Question about Basses and Ex(s)

[buzzbass]

Ok so the short story is that I now find myself divorced after 26 yrs. Life is cool and I'm not suicidal, LOL. Here's the question. In our time together she gave me a 78 PBass, very clean condition, like new almost. She also gave me a used, but still sweet, Lakland 55-64. Trans white, ash, birdseye board, Basslines p'ups. Now she did surprise me with these as gifts, I found them and said buy this. No sentiment there, even though one was a christmas gift and the other a 10th anniv. Do I keep them or swap them out for something else, and why ? The Lakalnd gets played fairly regular, the P never gets touched. I have the P because that's what I played in HS and I wanted to have a recreation of that bass. I'm a 5 string guy. Before you ask, no I don't get sad/mad/nostalgic when I see or play them. So, what do you think ?

 

[DocTT]

If it were me, I'd think I'd have to consider them mine, whether I really wanted them or not (unless she wanted them). Seems fair, IMO.

 

[ruju]

I'd say their yours..sell the P if you never use it.

 

[buzzbass]

just to be clear the only reason this came to mind is that they were something that came from the Ex. Nobody has asked for anything back or anything like that.

 

[two fingers]

Keep the one you play. Sell the one you don't.

Honestly, that would be my answer even if there were no divorce story.

 

[Bassbeater]

Congratulations on your divorce. Keep them both, and buy a few more with the money you save being single. You already got rid of the dead weight in your collection.

 

[buzzbass]

Congratulations on your divorce. Keep them both, and buy a few more with the money you save being single. You already got rid of the dead weight in your collection.

LOL, be nice.

 

[Warpeg]

I was once in a very similar position. The bottom line is that I liked my stuff, so I kept it. If I didn't like my stuff, then I would have sold/traded the stuff away.

 

[JTE]

Been there, (26 years too), done that, kept the instruments. That was about 14 years ago, no regrets.

 

[oysteivi]

If you like them, keep them. They're your basses.

 

[ejaggers]

Congratulations on your divorce. Keep them both, and buy a few more with the money you save being single. You already got rid of the dead weight in your collection.

Now that's cold!!!
But possibly true.

I agree, keep and buy more.
And play the P for Pete's sake.

057912

 

[QweziRider]

So, what do you think ?

If they're working for you, keep and use them. Want something else and need to use them for trade/cash? Dump 'em.

 

[lfmn16]

Divorced after 17 years. Over that time she gave me a parts strat (very high end) and a Fender Deluxe Reverb Reissue. I sold that strat because I didn't play it. Kept the amp because I do. I'm just not a sentimental guy.

 

[whero]

Been married 35 years and my wife never bought me so much as a pick! But that's OK because she never complains when I buy something for myself.

To the OP, the basses were gifts - they're yours. Play 'em if you like 'em. Sell 'em if you don't.

 

[2tonic]

This brings to mind the old saw about why divorces cost so much.......










Because they're worth it!!!

 

[OnederTone]

I personally didn't have this problem... a) ex wife never bought me anything, b) my last wife is cool and wouldn't be salty (and for the record HAS bought me stuff... and she's awesome) but...

You've kept those instruments and have bonded with them... they're yours... then you have a new relationship and how they were acquired comes up... will that be awkward? What if your new relationship buys you a {insert name of dream bass} but you still pull out the Lakland or Fender... would that be awkward?

Personally... They're yours... no one would argue that... I'd be honest and say they were gifts from an ex, explain they're tools, not sentimental objects and that if they would cause any issues in your new relationship, you'd be open and willing to discuss options.

 

[Frank77]

I understand where you're coming from. When I got divorced, I got rid of the stuff my ex had given me that reminded me of her. If you don't have this problem, do with your basses whatever you wish - they're yours.

 

[Spent]

Two things come to mind...

1. My wife and I just hit 26 years this month. Should I worry?

2. I'm sure there's a good reason for it, but I'd be hard pressed to give up on someone who buys me basses.

That being said, they're yours. Play or sell, it's your choice.

 

[mdogs]

Been divorced a few years, do whatever the f*** you want!!!! There will come a time when you will want to do whatever you are sure she doesn't want you to do just for spite. When you have reached that point, you will truly be free.

 

[TheReceder]

If you have room.. Keep all the basses you can... Since you apparently have an amicable separation... I'd play whatever gift she'd given anytime she was there to see you play. Not to rub her face in it... but if anything she was at one time cool enough to give you some cool stuff. Why not say thanks for the good times, and get over the bad.

treat the basses like kids that you got sole custody of, and if she wants visitation she has to come and see you play.