Potential date wants to be bullied

[Gopherbassist]

Maaaaaaan. This is a weird one. I've been talking to someone online, things are going well. We get to the point where we're talking about interests, and they say they want to be bullied.

And like.

I don't know what that means. So I ask them to explain it, and they describe old fashioned movie and TV bullying. Slapping, headlocks, noogies, rope burns, loogies, wedgies. Even swirlies.

And just like.

shaging what? They said they think it's funny. And so I think maybe they mean, like, talking about it? Imagining it and describing it? Maybe that's funny. But no, they want someone to actually stick their head in a toilet.

Because it's fun.

The next thing that happened was they sent me a video of the kind of thing they wanted to do, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched that was supposed to be "funny." This thing just seemed mean in a really personal way. I laughed at a few moments but it was that weird, uncomfortable laughter. I've had that happen around other people, but never sitting alone in a room by my self. It was that awkward to watch.

I don't know man. People are really weird. Maybe they're trolling me to see what I say? I hope it's that.

Maybe someone here can explain what in the actual hell this means.

 

[Zooberwerx]

Does not merit any further exploration or embellishment. Use any and all block functions judiciously.

 

[Gopherbassist]

Does not merit any further exploration or embellishment. Use any and all block functions judiciously.

I'm considering it.

 

[2saddleslab]

If I received that video....................

 

[Formula73]

Nah...keep on looking.

 

[Stylee Mousse]

Not your thing (or mine). Pass

 

[markjazzbassist]

recommend them to therapy, sounds like they have some trauma that hasn't been dealt with properly

 

[bass player 53]

Maaaaaaan. This is a weird one. I've been talking to someone online, things are going well. We get to the point where we're talking about interests, and they say they want to be bullied.

And like.

I don't know what that means. So I ask them to explain it, and they describe old fashioned movie and TV bullying. Slapping, headlocks, noogies, rope burns, loogies, wedgies. Even swirlies.

And just like.

shaging what? They said they think it's funny. And so I think maybe they mean, like, talking about it? Imagining it and describing it? Maybe that's funny. But no, they want someone to actually stick their head in a toilet.

Because it's fun.

The next thing that happened was they sent me a video of the kind of thing they wanted to do, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched that was supposed to be "funny." This thing just seemed mean in a really personal way. I laughed at a few moments but it was that weird, uncomfortable laughter. I've had that happen around other people, but never sitting alone in a room by my self. It was that awkward to watch.

I don't know man. People are really weird. Maybe they're trolling me to see what I say? I hope it's that.

Maybe someone here can explain what in the actual hell this means.

I think they’re jerking your chain.
Please move on; you’re wasting precious life time.

 

[groovaholic]

Yup - that would make me uncomfortable too.
Follow your instinct and remove yourself from the situation.

Further, while I wouldn't ever want to shame a person for what they're into, there's no reason for you to be ambiguous:
"The bullying thing, even done for fun, doesn't work for me"

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Run unless crazy hot

 

[Saetia]

I hope you’re being trolled.

 

[Oddly]

You're clearly not into it.
Tell them that.
If they accept and respect that, see how things progress.
If they don't ( and I'm betting they won't), just walk away.
I've no idea what today's dating scene looks like,but there's gotta be regular normal folks out there, surely?

 

[Gorn]

Is this person hot?

 

[Greenman72]

Is this person hot?

This.

And have you actually met said person? Because you might be getting catfished or something.

But if (s)he is hot and really into it, maybe this is a way to live out some of your childhood (or adulthood) fantasies. You know?
Don't knock it 'til you try it! You only live once! (and all that other jazz)

 

[klyph]

I don’t know how old you are, but I noticed a real mean streak in pop culture comedy starting in the late 80’s early 90’s. I think a lot of kids brought up then or after have problems with appropriate behavior in interpersonal relationships.
I don’t think it’s universal, though. There are probably other cultural and societal issues at play, and I’m sure this particular kind of crazy is avoidable even if you’re thirty, as others here have suggested.
I’m sure she’ll be able to find what she’s looking for, and so will you, just not with each other. Physical attraction can really override sensible behavior, so you are right to nip this in the bud before meeting IRL.

 

[Gopherbassist]

Is this person hot?

Fairly so.

 

[MegaSwing]

In my limited world, it means ‘Don’t walk away. Run!!!’

You’ve been advised.

 

[Gorn]

Fairly so.

Does this person wanna meet up and get bullied, for lack of a better word, casually? Like you two get together and you bully this person? Or is it a kink and it turns them on? I've heard of worse. If it's not sexual, then that's really odd.

 

[SlowpokeJoe]

They want to be bullied? Give them a gig as a bassist for a bunch of primadonna guitarists.

 

[Sponson Thrisby]

If they're not serious, it's a weird joke. Probably best to avoid.
If they are serious, you'd be in for a world of crazy. Avoid.

Either way, bail out.