jaywa said:
I've found that when I can hear more of a full band mix (even when some of my bandmates are not the strongest players), it helps me play more musically and better fit what I'm doing into the full band dynamic.
This. IME, "more of me mania" is the biggest problem affecting modern stages.
/RANT ON
There's a tendency amongst beginners and untrained musicians to play what they play, and expect the people around them to adapt. Little or no active listening involved. At that level of development, they simply don't understand that music is not an individual sport. Modern monitoring systems facilitate and even encourage this amateurish approach to making music, to the point that it's becoming prevalent even in professional circles. But the fact that something is prevalent, doesn't automatically make it RIGHT.
A person can play or sing with a surprising level of skill, without actually being a musician. Until they learn to listen to the big picture, and submit their contribution to the good of the music as a whole, they're just another wannabe. Speaking personally, any time I make a mistake that shows i'm playing for myself and not for the band, I feel mortified. The day that someone has to put brickwall limiter on my channel because I can't manage my own levels, I will slink away in shame.
This applies to every member of the band. Any singer who doesn't want BGV's in their monitor ("too distracting"), fails to understand that they are part of a collaborative vocal line. Any guitarist who carries too much amp and doesn't want to change their tone or level ("listen to how great that sounds soloed!"), fails to understand their role as part of a rhythm section. Ditto for drummers who can't adjust their dynamics to suit their surroundings, keyboard players who step on other people's notes, bassists who set "their" tone on stage rather than listening to how they sound out in the hall, etc.
I hate Aviom systems, not because there's anything inherently wrong with the technology, but because they encourage the whole isolated, de-humanized, click track-dominated process that is currently sucking the life out of popular music. I hate to say it, but these days I often hear far more passion, feel, dynamic control and musicianship when I'm mixing a world music act or listening to a classical music CD, than when I work with rock and pop bands.
How wrong is that? Rock music started out being about More. More energy. More feeling. More emotion. More rawness. It seems to me that we've lost our way, while those other guys still know how to listen to each other, and play together in an organic, cooperative way.
/RANT OFF
In order to answer his original question, the OP probably needs to manage the low end on his signal, work with the sound team to get excessive bass and low-mid clutter out of the Aviom feeds, consider getting new ear molds made (gaining or losing weight is all it takes to spoil the fit on your old ones), and/or check for bad drivers in his IEMs.
But he'd be light years ahead, if he could get with a team of musicians and technical people who really understand what it means to work together in front of a live audience, instead of being forced to try and replicate a studio isolation booth on stage.