?".

It kind of feels like a practice session instead of a "let's play together" session. I mean - you either know the material or you don't. If you don't - you say so and move on. Or you play a simpler version that you can get through.

I'm still enjoying it, oddly enough. I kinda feel like I did in my younger days with girls "She ain't the one, but she's better than nothing". LOL.

I'm getting the "stink-eye" when I get home and start complaining - "Why are you doing this?" is my spouse's response. I am getting lots of practice - listening and adjusting to unexpected changes.

Thanks for indulging my rant.

Expectations are hard to deal with if they are's set at inception of a project. I feel your pain.

Sounds like two guys interested in woodworking. So you get together as you want to see what you can build, but you friend only wants to make sawdust.

 

[roswell1965]

Suggesting that he just create a pentatonic fill (or whatever) on the breaks and forget trying to match the original. His response here is to pull out a glob of sheets from his instructor with scales on it.

Music is a language. Imagine the horrifying speech that would be fostered if English were taught to children in the same manner these music "instructors" deem to teach music - even the most inane ramblings of a street punk represent a Master's level of communication in comparison to any attempt at musical speech fostered by looking at pages with scales printed on them. You might consider buying him a copy of "The Music Lesson" by Victor Wooten, then attempting a fresh start after he reads it.

 

[RichardW]

I'd put up with that for exactly one session.

 

[madasahatter]

To the OP In case you don't feel like reading trough my whole post…. The big thing is for both of you to be on the same page. It sounds like each of you have different expectations and a compromise may be in order to continue playing together. Here is my suggestion. Have a basic 4/4 drum beat going, you play a straightforward bassline throwing in some embellishments here & there, and let him strum or noodle about on top. Then there will be no right or wrong way to play it. If he has to stop you can keep going. You get your jamming in plus some practice playing in time; he gets more used to playing with people and jumping back in or rolling with it when he makes a mistake. Once y'all develop a good groove with each other y'all can go back to playing songs.

I feel that there are 3 distinct forms of getting together and playing with other musicians. Which one you are doing depends on the end goal and what level of musician each person is.

There's Practice, Jamming & Rehearsing.

Practice is when everyone shows up and you are all learning songs together. There's no expectation that anyone has learned stuff beforehand (other than what was done at the previous session). No one is expected to get things right on the first try. You take a handful of bars at a time to learn. Basically the same thing you do at home by yourself, except you're doing it with others.

Jamming is when everyone shows up usually with a short song list that has been agreed upon. The expectation is that everyone should know the basics of the song and should reasonably be able to play through them. Someone may miss a fill here and there, or you might have to strum through a part instead of playing an arpeggio, etc. If one person loses the beat or hasn't fully gotten a part down and has to stop; no big deal. Everyone else keeps going and they pick it up when they can. The main point is you're not going for perfection, you're just playing for fun.

Jamming can also be getting together to just noodle around not really playing anything. This type of jamming can be the sole intent on getting together or to break the monotony of playing the same things over and over. Start off with a backbeat or a bassline and let others jump in whenever. Maybe something will develop out of it, maybe not, either way your still just there to have fun playing.

Rehearsing is usually for those who are actively gigging or forming a band wanting to gig. Everyone is given the set list beforehand and the expectation is to come fully prepared. Everyone should have all the parts down pat. At rehearsal, you're working out any of the kinks, fine tuning the set list, and aiming for perfection. A gigging musician who's income may depend on being in a band who plays well and routinely plays shows has no time for someone to show and half ass everything because they didn't learn their part. Same goes for those forming a band with the intent to play seriously.

One thing that can fall somewhat outside of these main forms is writing your own stuff. That can start off anywhere from play me a beat to mess around on to I wrote this song I'd like everyone to learn. Between spit-balling ideas, developing the progression, and finalizing it all on top of what the end goal is, song writing has its own unique set of challenges.

Is there anything wrong with any of these stages? Absolutely Not. Can you be a 20 year musician and just show up to a practice? Sure. Can you barely have 1 year under your belt and be at a rehearsal? If you have done your homework and can keep up, then yeah. The biggest thing here is that everyone is on the same page and the expectations are clearly defined.

Everyone can start at one stage and end at another. A couple of friends or neighbors just practicing and learning together can lead all the way to full blown rehearsals.

You can even have a mix of these all in one session. For example: Everyone knows these 2 songs so we'll rehearse them. Most of us know the gist of this song so we'll just jam with it and see how it goes. We're interested in playing this one but no one really knows it yet. Let's listen to it and learn together if we have some extra time.

The biggest thing is for everyone to be on the same page and have the same expectations; which can be the most difficult part of playing with people. There always seems to be that one person…. Either showing up to a rehearsal unprepared and half-assing it; or showing up to a laid back jam session thinking their gods gift to music and getting pissed if everyone else is not playing note for note.

 

[Yellow Bang66]

So, I start playing bass again just over a year ago. With nothing else to do thanks to COVID, I'm practicing at least an hour each morning and afternoon. Really enjoying it. Mostly 80s country, classic rock, and working through some printed instructional material. No delusions here. Mediocre bedroom player. My last time on stage was with my twin playing "Tiptoe through Tulips" on our ukeleles in 5th grade. Just want to have some fun, learn something.

I know a neighbor of mine is a guitar player. I see him at a (socially distanced) outdoor neighborhood gathering last Xmas. We talk and agree to start playing together. Once we sobered up, we decided to wait until we were vaccinated. We had a chance to discuss material. I would have agreed to most anything reasonable. I hear "early Beatles hits and same for the Eagles".

I create a playlist of maybe 25 songs. You know what they are. They're the songs of our youth from the 60s and 70s (if you're an old fart). You've heard them all a million times. Taking the "be prepared" motto from the Boy Scouts, I start woodshedding on these songs. Yeah - it's not like it's Jaco/Squire/Lee, but I'm enjoying it. Anyway, with a couple of months waiting on vaccine, I know the material.

He's playing mostly acoustic and doing the singing.

Here's what the sessions are like:

• "I haven't practiced at all since last time" - I hear this EVERY session.
  
• "My fingers are hurting" - I hear this after maybe 45 minutes.
  
• Stopping after a mistake.
  
• Slowing down during parts that aren't just strumming the chords.
  
• Skipping bars.
  
• Trying to flip pages and play from books. This is especially unnerving on the Eagles songs. He has a TAB book and he's trying to do the lead fills between the verses.
  
• Trying to read chord changes from a tablet and bitching that the text is too small.

I just about laughed out loud last week. We were playing "Hide your Love Away" (Beatles) and he's skipping a bar leading into the chorus. I queued up the mp3 and we played along with it. He was obviously wrong. His comment after that was "That version isn't correct". LOL - it's the only Beatles version I'm aware of. I just dropped it. One bar isn't a big deal, but it's yet another symptom.

My attempts to steer this to a more useful territory include:

• Suggesting songs that are just acoustic strumming. This has helped somewhat. We had a nice few minutes with "Best of My Love" ON THE FIRST TRY.
  
• Suggesting that he just create a pentatonic fill (or whatever) on the breaks and forget trying to match the original. His response here is to pull out a glob of sheets from his instructor with scales on it.

The last couple of sessions he doesn't want to play the songs that we'd been (kind of) working on. I suspect he's frustrated. So now I'm suggesting songs that he knows/likes, but can't play yet. Of course, this creates more of the squinting at the tablet.

Interestingly enough, as soon as we quit and I start packing my gear, the phone comes out and I hear "When's the next session?".

It kind of feels like a practice session instead of a "let's play together" session. I mean - you either know the material or you don't. If you don't - you say so and move on. Or you play a simpler version that you can get through.

I'm still enjoying it, oddly enough. I kinda feel like I did in my younger days with girls "She ain't the one, but she's better than nothing". LOL.

I'm getting the "stink-eye" when I get home and start complaining - "Why are you doing this?" is my spouse's response. I am getting lots of practice - listening and adjusting to unexpected changes.

Thanks for indulging my rant.

Yeah, been there... Its just trying to find the right mix. I took upon myself, to expand what i was doing to cover what others were too lazy to figure out, like ill play the lead fills on the bass or something like that.
My best friend was getting frustrated getting like minded people to "jam" with, So He came up with everyone( a group of about4 people) pick 3-5 songs each, to play at the jam session so with 4 people thats around 12-16 songs to play a good small set! there's a small short meeting of what we want to accomplish! and a little understanding of "no crazy Zappa songs or any weird time signatures!" this way we all get to play a couple of songs that we wanna play, not dictated a set of songs you could careless about, and it kinda insures you'll at least learn your songs and give you that motivation to learn a song(s) you dont like(cause others are learning your songs!) It worked out great, and it was nt Like having to cram learn 50 songs, and you get to ask the others about their songs! like what key is that bridge in? or whats that lick in the begining? usually its funny cause any tough song is canned!
So I suggest You give him a chance and let him choose a couple of songs he Likes or wants todo! so its not just him learning your songs! so if he starts moaning& groaning about it its his song or choice, "cant complain you picked that song!" IME the picker will drop the song, if its a tricky one.
Occasionally yu'll get the guy choosing hard songs& not learning them, but you just learn to ignore him,"You dont even learn your own songs!!
Give him a little rope, let him pick some songs and see if he keeps falling short. I f he does it with his own choices, then move on find a new colleague!

 

[Lowbrow]

Likely you'll miss the musical interaction if you dropped it because it isn't perfect so I suggest adjusting your expectations.
Doesn't sound like your other half is into hearing you complain about what is supposed to be a 'fun' activity for you -- suggest you try to minimize the crabbing or at least present it as a kind of funny observation that you can share between you--without her wondering why you are 'wasting your time' doing something you dislike that takes time away from her

 

[micguy]

I play church gigs. This Sunday, I got up at 4:55 AM, got to church and set up by 6:20 (call time). Everyone shows up rehearsed, prepared, working gear - the whole 9 yards. We run through the material, discuss any notes on the arrangement, take a 10 minute break, then do a run through (with the people talking and stuff). Then it's about a half hour, and we're on for the first service. We can't afford things like not showing up prepared - we have a gig a few hours from when we meet up.

Your situation is different. I don't know how I'd approach something like that. Clearly, you're never going to gig with this guy - you might play in someone's backyard in the neighborhood or something, but that's about it. Even that will require more effort to do it well than what you've got happening.

Some of us live by deadlines - I HAVE to show up prepared, there is no slipping the deadline. That actually helps make what I do worth it - it provides structure to things. Some folks operate differently. You gotta figure out if this is OK or not. It sounds like he never promised you that he'd show up ready, so you can't complain about that, but only you can understand if this is worth your time.

 

[swarfrat]

It's a neighbor. We can't all live next door to Nathan East or Tim Pierce. Have fun, if you're not having fun, have a BBQ instead. I wouldn't hang too much hopes at the chance that one of the people in your neighborhood are stellar musicians

 

[MD]

• Trying to read chord changes from a tablet and bitching that the text is too small.

I'm just a few years away from bumping into walls, so I can relate to this.

 

[MichelD]

Yeah. I feel. A good friend invited me out to his weekly jams and I attended quite a few of them over an hour away by transit the year before the Covid pandmeic and it was a roomful of guys and the occasional gal almost all equipped with Fender Stratocasters and not one of them knew how to play a single song all the way through.

They all had IPADS or whatever the shag you call those things and every song it was "Oh- Let's play..blah, blah, blah" then there would be 10 minutes of friggin' around while everyone tried to find the same version in the same key.

I liked my buddy and respected the fact that he provided a P.A., a bass and an amp for me and coordinated the whole thing, but it was painful.

Fortunately I also played and now strictly play with four other old guys who either have clear hard copy charts they hand out at jams (we do jazz and everything else from the 19-teens to contemporary) or know plenty of songs in their head that we can just wing. We're all at about the same level of very competent amateur, everyone is a strong soloist me excepted they can sing pretty good and there are hundreds of songs we can do.

Much better fit.

 

[MegaSwing]

Upgrade. Now.

 

[Nickweissmusic]

So, I start playing bass again just over a year ago. With nothing else to do thanks to COVID, I'm practicing at least an hour each morning and afternoon. Really enjoying it. Mostly 80s country, classic rock, and working through some printed instructional material. No delusions here. Mediocre bedroom player. My last time on stage was with my twin playing "Tiptoe through Tulips" on our ukeleles in 5th grade. Just want to have some fun, learn something.

I know a neighbor of mine is a guitar player. I see him at a (socially distanced) outdoor neighborhood gathering last Xmas. We talk and agree to start playing together. Once we sobered up, we decided to wait until we were vaccinated. We had a chance to discuss material. I would have agreed to most anything reasonable. I hear "early Beatles hits and same for the Eagles".

I create a playlist of maybe 25 songs. You know what they are. They're the songs of our youth from the 60s and 70s (if you're an old fart). You've heard them all a million times. Taking the "be prepared" motto from the Boy Scouts, I start woodshedding on these songs. Yeah - it's not like it's Jaco/Squire/Lee, but I'm enjoying it. Anyway, with a couple of months waiting on vaccine, I know the material.

He's playing mostly acoustic and doing the singing.

Here's what the sessions are like:

• "I haven't practiced at all since last time" - I hear this EVERY session.
  
• "My fingers are hurting" - I hear this after maybe 45 minutes.
  
• Stopping after a mistake.
  
• Slowing down during parts that aren't just strumming the chords.
  
• Skipping bars.
  
• Trying to flip pages and play from books. This is especially unnerving on the Eagles songs. He has a TAB book and he's trying to do the lead fills between the verses.
  
• Trying to read chord changes from a tablet and bitching that the text is too small.

I just about laughed out loud last week. We were playing "Hide your Love Away" (Beatles) and he's skipping a bar leading into the chorus. I queued up the mp3 and we played along with it. He was obviously wrong. His comment after that was "That version isn't correct". LOL - it's the only Beatles version I'm aware of. I just dropped it. One bar isn't a big deal, but it's yet another symptom.

My attempts to steer this to a more useful territory include:

• Suggesting songs that are just acoustic strumming. This has helped somewhat. We had a nice few minutes with "Best of My Love" ON THE FIRST TRY.
  
• Suggesting that he just create a pentatonic fill (or whatever) on the breaks and forget trying to match the original. His response here is to pull out a glob of sheets from his instructor with scales on it.

The last couple of sessions he doesn't want to play the songs that we'd been (kind of) working on. I suspect he's frustrated. So now I'm suggesting songs that he knows/likes, but can't play yet. Of course, this creates more of the squinting at the tablet.

Interestingly enough, as soon as we quit and I start packing my gear, the phone comes out and I hear "When's the next session?".

It kind of feels like a practice session instead of a "let's play together" session. I mean - you either know the material or you don't. If you don't - you say so and move on. Or you play a simpler version that you can get through.

I'm still enjoying it, oddly enough. I kinda feel like I did in my younger days with girls "She ain't the one, but she's better than nothing". LOL.

I'm getting the "stink-eye" when I get home and start complaining - "Why are you doing this?" is my spouse's response. I am getting lots of practice - listening and adjusting to unexpected changes.

Thanks for indulging my rant.

every musician's been there, and you've probably been that musician to someone else lol. Just keep slumming it until it completely stops being fun, you'll know when ;-)

If you played together more, he'd get better, but to be frank, those dropping measure issues can be tough to fix, and in the case if the guy you're dealing with, likely not gonna happen. I had a buddy who was a band leader, a decent musician who knew a bunch of tunes, but man, he would drop measures, and it's just inexcusable. From time to time I would make excuses to turn down good paying gigs from him, a guy who's been my friend for decades. It's pretty much all work and no reward to play with form droppers.

Now that you've gotten your feet wet and you're enjoying it, maybe it's time to stick your neck out and show up to some blues jams, open mics etc. if those ever exist again, or look for other players on craigslist, etc.

 

[brianrost]

When I was in college, a girl in the next dorm told me there was a banjo player living in my dorm. So I went to introduce myself only to find out I knew his father (long story). We started jamming on bluegrass tunes for fun. The next semester we became roommates.

Our jamming brought other dorm mates to stick their heads in the door to check it out. A guy right across the hall was a beginning guitarist and he started coming over to jam. A couple of the other guys would come by and hang out to listen, drink beer and pass around the odd doobie. It turned out that one of the guys lived next door to my grandfather!

By the time I graduated, we had grown into a group of 8 people who would just hang out together. Sometimes the three of us would be playing, other times we'd be listening to records or just shooting the breeze and telling bad jokes. We even did some Animal House inspired weekend road trips.

Forty years later, the guitarist has become a really good bluegrass player who can also play some jazz, even landing a regular jazz gig at a local restaurant. Until he retired in 2018, he would throw a weekend long party on his gentleman's farm in CT. A few dozen bluegrass pickers and fans (including myself a few times) would show up to kick off the summer bluegrass festival season. Oddly enough, he married a woman who been the high school girlfriend of my brother's best friend. My roommate is still playing in CT bluegrass bands. I moved to MA so don't see them as often as I should but we are still in touch. Music is what made us friends for life.

 

[RocknRay]

This happens whenever "2 or more are gathered" to make music. Levels of talent, experience and work ethic; desire to improve; personalities compatible or not; leadership skills or not; repertoire; goals & expectations. Happens every time a new player or singer shows up...I'm happy I've found 3 other gents to play with for 20 years now at a bar gig/backyard party level. Hope you can find something that works!

 

[VolverseLoco]

every musician's been there, and you've probably been that musician to someone else lol. Just keep slumming it until it completely stops being fun, you'll know when ;-)

If you played together more, he'd get better, but to be frank, those dropping measure issues can be tough to fix, and in the case if the guy you're dealing with, likely not gonna happen. I had a buddy who was a band leader, a decent musician who knew a bunch of tunes, but man, he would drop measures, and it's just inexcusable. From time to time I would make excuses to turn down good paying gigs from him, a guy who's been my friend for decades. It's pretty much all work and no reward to play with form droppers.

Now that you've gotten your feet wet and you're enjoying it, maybe it's time to stick your neck out and show up to some blues jams, open mics etc. if those ever exist again, or look for other players on craigslist, etc.

I would think that 'dropping' measures and/or skipping measures goes a little deeper than just that. I mean, unless its some Dream Theater in hellacious oddball timing/changes, the normal person just 'has a feel' for regular simple 4/4 music measure stuff, even if you don't play an instrument. It's just subliminaly beaten into you by modern day radio. Like your brain knows that more is to come and your not done yet or it's not time to start a new measure and just not bother with the one thats supposed to be there.

 

[Nickweissmusic]

I would think that 'dropping' measures and/or skipping measures goes a little deeper than just that. I mean, unless its some Dream Theater in hellacious oddball timing/changes, the normal person just 'has a feel' for regular simple 4/4 music measure stuff, even if you don't play an instrument. It's just subliminaly beaten into you by modern day radio. Like your brain knows that more is to come and your not done yet or it's not time to start a new measure and just not bother with the one thats supposed to be there.

It's a brutal problem, and I think it has to do with treating songs as strings of chords, rather than songs with melodies and progressions that seek resolution. It's nothing unusual to have beginners blow the form on the blues, because they're not thinking of it as musical phrases, they just lose count of how many measures of whatever chord they've just played LOL. Most people outgrow it, and my buddy was/is a fine blues player, but when it came to jazz, I could never settle in and get comfortable because I always had to be listening out for dropped bars, you just never knew when they were going to happen. Sure it was good training in how to communicate with a band, but after a while it got old.

I *implored* my buddy, who practiced a lot (too much of the wrong things I imagine), to spend a good portion of time sitting down and playing Freddie Green chords and humming/singing the melodies. I don't know if he ever took my advice or not, I just had to move on after a couple YEARS (the money was good!) of being his #1 bass player. He's still active and pretty successful to be honest, no idea whether he ironed out his issues or just pays more to have people cover for him .

 

[consectaneus]

This sounds eerily similar to my previous situation. Same kind of guitar player you mention. I'd swear you were listening in to our sessions. Try to find serious people on your level or better. If you have to be diplomatic, find a way to gradually bow out. People here told me it wouldn't get better, and it didn't.