Quitting / Firing via Text Message Acceptable Now?

[fu22ba55]

I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

 

[IanStephenson]

acceptable: No
Done: Yes

It burns a bridge more than necessary, but if its burned its burned. A Phone call is at least a bit personal.

It does have the advantage of not wasting someones time - I'd be really annoyed to load up drive an hour to Rehersal, just to be told to drive home and unload.

 

[3Liter]

This has been acceptable for.some time now. Plenty of threads on it.

Frankly for as many awkward "how do I deal with this situation" thread no activity seems more ripe for text quitting/firing than a band situation.

 

[dangevans]

Not sure if it is acceptable, but it is really the sign of the times. So many people cannot, or will not, communicate like humans anymore whether it be a situation like this or just in general.
For example: Those of you on facebook (I am not), how many of your "friends" would you really be able to have a face-to-face, meaningful conversation with in person? Probably not many.

 

[lfmn16]

Firing by text is a punk move. I’m not saying it has to be in person, especially if the situation could lead to blows, but at least pick up the phone. I’d say the same thing with quitting. At least call someone to tell the band.

I don’t see the point in dragging the whole band to rehearsal though. I’ve been in bands where members had a 45 minute drive. I’d be pissed if I drive 45 minutes just for someone to quit.

 

[jmattbassplaya]

I think it’s perfectly reasonable.

I’ve quit all but one group in person, and typically those situations end up with what was going to be a short, 5 minute convo lasting a couple hours - not to mention the time lost driving to and from the place.

In my last group, I tried to give my notice via calls but no one answered so I sent out a group text, told them the news, and invited anyone to call who wanted to. Only one person got back to me. Personally, I see that more as a mark on them than on me. As someone else said, it’s a sign of the times.

 

[Oddly]

This is probably gonna divide mainly on age lines, but as an over-50, I find it unacceptable, but agree it's more often done than not nowadays.

 

[Nev375]

I'm 50 and rather introverted. I find it acceptable but in poor taste.

Any big news or communications ought to be delivered via phone or face to face.
Vocal inflections and tone carries a lot of information that is lost over text.

 

[Dirk Diggler]

No way, that's the ultimate chicken sh*t way to do things.
Face to Face, put on your big person pants and communicate.
If you can text, you have a phone, use it for what it was meant for.

That said if I were getting fired, and they did it by text, I would consider it prevention from future problems.

 

[Leigh Semmens]

Personally, Face to face is the only "right" way to do it. Yes, a text message does get the point across, but....it also builds a huge brick wall between the person doing the quitting/firing than would otherwise have never been built. Who knows you might find that you need that person in the future for a reason, not necessarily related to the reason for quitting/sacking in the first place. I'd go so far as to say NEVER burn bridges, they might just be useful in the future.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

Not here. I’ve always viewed my musical life as a professional, and the bands that I am in are businesses. For me it is poor form to hide behind technology to avoid face to face interactions for decisions that effect people’s lives.

Emails, about a scheduling, meetings, gigs, gig song lists, gig attire, technology is a god send. Other than that, any personnel issues such as , hiring, firing, pay being docked, should be done in person.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

Firing by text is a punk move. I’m not saying it has to be in person, especially if the situation could lead to blows, but at least pick up the phone. I’d say the same thing with quitting. At least call someone to tell the band.

I don’t see the point in dragging the whole band to rehearsal though. I’ve been in bands where members had a 45 minute drive. I’d be pissed if I drive 45 minutes just for someone to quit.

True, but a face to face with the BL would work. They get paid to deal with those sort of things.

 

[MJ_Sotti]

Well, I'm going to be giving my one month notice soon...problem is, we're busy and I like the workload. Big problem with the BL, but I knew what I was joining when I did. As we got busier it got worse. Though it is '80s stuff, it was done with a little kick...that's not as important as it was, it's now the "show".

The kicker was, when he either "fired" the drummer that I was totally locked in with or the drummer "quit" (according to the drummer...chicken egg) they ego'd the situation into what it is. We brought drummers in, he wanted our "input" and of course my pick, the right pick, was ignored. BL: "There was no vote, I made the pick". Totally changed the framework. But hey, he's got vistalites with lights in them, so there's that.

So I'll do it face to face, and send a follow up e-mail

And as long as we're talking tech...one of the things that drives me nuts is the "send us video and/or recordings of you playing, your bio" stuff regarding auditions. I think that's a lazy and cowardly way to filter people out due to looks, body type or age. You can even look up people to see if they align with a bands political views.

People today just don't have the capacity to be uncomfortable anymore. You go and audition, you either get it or you you don't. That takes balls. Same with people coming in.

We all had to put up with the sometimes uncomfortable situations when people came in that were not what you were looking for...were either bats==t or just talked way more game than they were, or just not a right fit.

I understand that it can save time...but it's part of the stuff musicians should have to go through

 

[Max Bogosity]

That’s a solid “it depends.” If some guys I jammed with three times text to say not to come back, that’s ok. If a band I played with for ten years does the same, no. It’s a different kind of relationship.

 

[40Hz]

Nobody owes you face-to-face "closure" when a relationship is ending. Sometimes it feels safer or "cleaner" to terminate a relationship, at arm's length, by text message.

Safer? Seriously? This is about quitting a band, not ending a physically abusive relationship with a borderline psychotic ex-SO.

 

[OptimalOptimus]

Not here. I’ve always viewed my musical life as a professional, and the bands that I am in are businesses. For me it is poor form to hide behind technology to avoid face to face interactions for decisions that effect people’s lives.

Emails, about a scheduling, meetings, gigs, gig song lists, gig attire, technology is a god send. Other than that, any personnel issues such as , hiring, firing, pay being docked, should be done in person.

Affect other people live ? It is a job … you quit you get replace … simple as that.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

Our brains are all wired differently, and we each have our own preferred communication style. Some people prefer written communication to verbal, especially for topics that might be emotional or controversial. Some people thrive on conflict; other people avoid conflict.

I totally get why, if someone is quitting your band (or you are the person doing the quitting) you would want the opportunity to look that person in the eye, tell them what you really think, and get "closure" on the relationship. But think of it this way: If the person would rather end the relationship by text than face-to-face, then that should say to you, maybe they don't want to give you that opportunity for closure? Maybe they don't trust you, they don't feel safe, or they simply don't see any value in a face-to-face confrontation.

Nobody owes you face-to-face "closure" when a relationship is ending. Sometimes it feels safer or "cleaner" to terminate a relationship, at arm's length, by text message.

For that matter, you could just disappear in the wind and not say anything to anybody if you are feeling that “unsafe”. Heaven forbid they have your phone number.

Seriously, in 50+ years of being a musician, I have never been in a situation where I felt uncomfortable with severing business relationships. If I every felt unsafe, threatened or abused, or where several band mates are unstable, I’d be gone in heart beat. Mostly, my relationships in a band, the people I swap spit and sweat with, it’s vitally important to have a good positive relationship with all members and work at it diligently.

 

[OptimalOptimus]

No way, that's the ultimate chicken sh*t way to do things.
Face to Face, put on your big person pants and communicate.
If you can text, you have a phone, use it for what it was meant for.

That said if I were getting fired, and they did it by text, I would consider it prevention from future problems.

Our phone is a computer with the option to call …

 

[Bruiser Stone]

I'd go so far as to say NEVER burn bridges, they might just be useful in the future.

I’m 42 and probably on the cusp between generations represented here in the TB demographic, but I will 100% say that the old school way of doing this is the way to go. It’s not the way it will be done 10 years from now, but it’s better to look someone in the eyes and perceive their intonation and body language. It’s why I’m not a fan of Zoom court hearings when arguing contentious issues. Something is lost without physical proximity. People are expendable when they are represented by key characters. Bridges are indeed too valuable to burn. Even when it seems someone is laughably clueless now, in a few years, they may have an entirely different perspective, and the care and tact we extend now could pay unforeseen dividends in the future.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

Affect other people live ? It is a job … you quit you get replace … simple as that.

You have 5 gogs lined up with $25,000 of revenue on the line in the next 2 week and you telling me it’s acceptable to send a text the day before to say “I quit”?

Sure I can be replaced. What about the guys you just jobbed? Sorry, it’s a business to me. One should act like it.