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Proper Cheese and Cracker Assembly

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by tastybasslines, Aug 27, 2012.


  1. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    After much research, I've determined the proper cracker/cheese/meat configuration for cheese and cracker munchies. In most photos you will see the following setup.

    photobucket-40486-1346091610778.

    This is incorrect. This "stacking" method does not allow for the full flavors to be absorbed. Now look at the proper method.

    photobucket-32858-1346091592350.

    This may look unconventional, however when you bite into it, your tongue absorbs the full flavor of the cheese upon entry into the mouth. Instead of the cracker dominating the immediate sensation, and being overly loud to boot, the most important component, the cheese is noticed first. Also, with the cracker between the meat and the cheese, the crunch is noticed less and adds a nice texture when sandwiched in this manner.

    These conclusions have been reached after years of intense study.

    Opinions? How do you assemble yours?
     
  2. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Id argue your methods are impractical when it comes to serving.
    I dont think most people want to have to grab the meat & cheese.
    The cracker is the vehicle, or plate rather, much like the bread of a sandwich.
    I would suggest you layer thusly: Cracker > Meat > Cheese.
     
  3. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    Perhaps, but this is the pursuit of perfection we're talking about here!
     
  4. Dude. That is an inverted sandwich. A hciwdnas. It may be optimal from a flovor standpoint, but not from a keeping-grease-off-your-fingers standpoint. I'd go cracker-meat-cheese-cracker.
     
  5. Another aspect of trad stacking: The meat & cheese has a delay to it- RIGHT when you want it, there it is/save the best for last.
    Whatever the case, I say more research is imperative. ;)
     
  6. capnjim

    capnjim

    Mar 13, 2008
    Sir......please.....step away from the bong. Just put it down and nobody will get hurt.
     
  7. elgecko

    elgecko

    Apr 30, 2007
    Anasleim, CA
    When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box, they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. "Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter." But I like crackers man, that's why I bought it, 'cause I like crackers! I don't see a suggestion to put a Ritz on top of a Ritz. I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates! You've got no faith in the product itself.

    - Mitch Hedberg -
     
  8. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    Long Island, NY.
    I think Tasty has the best setup. I personally do a similar thing whenever I'm making up crackers for myself. That said, I agree it's not the best method if you're planning on serving them to guests.
     
  9. Passinwind

    Passinwind I am Passinwind and some of you are not. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Dec 3, 2003
    Columbia River Gorge, WA.
    Owner/Designer &Toaster Tech Passinwind Electronics
    Meat is not included anywhere in the description of cheese and crackers, nor in my execution thereof. Problem solved! ;)
     
  10. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    No, but a slice of pear or apple between some swiss and a cracker, mmm mmm good!
     
  11. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    I'm not agaisnt your experimentation, but I'm more of a traditional cracker-stacker kind of guy. As has been pointed out, the cracker is the vehicle and makes a better handle.
     
  12. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    In semi-related news...

    Last night, I mixed up some cream cheese and avocado with finely chopped tomato and serrano pepper. Spread on a Ritz, it was fantastic.
     
  13. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    Yes. But I'm more interested in the pursuit of the best combinations over clean eating. I'm willing to bet you eat your ribs with both hands like a true animal and don't cut it off the bone with a knife and fork...so in that same vein...
     
  14. Gaius46

    Gaius46

    Dec 15, 2010
    Ummm sounds good.

    We had fontina cheese and guava paste while sipping margheritas poolside last night
     
  15. HaMMerHeD

    HaMMerHeD

    May 20, 2005
    Norman, OK, USA
    Fontina cheese is nothing more than the coagulated exudate of the devil's belly button. It's taste is not to be endured, and it's foul odor simply cannot be countenanced.

    But related to tasty's discussion....while it your method has merit, it is impractical for service. Thus, the cracker becomes a delivery mechanism.
     
  16. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    With ribs, the bone is the vehicle (inedible vehicle, but vehicle nonetheless). It also depends on the ribs. Sometimes the meat on my babybacks doen't stay on the bone well enough to pick it up with my hands, so utensils are necessary.

    If meat-cracker-cheese works for you, go for it.
     
  17. Gaius46

    Gaius46

    Dec 15, 2010
    You forgot the margherita. Enough tequila makes anything taste good. Though honestly I like fontina cheese but that's just me.

    And nice word "exudate". I had to look it up.......
     
  18. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    That sounds delicious!

    Are you sure youre thinking of Fontina?

    Ive got a small block of Havarti in my fridge right now, to be eaten with my Triscuits!
     
  19. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    This thread fails to deliver the racism suggested in the title.
     
  20. HaMMerHeD

    HaMMerHeD

    May 20, 2005
    Norman, OK, USA
    Positive. I used some in some mac&cheese a couple years ago at the recommendation of a cheese shop person I trusted back then. It took days of airing out my house to remove that putrescence from the air. Ungoliant herself never left such a foul essence in her wildest fits of deviousness.
     

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