I don't find that to be the case at all... but I've been a long time user.
Stereo will help with that, 'cus mono IS pretty sterile. So will adding some effects into your mix.
You definitely do NOT want to let FOH control your IEM's.. that's a disaster waiting to happen.
It's just like listening thru headphones only you get to choose what you want in it, and (with stereo) where you want to place it in the mix.
Personally, I don't think anyone should expect a studio-level CD mix in your IEM's. I don't put toms or OH's in mine. Don't need them to do my job.
IME. missing "all of the din, natural reverb and ambient overtones." is the best part of using IEM's. You exclude all the garbage that prevents accurate monitoring when using a wedge