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Post your Craigslist Humorous Finds

#24
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

""GENIUS SONGWRITER SEEKS HELP PROMOTING SPECIAL AND ORIGINAL MUSIC (philadelphia)


I have a very interesting and unique music that I would like to promote online. There are many people who feel that the music coming out today is boring and lame. This music could be a gold mine for someone who has skills marketing stuff online, doing promotion and reaching the right people.
I have a songwriting gift but I'm not good at the marketing promotion end. The right person who "gets it" could very well take it to the next level. If curios please call me at [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
ps I'm not bragging or egotistical don't let the title of this post confuse you. I just know I have a gift and it will go to waste if I don't find a partner to work with""
 
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#29
Established punk band that's tired of the crap society and media shovels out is looking for a singer with a like-minded viewpoint.

So, if you like to speak you mind and get a point across through music, look us up.

********, weirdo's, druggies, freaks, and jerks are welcome...also, have some kind of recordings, footage or stuff with you in action to make sure your not smooth jazz lounge singer or something.
 
#30
Saw this today:

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Old Fart Band needs Bass Player (Everywhere)

Old fart cover band needs Old fart Bass player to Play Old fart rock covers. Our members are old farts. we look like old farts and smell like old farts. our music sounds like farts going off in unison. Our guitars have rusty old strings, our drums are old fart smelling with rusty lugs. We play in old smelly bars and venues where people are farting while we play our poopy music. We have day jobs where we fart on our co workers. It keeps the farty smell lingering. If you are interested keep on farting baby!
 
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#34
Stratocaster (Japanese copy) Custom Painted with Fender Gig Bag

This guitar has some history to it. It belonged to a guitarist who does a Jimi Hendrix tribute. It has been painted with a psychedelic design. She plays fine and was probably a back-up guitar. Certainly she was not gigged much if at all. There is a strap button on each horn. I suppose this is so the guitarist could play the guitar upside down the way Hendrix did. (Jimi played a right-handed strat but was actually left-handed.)
Some scratches and slight dents/gouges. No known functional problems.

The guitar's neck is in fine shape - straight, working truss rod, good action. The string height at the 12th fret is about 2/16". This strat plays well with a sweet tone. The Fender Tex Mex pickups were bought new and installed by me. I would estimate the guitar is about 15 years old but that's just a guess. I have the original pickups (which were also painted to match the psychedelic custom paint job). I can throw the original pickups in for $15 more.

THE UNIQUE STUFF:
The fretboard is colour-coded using a custom paint job. For instance, every yellow fret space is an "E" note. Every purple fret space is an "A" note, etc,.. This means you can easily see which which notes make up any chord that you play. Kind of useful!
The colour codes also apply to the headstock. For instance, in standard tuning both E strings have Yellow stripes behind them. Get it?

This guitar has been sitting around collecting dust at my place. I have two other strats and prefer humbuckers in the bridge position so off she goes to a new home... The guitar needs a cleaning. The jack input nut is slightly loose but no noise or anything to disrupt your playing.

The guitar will come with the original tremolo bar, a Fender gig bag and a groovy vibe!
I'm keeping my tablecloth. ;^)

Play on,
Clint
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#35
Amateur musical soulmate sought - It's complicated (South Oceanside)

50-year old man with a past seeking a (preferably) female vocal and a kinda/maybe musician to do very simple demo-like basic recording and kill time until there's no more time to kill.

Total dorks are completely welcome. Please no religious zealots or those who might be tempted to say "the lord blessed me with cancer" because I can't buy that poopie even if it were covered in diamonds and chocolate with a sprinkling of coconut and quaaludes.

I hate my voice and musicianship. I despise most of my songs. I'm seeking to put a voice on my current songs, do computer editing to spiffy them up just to feel like I've done something with myself. Don't expect me to jam, because it ain't happening.

A longer-term goal would be to recover my ability to sufficiently play simple 30-minute sets in a small band or CIA torture program. No delusions of being discovered, making money or having groupies score me some free weed. Unfortunately, music is the Monkee on my back, and heck, Peter Tork is heavier than he looks.

My reference to the Monkees is no accident. Pure pop for now people, for Pete's Sake!

I'll send a link to those who can put a few sentences together and seem real. A "send me a link" message with no substance is pretty much a "I'm too lazy and am trolling Craigslist while waiting for my parole officer to meet with me about that Facebook posting I made last night" message. Please include the name of your current favorite band in the subject line as a way for me to triage your response into the "look at me now" X-file :-)

Final screening statement:

Yes, I believe that shooting criminals doing bad things and threatening others is OK, the ACLU does not support body cameras for cops because it will take away from their lawsuit money-making business and I believe that most American'ts are ****tards who buy the lies way too easily. I am tired of the lying newscasters and researchers who come up with bull**** that everyone consumes like they're late for their fix. According to Al Gore, there should be no polar ice caps right now and, according to Brian Williams, the French Quarter flooded during Katrina. What about vaccines causing autism? What the **** is wrong with people? Don't get me started on Kanye West... Oh yeah, check your minds out at the door and do your best Sgt. Schultz.

What I do believe in is polar shift, the cycles of the sun and Tesla's greatness.
 
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#36
Young Female Bassist Wanted (san diego)

We are a band in need of a female bassist. Please be at 'least' 16 and be able to provide a picture of yourself. No Bass Skills required. We have a 16 year old female singer, a 40 year old male drummer, and a 38 year old male guitarist. We have transportation. We have our own touring van that has no windows in the back. Hope to hear back from you.
 
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Reactions: Mr_Moo, CDoogz, lancimouspitt and 2 others
#37
Munjibunga said:
Young Female Bassist Wanted (san diego)

We are a band in need of a female bassist. Please be at 'least' 16 and be able to provide a picture of yourself. No Bass Skills required. We have a 16 year old female singer, a 40 year old male drummer, and a 38 year old male guitarist. We have transportation. We have our own touring van that has no windows in the back. Hope to hear back from you.
Click to expand...
Wow, not creepy at all.
 
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#38
Maybe not exactly humorous but... [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] ... I am totally guessing here but he might be off a bit on the asking price of 28K.

there are more pics in the ad..
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

I AM THE ONE AND ONLY OWNER OF A MAGNIFICENT 1964 ALL ORIGINAL VINTAGE PRE CBS CUSTOM COLOR FENDER JAZZ BASS IN OLYMPIC WHITE WITH MATCHING WHITE HEADSTOCK. I PURCHASED THIS INSTRUMENT BRAND NEW FROM JIMMY'S MUSIC STORE IN NYC. THE BASS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE FEW ORIGINAL PRE CBS CUSTOM COLOR BASSES THAT YOU CAN FIND IN SUCH GREAT CONDITION. MY SIX YEARS OF COLLEGE AND PROFESSIONAL CAREER PREVENTED FREQUENT USE OF THIS BASS. I STOPPED PLAYING THE BASS ALTOGETHER IN 1980 AND CAREFULLY STORED IT. THE BASS INCLUDES THE ORIGINAL CREAM COLORED TOLEX HARD CASE IN EXCELLENT CONDITION WITH THE ORIGINAL KEY FOR THE SPRING LOADED LOCKS. IN ADDITION IS THE OWNERS INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR THE BASS.THE NECK AND FRETS HAVE VERY MINIMAL WEAR. THE BACK OF THE BODY HAS SOME BELT BUCKLE PAINT DAMAGE AND OTHER SMALL NICKS WHICH ARE NOT AS BAD AS MOST BASSES THAT AGE. THE OLYMPIC WHITE PAINT HAS YELLOWED SOMEWHAT OVER THE YEARS. THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF THE 1964 JAZZ BASS IS THAT IT IS THE CULMINATION OF ALL THE IMPROVEMENTS MADE TO THE JAZZ BASS SINCE ITS INTRODUCTION IN 1960.
SPECIFICATIONS:
NECK BUTT DATE IS 7JAN64A . THE POTENTIOMETER DATES ARE: AUD-304-6403 WHICH TRANSLATES TO THE THIRD WEEK OF 1964.THE NECK PLATE SERIAL NUMBER IS L23347.THIS BASS HAS A ROSEWOOD FINGERBOARD WITH CLASSIC CLAY DOTS.
IF YOU ARE A SERIOUS BASSIST OR COLLECTOR LOOKING FOR THE CLASSIC SOUND OF AN ALL ORIGINAL VINTAGE FENDER BASS WHICH WILL INCREASE IN VALUE EXPONENTIALLY, THEN THIS BASS WOULD BE A SERIOUS CONSIDERATION.
PURCHASE MUST BE MADE IN PERSON WITH GUARANTEED PAYMENT IN CASH. CONTACT BY TELEPHONE ONLY . UNAVAILABLE BY E-MAIL. NO TEXTING.
 
#39
Vlasco said:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

""GENIUS SONGWRITER SEEKS HELP PROMOTING SPECIAL AND ORIGINAL MUSIC (philadelphia)


I have a very interesting and unique music that I would like to promote online. There are many people who feel that the music coming out today is boring and lame. This music could be a gold mine for someone who has skills marketing stuff online, doing promotion and reaching the right people.
I have a songwriting gift but I'm not good at the marketing promotion end. The right person who "gets it" could very well take it to the next level. If curios please call me at [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
ps I'm not bragging or egotistical don't let the title of this post confuse you. I just know I have a gift and it will go to waste if I don't find a partner to work with""
Click to expand...
At least she hasn't started referring to herself in the third person, so there's still hope.
 
#40
Here's another winner:

" i am a drummer without drums


i drummed for 10 years more or less. i am very adaptable. when i was young, my uncle drummed for long time but he lived in an apartment so his drums stayed in the basement in my house for 10 years (i was 12 yo to 22 yo had the drums in my home...).

Anyhow i play blues, jazz, all kinds of rock styles,... I sold my drums to go to china at the time, so when i returned here i have no drums.

i want to play shows now, pretty quickly.

dom
  • do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
post id: 4929195086


posted: 7 days ago"
 

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