• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join freeLog in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Relationship Q

Oct 9, 2007
2,819
146
Chicago - LA - Rome - Dallas
Disclosures
Endorsing Artist : Genz Benz
How many arguments can you have with your g/f of who is 110% Italian??

GEEZ!!!!!!!


So....right now we havent talked since this past thursday. Online, or text....

I'm making sure I dont obsess, if it's over, then it's over.:bawl:

But..if it's not....do I try to talk to her or do I wait for her to want to speak with me?

As typical, its the guys fault.:hmm::bawl::crying::atoz:

A couple questions answered:
1. Do I love her? YES!:hyper:
2. Could I be with her, even with the arguing?? YES!!:hyper::hyper:
3. .crap I forgot what the last q was..but the answer is YES!:hyper:


NO PICS cause I dont want any of youse' guys tryin ta get in on dis!:spit:
 
Armchair psychologist.....women typically like to share feelings/emotions, and have an emotional exchange with someone. If she is fighting with you all the time, she is looking for an emotional exchange and feels like this is the best, or maybe only, way to get it from you.

-Mike
 
Walk away. Seriously. If you guys are doing this during the "honeymoon stage" it's not going to get any better. Find someone more compatible so that you can actually enjoy your time together. My .02

*edit....Oh, your answers to questions 1,2, and 3 will probably change as time goes on.
 
Thanks guys for the help.

Imma give it a serious go.

If it don't work out, theres a strip club on the north side that I'm sure has an honest hard working young lady whos putting herself thru medical school and is looking for a nice guy....................or.........I can buy another bass amp.
 
Walk away. Seriously. If you guys are doing this during the "honeymoon stage" it's not going to get any better. Find someone more compatible so that you can actually enjoy your time together. My .02

*edit....Oh, your answers to questions 1,2, and 3 will probably change as time goes on.

this, plus the BS associated with cultural/ethnic stereotypes, if she argues with you a lot, it might not be the fact that she's "Italian", it may just be because she's just not for you, I met a girl that drank like a fish and it got in the way of things between us, I asked her why she feels the need to drink so much and she replied "because I'm Irish", at that point I just told her to look into some AA or something and never bothered contacting her again. It's the 21st century - can we seriously just drop that crap already?
 
My wife is 1st generation Central American call it stereotyping if you will but she is a fireball. She doesn't hold back, if something is on her mind she says it but then she is done. I on the other hand used to sulk about things for days. I would be miserable and she honestly couldn't understand why.
We have come a long way in 31 years. She holds back a little more and I speak up a lot more and don't sulk anymore. It has been gradual.
I remember one time she was carrying on as we were driving in the car and I had enough. I called her name loud enough to get her attention. When she paused I just said "Shutup." Guess what, she did shutup, it was a quiet awkward ride after that. Telling my wife to shutup is not the best way to handle things and I have never done it again. But that was one more step on our journey. When I ask her to give it a rest she does, not right away always but eventually. She might have several stops and starts and each time I have to tell her "Hey I'm not ready to talk about this right now. Give it a rest." Then when I am ready I will talk. The trick is to not blow her off but take what she says seriously and if I say I will get back to her I do. But I do it when I'm ready.
Now we are not afraid to fight, but it almost never ends in anger, we may get a little worked up but we talk about things until we are done. And that happens faster all the time.
We also laugh about things that used to drive us crazy.
She just walked by and I told her what I was writing about. She said "That was years ago," and just kept walking. :cool:
I say if she is worth it then stick with it. Any deep relationship will take time and work. If you prefer staying in the shallow water then walk away when it gets tough. And any relationship will challenge you eventually. If you like deep water then don't be afraid to dive in over your head.
 
this, plus the BS associated with cultural/ethnic stereotypes, if she argues with you a lot, it might not be the fact that she's "Italian", it may just be because she's just not for you, I met a girl that drank like a fish and it got in the way of things between us, I asked her why she feels the need to drink so much and she replied "because I'm Irish", at that point I just told her to look into some AA or something and never bothered contacting her again. It's the 21st century - can we seriously just drop that crap already?

Thing is though that ethnic stereotypes do exist, and there are plenty of people in every ethnicity that play into them enough (either intentionally or not) to keep them around.

That girl you're talking about though was an alcoholic though, Irish or not.
 
Many stereotypes are so broad that it seems everyone fits. Take African-American (myself) for example. People think it is hilarious when I sit down on a hot day and slay a juicy watermelon.. Am I conforming to some stereotype? No... Watermelon is delicious. I don't care who you are. Same goes to for fried chicken. It is amazing.
 
Many stereotypes are so broad that it seems everyone fits. Take African-American (myself) for example. People think it is hilarious when I sit down on a hot day and slay a juicy watermelon.. Am I conforming to some stereotype? No... Watermelon is delicious. I don't care who you are. Same goes to for fried chicken. It is amazing.

Mother****ing A-Men.

edit:

NSFW language.
 
Many stereotypes are so broad that it seems everyone fits. Take African-American (myself) for example. People think it is hilarious when I sit down on a hot day and slay a juicy watermelon.. Am I conforming to some stereotype? No... Watermelon is delicious. I don't care who you are. Same goes to for fried chicken. It is amazing.

Of course. I can agree on the deliciosness, even as a WASP. However, I did have a friend that came from a rural white community, and he played to the black stereotypes at any chance. He had a rough time in his hometown, so I think he was trying to identify with something. It was annoying, but I learned to deal with it.
 
I think there is some value in some stereotypes. It's more cultural than the actual color of your skin though. I attended a conference last week where one of the segments was about personality types. The speaker talked about how where you live in the world affects your personality. The example he gave was, generally speaking, the further north you go in North America, people are more transaction based. The farther south you go, people are more relationship based. He used business as an analogy.....making a deal in NYC is about having a phone call or meeting, ironing out the details, and then closing the deal. If you were to make a deal in Dallas, they want to get to know you first, take you out for dinner, show you around the town, then get around to making a deal. For more insight on this, check out the book Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands. I am reading it now. Very enlightening.

I've seen this in action many times since we moved to New England.

-Mike
 
Many stereotypes are so broad that it seems everyone fits. Take African-American (myself) for example. People think it is hilarious when I sit down on a hot day and slay a juicy watermelon.. Am I conforming to some stereotype? No... Watermelon is delicious. I don't care who you are. Same goes to for fried chicken. It is amazing.

Fried chicken isn't amazing, it's hazardous to your health. :D
 

Latest posts