Potential date wants to be bullied

[Gopherbassist]

Does this person wanna meet up and get bullied, for lack of a better word, casually? Like you two get together and you bully this person? Or is it a kink and it turns them on? I've heard of worse. If it's not sexual, then that's really odd.

I can only guess that it's a kink. It is a new one to me if that's what it is.

 

[Gorn]

I can only guess that it's a kink. It is a new one to me if that's what it is.

I say give it a shot. Go out for a meal or drinks or whatever. Get to know each other. See if there's an attraction. Take it from there. Two adults having a good time with open communication and informed enthusiastic consent? Life is short. Go for it.

 

[Crusher47]

Weight?

 

[brstma]

I don’t know how old you are, but I noticed a real mean streak in pop culture comedy starting in the late 80’s early 90’s. I think a lot of kids brought up then or after have problems with appropriate behavior in interpersonal relationships.
I don’t think it’s universal, though. There are probably other cultural and societal issues at play, and I’m sure this particular kind of crazy is avoidable even if you’re thirty, as others here have suggested.
I’m sure she’ll be able to find what she’s looking for, and so will you, just not with each other. Physical attraction can really override sensible behavior, so you are right to nip this in the bud before meeting IRL.

I grew up in that era, and I totally agree that these things were fairly standard behavior back then, at least everywhere that I lived

But that would only be with friends or peers. It was never something that was done with a girlfriend or boyfriend.

So this seems like a strange request to me. But at least they’re upfront about it and didn’t surprise you with it later.

 

[Root 5]

You should give me their number —- just so I can be sure to avoid them!

 

[klyph]

But that would only be with friends or peers. It was never something that was done with a girlfriend or boyfriend

Yes, and I can see this sort of desire if someone is really missing camaraderie, laughter, the kind of things you might miss out on as an only child/growing up isolated etc. The problem is that “bullying” usually involves shame, coercion, and a little bit (or more) of sadism. Basing a relationship on those things doesn’t usually bode well. But heck, I’m single, so what do I know?

 

[SC Bassboy]

Everyone has a kink. Sometimes that kink is collecting beautiful bass guitars that you have lusted after since the teenage years.... sometimes it is not that. If you aren't comfortable, that's a hard line painted on the floor, not drawn in the sand.

 

[Low Main]

I would take the words "flanger", "slap", "double thumb", "bolt on", "neck plate", "control cavity" and "bit crusher" out of your profile.

If you replace them with "phaser", you might end up with Lieutenant Uhura.

 

[Cdnbassnut]

Buy them a pbass - tort/sunburst, a talk bass membership with the sig line”hates Mesa” and let the bully party begin.

JK.
I love TB.

 

[JamesGrant]

Nope nope. Nope.
BTW - how are the squirrels?

 

[backin82]

Weight?

This took me completely out, mid Jimmy John's sandwich bite. Thanks.

 

[Gopherbassist]

Weight?

Looks to be about 130lbs or so. Pretty small, but fit. Not neck heavy.

 

[Gopherbassist]

Yes, and I can see this sort of desire if someone is really missing camaraderie, laughter, the kind of things you might miss out on as an only child/growing up isolated etc. The problem is that “bullying” usually involves shame, coercion, and a little bit (or more) of sadism. Basing a relationship on those things doesn’t usually bode well. But heck, I’m single, so what do I know?

Single people know nothing. People in relationships also know nothing.

 

[Gopherbassist]

Nope nope. Nope.
BTW - how are the squirrels?

Still haven't seen one. They're both greedy and stealthy.

 

[Iristone]

Are we meant as part of their "play"?

 

[tpaul]

If you had enjoyed watching the video, I'd say go for it.

Since you found it uncomfortable to watch, I'd say thanks but not my thing, and move on.

 

[Fuzzbass]

Some people are into BDSM and other fetishes. I don't judge. Ppl can do what they like in private if it's mutually consensual. Having said that, I have zero interest in it.

Impossible to know whether she's serious or trolling. Either way: I'd probably bail on her immediately, but the polite thing to do would be honest and tell her "I find you attractive, but sorry, that stuff is a complete turn-off for me".

 

[MonetBass]

 

[Wood and Wire]

Maaaaaaan. This is a weird one. I've been talking to someone online, things are going well. We get to the point where we're talking about interests, and they say they want to be bullied.

And like.

I don't know what that means. So I ask them to explain it, and they describe old fashioned movie and TV bullying. Slapping, headlocks, noogies, rope burns, loogies, wedgies. Even swirlies.

And just like.

shaging what? They said they think it's funny. And so I think maybe they mean, like, talking about it? Imagining it and describing it? Maybe that's funny. But no, they want someone to actually stick their head in a toilet.

Because it's fun.

The next thing that happened was they sent me a video of the kind of thing they wanted to do, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched that was supposed to be "funny." This thing just seemed mean in a really personal way. I laughed at a few moments but it was that weird, uncomfortable laughter. I've had that happen around other people, but never sitting alone in a room by my self. It was that awkward to watch.

I don't know man. People are really weird. Maybe they're trolling me to see what I say? I hope it's that.

Maybe someone here can explain what in the actual hell this means.

If you're using the same profile picture, I'd guess they're going for a "Black Snake Moan" reference / vibe.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462200/?ref_=fn_t_1

No idea where on line you met this person (none of my business), but it sounds like they’re a Sub, looking for a Dom.

If that’s not your thing (which it clearly hasn’t been historically), politely say so, and move on; just rolling with it to see what happens is not going to be satisfying for either party - you’ll be out of your depth, and it’s neither fair, nor safe to fake it / “act” the part.

You really need to genuinely be that way inclined, and experienced, or dangerous accidents can happen (the number of people who die from a crushed windpipe, or brain damage from oxygen starvation, whilst trying out a choking fetish with no clue what they’re doing, is pretty scary).

Unless she’s just got a bit of a deviant sense of humour, and is trying to gauge how vanilla you are; it seems pretty clear what her tastes are : you should 100% politely decline, and move on, because if you try to meet up with her for a vanilla date, it’s only a matter of time before she coaxes you into her interests, and unless you’ve had a genuine change of heart by then, you’re putting both of you in a potentially dangerous situation.

 

[roccobass]

One more thing. I don't believe anyone else has mentioned. It's an ominous one too......

Be leery you're not being set up for something even more creepy, or worse, deadly.