Quitting time...cancel gig?

[basslyon]

If you booked the gig, i'd fire the other 3 members and take the gig with new members. But thats only because I'm a prick

 

[boristhespider9]

Far from it. It wasn't always this bad. When I joined, I was the new guy with no experience. I worked my tail off to get up to speed and stay ahead of expectations. I slowly assumed ALL responsibilities of managing the band: marketing and promotion, producing demos, managing the song list to make rehearsals more productive searching for gigs, you name it and I did it. After one year, we were gaining momentum and finding gigs, everybody was happy...then the bipolar drummer flaked out. Another year of rotating drummers before landing a rock solid drummer that made us a better band. Everybody was happy, music was tight, gigs were good, starting to book better venues and build a following. Then the lead guitar player flaked out.

It just so happened that the singer's brother was back in town, divorced and unemployed. Although he was of practice, he had the time and desire to get up to speed and take over the lead guitar spot. We rearranged the song list to play to our strengths, and we were able to keep things rolling. The overall vibe was better than ever. About a year ago, it was becoming obvious he couldn't retain any songs unless we played them as a band every week. Once the lack of preparation began surfacing at gigs, the drummer began taking issue. Things came to a head yesterday. Today I decided to walk away.

We had a lot of laughs, played some good music to good crowds at increasingly better venues. The good has far outweighed the bad, but it's time for me to move on. So no, it wasn't a waste of time.

All bands have a lifespan and this variation of your band appears to have reached the end. As others have said, clear communication with the venue about the basic reason for the cancellation and the fact that you want to work together with the venue in the future with a new and improved product should go a long way. It sounds to me that the pain of working in this environment is not worth the $350 and the potential of really hurting your credibility with a luckluster show. I'd think the owner would then be more skeptical of booking your future bands.

 

[MDBass]

Regarding the drummer, that's correct. He's as frustrated as I am with guitarist's inability to remember songs. I mean, it's ridiculous. Band rehearsals are highly unproductive because the guitar player can't get through a song without a mulligan (or three). I have been more patient with the situation. The drummer has a lot of demands on his time from work and family, and is simply not going use that time sitting in my basement while the guitar and singer work out 3-chord songs we've been playing for years. I don't blame him. There have been plenty of discussions here on TB about the meaning of practice vs. rehearsal. The drummer has drawn a line in the sand, and the guitar player and singer think he is being unreasonable. Chicken vs. egg.We've already gone through a revolving door of drummers, and I'm not doing that again.

I don't think I can put a new band together that quickly, though I do have guys lined up to start a new project. It's a possibility, but we haven't even met in person yet - much less jammed together. I would hate to gig prematurely, have things go sideways, and mess up a chance to put together a really solid band with loftier goals and expectations. I have hand-picked these guys from other bands based on their talent and their desire to do things the right way. Let's just say it looks good on paper, but I don't want to rush it.

I don't have much of a relationship with the venue, to be honest. We have played one gig there, which I booked myself. The owner liked us enough to give us three more gigs over the next 6 months. Down the road, I could get around any hard feelings from the owner by having another band mate book the gig. It's more about my own personal feelings of professionalism and integrity. To me that means putting 100% effort into everything we do -- half-assing it through one final gig to save face is not my idea of a good time, though I would do everything possible be prepared, promote the gig, etc.

The singer sent me an email earlier today, acknowledging the need to discuss the issues without pointing fingers...then proceeded to point the finger squarely at myself and the drummer for basically expecting too much. No apology for losing his cool on stage. He added, "we are some past primetime bar musicians just having fun and making a couple bucks. If someone thinks they are above that please move on."

Done. Moving on.

Since when is it fun to be too incompetent to properly set up your own gear, and so massively insecure about it that you pubicly berate a friend for showing you how to do it correctly?

 

[Session1969]

Yeah, your singer told you that he and the guitar player aren't serious and would rather have you leave than improve themselves. I'd take that opportunity to leave , for sure. You picking the members of your new project sounds more positive.

 

[tradernick]

It sounds like a big waste of 5 years. I can't imagine how after all that time you can't pull off a great show. This whole thread makes absolutely no sense to me.

Thread makes perfect sense to me. He has explained the situation and these things happen in bands where guys are supposed to be friends, doing it for fun.

The consensus here is that you should walk away and I agree. Ask for a meeting with the club, explain the situation and do what you can to mitigate any damage. A month is enough time for them. If the meeting goes horribly wrong and they're freaking out, maybe reconsider if the place is important to you.

You don't want to do this gig in the headspace you're in. You're going to be dreading it. From what you've told us, that's not what this band is supposed to be about. Poach the drummer and get a new band.

 

[EdwardofHuncote]

I'm kinda' in the same boat, only been there 20 years. Over the last 5 years or so, the relationship with the band leader (and I use the term loosly) has deteriorated to the point I don't care to even be around them. It came to a drug and alcohol fueled fiasco last November when they began cursing at the rest of us while on stage.

Last gig on the calendar is late February. I don't plan to play anymore beyond that... just finish up and walk away... there just too many other gigs out there that are fun and don't involve crazy people.

 

[electracoyote]

The problem is, I have a gig scheduled one month away. It is a new venue for us, and I hate to renege on a commitment -- it took me 3+ years to get us into this place, and I don't want to burn bridges. I have zero confidence that we will solve these issues in the next few weeks. I don't see us rising from the ashes and putting on one final epic show. My gut feeling is that given the circumstances, I'd rather cancel than give an inevitably crappy performance.

What would you do? It seems like a month is adequate time for the venue to find a replacement band. And if it sways your opinion any, we're talking about a $350 dive bar gig.

I agree with those saying airing dirty laundry in public is the last straw. I would be making plans to walk too.

However, the businessman in me says you need to maintain a good working relationship with any and all venues left on the schedule before you wrap up this chapter, assuming you want to continue in the weekend cover band format. If you can cancel a date without any fallout, then do it, but my experience is venue managers hate cancellations because it saddles them with the extra burden of filling the date with another band. It may be a dive gig, but you said you've been working on breaking into it for 3+ years, so there must be some value there.

Pick a date on the calendar that lets you step away from your current band with minimal or no damage to relationships and reputation with venues. If it were me, I would avoid being specific with your band mates as to why, because the ensuing debate and drama serves no purpose whatsoever, and people may beat you to the punch and quit premature. Maintain good relationships with any members you may want to work with in your next cover project. It sounds like you're done with the singer and guitar player, and rightfully so, but can you salvage the others and forge ahead?

 

[Toddcaster64]

I'm admittedly psychotic but I'd make it my life's obsession (or at least the next month's) to get another band together and play the gig without them. You booked it, it's your deal. The idea that they could still exert enough influence such that you either have to play with them, or abandon the gig, is sickening. Screw that.

 

[electracoyote]

If the meeting goes horribly wrong and they're freaking out, maybe reconsider if the place is important to you.

The problem is, sometimes they don't freak out openly, they just quietly accept the bad news and go about their business. But it's still a burden, another chore added to their already busy agenda, they form the negative opinion just the same, and the bridge is burnt. I know many venue managers like that.

 

[tradernick]

The problem is, sometimes they don't freak out openly, they just quietly accept the bad news and go about their business. But they form the negative opinion just the same, and the bridge is burnt. I know many venue managers like that.

Yeah, that's a risk. I'm just thinking that doing the gig with the band as it is now is a soul-killer. Standing on stage and hating it is a bad feeling. Maybe try for a new crew, like Toddcaster said.

 

[JaredBT]

Well, things have finally come to a head, and I've decided it's time to walk away from my cover band of five years. Main reasons are (1) sub-par guitar player who is incapable of practicing effectively and is chronically unprepared for rehearsal and gigs (2) drummer who refuses to participate in weekly "let's relearn the same songs on the list for the 100th time" sessions and (3) know-it all singer who is satisfied with mediocre performances. At last night's gig, the consequences of these issues were on prominent display in front of a room full of 300 people: sloppy-as-hell playing, PA problems on-stage and FOH, bad attitudes. I've tried the make the best of it the past couple years, but when the singer got condescending and disrespectful over an issue with his inadequate PA and how to run it...I've had enough. I disagreed that pegging the meter into the red on his mic's input gain is NOT the right way to set-up the PA, and he tore into me onstage -- with hot mics. Easy decision, I'm done.

The problem is, I have a gig scheduled one month away. It is a new venue for us, and I hate to renege on a commitment -- it took me 3+ years to get us into this place, and I don't want to burn bridges. I have zero confidence that we will solve these issues in the next few weeks. I don't see us rising from the ashes and putting on one final epic show. My gut feeling is that given the circumstances, I'd rather cancel than give an inevitably crappy performance.

What would you do? It seems like a month is adequate time for the venue to find a replacement band. And if it sways your opinion any, we're talking about a $350 dive bar gig.

I feel ya man... had a guitard pull the same crap on me bad. Drummer, would just say to me "you" guys gotta figure out your differences.... felt like I was in the twilight zone - this after months of he (the drummer) enduring the same crap from the guitard and not happy about it. After I walked I found out the guitard had loaned the drummer a chunk of doe to buy some equipment. I new something was going on that I was never going to be able to get a handle on. Bummer cuz we were damn good.

 

[getrhythm]

Recruit the drummer for future projects, get another guitarist/singer (or both), tell the venue there have been some personnel changes and that you can vouch for the quality and professionalism and do the gig with the new band. Good luck!

 

[SteveHeissner]

You may want to take some advice from a George Thorogood song title. "That's it, I Quit".

 

[OldPlucker]

Time to say AMF (Adios Mother F).

 

[timber22]

I agree. It's time to dissolve the band. I've been through a similar situation. This is supposed to be fun and it sounds like this has reached the point of no return.
If you have to cancel the gig, can you line up a good band to take your place? I think it is always better to give a venue owner a good option. Basically do the re-booking work for him. That's better than saying you need to cancel and now he needs to figure out how to fill that slot himself.

 

[baileyboy]

What would you do?

I would stay with them. After all, a gig is a gig, bad or good. But in the meantime, start looking for another gigging situation. I've made the mistake of leaving a gigging band before I had another lined up. What I learned from that is that I'd rather be making money with a sub-par band than not gigging at all.

 

[dheafey]

The singer has already made it clear: both the guitarist and he want to hack around while you want to be a professional, to make something of this. There's a mismatch in goals. Screaming at you on stage is yet another example of unprofessionalism. I would've done the gig and ended it the second I was packed up, but kudos to you for trying to make it work and hanging in there; you have way more patience than me.

Regarding the gig, try to put a band together if you can. Barring that, cancel but have a conversation with the owner. Offer to find a band amongst your myriad of contacts. As this is a new relationship, the owner may not take you up on it, but could appreciate the effort to help, thus maintaining a good relationship. More than likely, he will call one of the dozens of bands he has on speed dial.

 

[mikeyjm2]

And if it sways your opinion any, we're talking about a $350 dive bar gig.

Like several others have said, the being torn into on stage would have been it for me. But for a $350 bar gig (not that I'm above doing them myself - we do them with some regularity) I don't think cancelling with a month's notice is going to harm your reputation irreparably. I'd actually say that doing it with as much notice as possible is the responsible way to go.

 

[vilshofen]

Confucius say, "Who needs this?"

 

[Joe Nerve]

IME, with cover gigs a bad attitude can be as bad, or even worse than, a bad band.

I've done shows with bands that were unrehearsed and train wrecking all over the place, that went over excellently. And I've played near perfect shows with awesome musicians that went horribly. While I know it's easier said than done, I'd suggest practicing not giving a crap and just doing the show for fun. Be as prepared as you can be, know that you did your part to the best of your ability, let go... And have fun.

If you're enjoying yourself, people will pick up on that. If you're miserable, they'll pick up on that too.