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Random poetry - opinions?

To the OP i thought your poem was fine. Thing is, as i know from my own experience, poetry can mean lots of different things to different people. I write poems, but most i dont share with others because they are just an expression of my inner thoughts and feelings. These are things i need to just get out of my head and onto paper as a way to deal with them. AT the end of the day if you are happy with what youve written then that is all that matters.
I do find though that if you revisit what you have written latter on then you can edit it without the emotion of what you have written getting in the way.
If others cant understand or enjoy my poetry then thats fine because im not writing it for them...

Pretty much +1 to all of that.

I express myself through many different outlets, and a lot of it is just for personal expression, not for other people's interest. When I am creating music, writing lyrics, poetry, doing anything artistic, I usually find things to be better off when done for noble reasons as opposed to being forced, or for alternate motives.

That being said, there are always ways to improve your stuff, not only with practice, but by looking/reading other people's stuff and learning some techniques.
 
from what means do ponderings conviene and form coheriences seemingly unforseen?

what what void are such intangibles employed, to penetrate our minds and within which, be toyed?

thoughts alsew in this organ of pensive, formed from a string of fantastic consequences...

thats all i got
 
Cloony The Clown by Shel Silverstein
I'll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, "Go back to bed!"
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, "I'll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown."
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With "Hah-Hah-Hahs" and "Hee-Hee-Hees."
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, 'cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT -
I'M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT."
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.

THAT is TOP NOTCH POY-Ms
 
I don't write poetry for the same reason that I don't paint or sculpt or dance; it takes years of effort and practice to become truly good at such things and I figure it's wiser to concentrate my time on music and become as good as I can be in that particular area of "fine arts". I wouldn't recognize good poetry if it slapped me (like the wind :smug:) but I write many socio-political papers and essays each week and have done so for the past 15 years, so that occupies my "writing" area, and I've gotten pretty good at that, too.

There is a story about how if you had one billion monkeys typing on one billion typewriters for one billion years you'd at some point type out a Shakesperean play. My artistic writing is like one monkey. 15 minutes, tops. :rolleyes:
 
Chocolate Rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain
A baby born will die before the sin

Chocolate Rain
The school books say it can't be here again
Chocolate Rain
The prisons make you wonder where it went

Chocolate Rain
Build a tent and say the world is dry
Chocolate Rain
Zoom the camera out and see the lie

Chocolate Rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say

Chocolate Rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
Chocolate Rain
Makes us happy 'livin in a gate

Chocolate Rain
Made me cross the street the other day
Chocolate Rain
Made you turn your head the other way

Chocolate Rain
quickly crashing through your veinshistory
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again


Chocolate Rain
Seldom mentioned on the radio
Chocolate Rain
Its the fear your leaders call control

Chocolate Rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names
Chocolate Rain
Say it publicly and you're insane

Chocolate Rain
No one wants to hear about it now
Chocolate Rain
Wish real hard it goes away somehow

Chocolate Rain
Makes the best of friends begin to fight
Chocolate Rain
But did they know each other in the light?

Chocolate Rain
Every February washed away
Chocolate Rain
Stays behind as colors celebrate

Chocolate Rain
The same crime has a higher price to pay
chocolate Rain
The judge and jury swear it's not the face

Chocolate Rain
Dirty secrets of economy
Chocolate Rain
Turns that body into GDP

Chocolate Rain
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
Chocolate Rain
But test scores are how much the parents make

Chocolate Rain
'Flippin cars in France the other night
Chocolate Rain
Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai

Chocolate Rain
'Cross the world and back its all the same
Chocolate Rain
Angels cry and shake their heads in shame

Chocolate Rain
Lifts the ark of paradise in sin
Chocolate Rain
Which part do you think you're 'livin in?

Chocolate Rain
More than 'marchin more than passing law
Chocolate Rain
Remake how we got to where we are.















































































Well... somebody had to!































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