Please point out the red flag in my response

[J_Bass]

I was a professor, too - but I can’t imagine why that would EVER MATTER IN A BAND. My last bands keyboard player was also an associate professor at Northwestern U - and she NEVER brought that up, either.

The guy reminds me of those PhDs who insists on being called “doctor” by EVERYONE.

Dude needs to get over himself.

Yeah, that's the red flag for me. Him, not you, OP.

He sounds like the kind of personality I really don't get along. To much self importance and narcissism.

I would keep looking.


EDIT: I changed my mind after reading the others' opinions. Please disregard this post.

 

[truand85]

I know some people will think this is foolish or a waste of time. I am also aware that things like this are posted quite frequently on this board.

That being stated, I still would truly value input on this matter.

Two months ago, I was browsing craigslist for band and/or jam opportunities (please don't point out that Craigslist is the red flag). My geographical area generally has very very posts, maybe one or two a month.

I found this listing:
Intermediate jazz guitar player in <AREA> looking for other jazz musicians for occasional jam sessions and, perhaps, some low pressure gigs. Horns, bass, keyboard, drummer, or other guitar players are welcome to reply. I enjoy playing standards, comping, trading off solos, etc. Again, very low pressure.

So I contacted the poster, especially tantalized by the last line of their add.

I received a response, and found out that the poster is a teacher at a nearby university. I explained my situation:

I am a male in my 40's, playing alone 14+ years, extremely limited band experience. More into classic rock than jazz, but just wanting to get out there and play. The positives are I own all my own gear, have my own transportation, and no children, so I have very few other commitments. I mentioned I'm going through a "Steely Dan" kick right now, that might be considered a bit jazzy.

He replied back:
First of all, don’t be intimidated that I’m a professor - I’m a <FIELD> professor not a music professor! And you are correct, just playing in a low stress, non-judgmental environment is the best way to learn. You can only play along with recorded music in your practice room for so long and then you’ve got to get out there. Being able to read music on a fundamental level helps. If you see a Dm7, A7, Gmaj7 on a chord chart and can find the D, the A, and the G on your fretboard, you’re halfway there!
I’ll be back in touch soon. Have a happy Easter.

(This email has all his professional info and a picture, it is easy to verify that he is indeed a professor where he says he is.)

A week or so later and a third response:
Dear <comatosedragon>, <P2>, and <P3>,
Greetings to the three of you. Thanks again for responding to my Craigslist post about a jazz jam session. It looks like we have two bass players (P3 and comatosedragon), saxophone (P2), and guitar (me). There might be a student or two at <COLLEGE> who would be interesting in sitting in as well. I have blind copied each of you on this email because I didn’t get your permission to share your email addresses with the others.
If everyone is in agreement, one possibility is to meet and play in the band room at <COLLEGE>. That would keep those in <TOWN> from having to drive all the way to <CITY>. After graduation next weekend, the band room will be pretty empty for the rest of the spring and most of the summer. We have music stands, amps for bass and keyboard, and a nice drum kit (if a drummer pops up). There’s also plenty of parking right next to the building, so there wouldn’t be much walking.
The college is in final exams right now and we have graduation next weekend. Give me a couple of weeks to get through this end of the semester “crunch", and then we can schedule something.
If you are still interested, would you all email me your preferences for days of the week and time? For example, do you prefer weekend afternoons, weekend evenings, weekday evenings, etc.? In the meantime, I select five or six tunes and make copies of the lead sheets for those who would like them.

When I saw this, I got excited and immediately sent a response. I admit, when I'm nervous I tend to get flustered or try to find something "intelligent to say".

I sent this message:
I think meeting and playing at the college is a good idea.
I work 3rd shift, so I guess I'm going to be the most 'difficult' member; but then again I am sure that I am the least experienced, so maybe there's an interesting dichotomy there.
I get off around 8am, so for me; Mon-Wed I am available from 9am-noon. Thursdays do not work for me. Fridays and Saturdays work the best for me; any time should be fine as long as I have notice. I generally visit my mother on Sundays, but I can make arrangements if the other members prefer to meet on Sunday.
I would like copies of the lead sheets of the songs you selected; that would be very helpful. Although I'm certain a lead sheet is written in musical notation (which I can not read, but I have to start somewhere I guess) I will at least be able to find online sources to help me figure it out.
I may even be able to find a song or two transposed for Rocksmith, which has been my learning tool for the better part of a decade.
Thank you

I have been ghosted since.
Obviously, there is no way to know someone's mind, but I am curious:
If you had posted this add and received my response, what is the red flag that jumps out at you?

Was it Rocksmith? My poor attempt at a joke? Or maybe he just knows 2 bass player is too many, especially if one is as inexperienced as me?

It just feels like his teaching background set off his spider-sense about me or something. IDK.

Thanks for your input folks.

Two bass players is a crowd. If the other guy can read music and his schedule worked better that might be why you got ghosted, imo

 

[burgerdj]

He’s busy closing out the semester, but honestly I think it is your third-shift schedule, which will impact your availability to practice and perform. Not an excuse to ghost you, so I would follow up over the weekend.

 

[gln1955]

Don't be put off by the fellow describing himself as a professor. (I speak as a professor.) I bring what I do for a living up from time-to-time during a distance bass deal to simply reassure the buyer that I'm a respectable member of society and that, quite apart from my home address information, I can be found and recognized as being on the level via my professional address. It does reassure some buyers. In a new band situation, people sometimes are put off by the thought of playing with a professor, a physician, a company president, whatever. Sometimes it's thinking they may have nothing in common with that bandmate, or thinking that the bandmate may be too busy to commit to a serious musical project. Either way, putting that on the table up front is more courtesy than bragging.

Same for me. As part a vetting discussion, I always ask what line of work people are in and offer the same (professor, BTW). His explanation that his field is not music and that the OP should not be concerned about that is completely reasonable.

But back to the question, I think it is most likely that he has also linked up with another bass player that is more experienced, can read, etc. and/or has a more accommodating schedule.

 

[LBS-bass]

My guess is your schedule. You can't make evenings during the week, and if you ever plan anything for a weekend, you are out for a week.

This. Working people won't be able to do this during the day, and most people want weekends for other things.

I also concur that academics are busy and he may yet contact you. But I would not be surprised if being unable to play on weeknights selects you out; that'd put the kibosh on most of the bands I've ever rehearsed with unless the members are all retired.

 

[LBS-bass]

Yeah, that's the red flag for me. Him, not you, OP.

He sounds like the kind of personality I really don't get along. To much self importance and narcissism.

I would keep looking.

He offered space at the college. Seems reasonable to explain why the space is available to him for free.

 

[Koog]

Your schedule may be difficult for others to meet. And, when you get to gigging, if you do, the schedule information you provided might suggest that scheduling gigs could be difficult as well.

He mentioned two bass players. The other bassist may have been able to meet his scheduling requirements more readily.

Koog

 

[IanStephenson]

Never try and second guess why someone you don't really know goes dark on you. It's almost certainly something else in they life - you simply don't know enough about him to know what's going on. Of all the things going on in his life, its unlikely your email that's responsible.

His parents could be ill, he could have been in a car crash, he could have been offered a job in a different country, his computer could have crashed and lost your contact details, he could have been offered a gig on a stadium tour, he could have been abducted by aliens, and suffering from amnesia after the whole probe thing... you don't know, so don't take it personally and don't spend ages trying to guess.

So far he's been pretty chilled, but a little slow on getting back because he's busy without there stuff. Working at a university I can confirm that workload can vary wildly through the year, and around now we hit crunch with marking stuff in time to compete the year. And just when you think you have some quiet time, stuff turns up... Most likely he'll get back in a few weeks.

 

[Killing Floor]

You didn’t wish him a happy Easter in return?

 

[Ggaa]

Maybe shift and available days.
Then again he might hook back up with you.

 

[salmon256]

I agree with everyone. Probably really busy, while most colleges just ended including my tons of profs are still putting in grades, dealing with students, if he's prof of a STEM major then I can totally see him taking lots of time these last few weeks. No matter the study def normal to be busy these last few weeks, I wouldn't take offense to it yet, I had someone write me back about a band thing super late and to my school email... I wasn't happy but I guess I did get response. If you feel like it's been to wrong doesn't hurt to give a follow up email but I say give it a little time.

 

[Ostie]

I would guess that the professor got busy with wrapping up things at school.

I had a similar experience. I put an ad on CL that I was looking to play some percussion (congas, cajon, hand percussion, etc.) I immediately got a response from a LS/GP who was looking for percussion and bass and wanted to get together at his place, and he’d get back to me ASAP with date and time. That was over a month ago and I haven’t heard another word.

 

[J_Bass]

He offered space at the college. Seems reasonable to explain why the space is available to him for free.

Good point.

I may have been a little harsh in my opinion.

 

[dfreeland83]

So, the Rocksmith / notation thing may have been a small red flag.

For me, though, I do believe that guy may just be crazy busy. Working in higher ed, I saw the stress and burnout of faculty members during the end of the semester. It's all-hands-on-deck from May til June for most folks.

 

[cheapbasslovin]

To me you laid out very succinctly the myriad of ways you'd be really hard to work with. Between the schedule, having to catch up on your knowledge and having another bass player at the ready it's a lot to take on, making the hang potentially less fun for him. There's a couple of ways to interpret your reply, but if I was looking for the negative angle that'd be it.

That said, he may still get back to you, so here's hoping for that, and if he doesn't then you can learn from this and move on.

 

[Danny O Danny]

For a couple of years I played in a band led by a college professor (English Lit.). There were certain times when his job completely monopolized his life and he would "go dark." He put in long hours. Between being available to his students, grading student assignments, writing papers (the old adage for professors is "publish or perish"), doing departmental responsibilities and administrative meetings and college functions, etc. it was a wonder he had any time at all for the band (or his family). Great guy though. Super nice. Sometimes also he was the stereotypical "absent-minded professor" because he had so much going on. But he's kept that band going for a dozen years now, with mostly the same members (I moved on due to circumstances in my life). But everyone in the band understood that sometimes he did not respond for a while to communications (and then when he did finally respond he was usually very apologetic and had very valid reasons).

 

[CBRXJ]

it was the Rocksmith or he might have just died.

 

[sean_on_bass]

I know some people will think this is foolish or a waste of time. I am also aware that things like this are posted quite frequently on this board.

That being stated, I still would truly value input on this matter.

Two months ago, I was browsing craigslist for band and/or jam opportunities (please don't point out that Craigslist is the red flag). My geographical area generally has very very posts, maybe one or two a month.

I found this listing:
Intermediate jazz guitar player in <AREA> looking for other jazz musicians for occasional jam sessions and, perhaps, some low pressure gigs. Horns, bass, keyboard, drummer, or other guitar players are welcome to reply. I enjoy playing standards, comping, trading off solos, etc. Again, very low pressure.

So I contacted the poster, especially tantalized by the last line of their add.

I received a response, and found out that the poster is a teacher at a nearby university. I explained my situation:

I am a male in my 40's, playing alone 14+ years, extremely limited band experience. More into classic rock than jazz, but just wanting to get out there and play. The positives are I own all my own gear, have my own transportation, and no children, so I have very few other commitments. I mentioned I'm going through a "Steely Dan" kick right now, that might be considered a bit jazzy.

He replied back:
First of all, don’t be intimidated that I’m a professor - I’m a <FIELD> professor not a music professor! And you are correct, just playing in a low stress, non-judgmental environment is the best way to learn. You can only play along with recorded music in your practice room for so long and then you’ve got to get out there. Being able to read music on a fundamental level helps. If you see a Dm7, A7, Gmaj7 on a chord chart and can find the D, the A, and the G on your fretboard, you’re halfway there!
I’ll be back in touch soon. Have a happy Easter.

(This email has all his professional info and a picture, it is easy to verify that he is indeed a professor where he says he is.)

A week or so later and a third response:
Dear <comatosedragon>, <P2>, and <P3>,
Greetings to the three of you. Thanks again for responding to my Craigslist post about a jazz jam session. It looks like we have two bass players (P3 and comatosedragon), saxophone (P2), and guitar (me). There might be a student or two at <COLLEGE> who would be interesting in sitting in as well. I have blind copied each of you on this email because I didn’t get your permission to share your email addresses with the others.
If everyone is in agreement, one possibility is to meet and play in the band room at <COLLEGE>. That would keep those in <TOWN> from having to drive all the way to <CITY>. After graduation next weekend, the band room will be pretty empty for the rest of the spring and most of the summer. We have music stands, amps for bass and keyboard, and a nice drum kit (if a drummer pops up). There’s also plenty of parking right next to the building, so there wouldn’t be much walking.
The college is in final exams right now and we have graduation next weekend. Give me a couple of weeks to get through this end of the semester “crunch", and then we can schedule something.
If you are still interested, would you all email me your preferences for days of the week and time? For example, do you prefer weekend afternoons, weekend evenings, weekday evenings, etc.? In the meantime, I select five or six tunes and make copies of the lead sheets for those who would like them.

When I saw this, I got excited and immediately sent a response. I admit, when I'm nervous I tend to get flustered or try to find something "intelligent to say".

I sent this message:
I think meeting and playing at the college is a good idea.
I work 3rd shift, so I guess I'm going to be the most 'difficult' member; but then again I am sure that I am the least experienced, so maybe there's an interesting dichotomy there.
I get off around 8am, so for me; Mon-Wed I am available from 9am-noon. Thursdays do not work for me. Fridays and Saturdays work the best for me; any time should be fine as long as I have notice. I generally visit my mother on Sundays, but I can make arrangements if the other members prefer to meet on Sunday.
I would like copies of the lead sheets of the songs you selected; that would be very helpful. Although I'm certain a lead sheet is written in musical notation (which I can not read, but I have to start somewhere I guess) I will at least be able to find online sources to help me figure it out.
I may even be able to find a song or two transposed for Rocksmith, which has been my learning tool for the better part of a decade.
Thank you

I have been ghosted since.
Obviously, there is no way to know someone's mind, but I am curious:
If you had posted this add and received my response, what is the red flag that jumps out at you?

Was it Rocksmith? My poor attempt at a joke? Or maybe he just knows 2 bass player is too many, especially if one is as inexperienced as me?

It just feels like his teaching background set off his spider-sense about me or something. IDK.

Thanks for your input folks.

Firstly, i don't think you wrote anything to deserve being ghosted so try not to worry about that. I also don't think him being a professor is something to focus on either, professors can be idiots just like you and me . Reading his email it sounds like he is in a crunch for a couple weeks so i wouldn't expect a response until at least 2 weeks have passed or more. On the Rocksmith thing, most jazz musicians will not really have any clue what that even is.

If you don't mind, i'd like to give you some advice on preparing for a future jazz jam session. When it comes to charts for reference, most jazz players either don't use one or rely on Real Book lead sheets. There is also an app called iReal that contains chord sheets for most common jazz standards. Real Book lead sheets tend to have the chords above each measure for the bassist to play off of, plus a written melody for whomever is taking lead on the tune. iReal is chords only to avoid copyright issues. iReal also doubles as a backing track app to help you practice. Learning to read these types of charts is an essential skill. Having tunes memorized is even better of course.

Also, you want to have a handful of tunes that you know really well in your back pocket for a jam. That helps when you you get asked if you want to play anything as you can suggest something you know you can play. Even better if those tunes are fairly common. Here is a list that Aimee Nolte put together that i keep handy of her top 25 tunes to learn for a jam. I added a few myself. Good luck and have fun!

** What is this thing called love
25. Take the A Train
24. Autumn Leaves
23. All of Me
22. Blue Bossa
** Song for my Father
21. Satin Doll
20. Fly me to The Moon
19. So What
18. Straight no Chaser
** Blue Monk
17. Summertime
16. Oleo
15. Alone Together
14. How High the Moon
13. Softly, as in a Morning Sunrise
12. Bye Bye Blackbird
11. Mr PC
10. St Thomas
** Doxy
9. Someday my Prince will Come
8. Black Orpheus
7. Cherokee
6. Footprints
5. The Girl from Ipanema
4. All the Things You Are
3. On Green Dolphin St.
2. Stella by Starlight
1. Confirmation

 

[GretschWretch]

"Don't be intimidated that I'm a professor."

Why would anyone assume that someone would be intimidated? What's the concern? Why even mention it?

Because a lot of people *are* intimidated. The sentiment may be groundless, but it is there. Just like a lot of people are intimidated by the word "library." Sometimes ignorance breeds needless negativity.

 

[JRA]

also: i'm with @sean_on_bass --- too early in the game to be sensitive about all of this. just wait for the "professor" to respond. and sean's tune suggestions are perfect to get started, IMO.