Replaced

[pepj]

First off, this is why I dont like the BL concept. We aren't kids but this kind on control..likely born out of OCD traits... can be very dodgy.

Personally I ignore it and perversley I might consciously test it. But whilst I'll be 'easy' to work with, don't test my limit because I do have one.
So, I just look at it by thinking it will work out like that at some point anyway, so I just walk away with all my pride intact.
It stings...but it stings far far less when you rock up in new band with mature sensible people and create waves on the circuit over and above what the old unit could do.

Onwards and upwards.

 

[Jay Corwin]

Sometimes it's for the best regardless of how it ends. Find something that works better you.

Years ago I played with a BL that had similar issues. The arrogance level was off the charts, and he liked to talk to me like I wasn't a human being. This wasn't even a "big" band in my neck of the woods. Totally unwarranted to act that way towards others in any event. I was "fired" after I quit. The guy even gave me the "good luck playing in this town" kind of BS.

They are playing the same set 20 years later, and I turn down more gigs than I play.....because I'm a considerate person to other humans.

 

[Gizmot]

Life is too short to lose sleep or worry about something like this. Move on and find yourself a new opportunity. I predict that you’ll find something better

 

[pepj]

So Anyway, if you haven't been sacked from a band, just wait. It'll happen.

Many years ago, my BL was ill, so we weren't playing. Got a call from a BL who was kind of a joke in our circuit, bad band, lots of work. I took the gig.
He phone-fired me about 4 months later. He said I wasn't committed to all the gigs he had booked, even though I had played every one of them and wasn't working any other gigs.
A couple of day later it struck me that I'd been fired by the worst band on our circuit.
Made for a good story.

BTW, a few years later he hired me again and treated me like I was his prodigal son.

How does the worst band get lots of gigs?

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

How does the worst band get lots of gigs?

Crazy, right?
The BL was a hack guitar player who could sing a little bit. But he also was the hardest working guy off stage that I'd ever worked with.
He made calls all through the week letting people know where he'd be playing on the weekend. During our breaks he'd go work the room, and by the end of the night, he'd have chatted up everyone in the place. Most of the crowd was over 60, and they enjoyed the attention.
He could routinely deliver 40-50 people every night in addition to the venues regular crowd. This was pretty good for the Moose, Elk, Eagle and Legion halls that we were playing. If he knew someone had a favorite song, he'd dedicate it to them from the stage. Cheesy, but it worked.

Because of the steady work, he did have a pretty good backup band. I later realized that he'd routinely fire guys to prevent the band from getting any ideas about dumping him and starting out on their own. I don't think he realized that it was his personal connection and networking that made things work.

 

[pepj]

I can't get my head round how that all works

Worst band but pretty good backup band.
Bit of scummy BL who treats players poorly etc..
Guess the main points from that situation 'proves' punters and bookers know absolutely nothing about music, for the most part.
And we wonder why venues are struggling

 

[Jefenator]

If there's ever any kind of lesson I can profit from when someone else gets the call, I'll try to.
If it's mostly bogus power politics, then good riddance.

 

[Hawk620]

Maybe I've just been the lucky one but when something didn't seem right and a player who was pretty much the "we do things my way" type I always removed myself from consideration quickly. I'll give an example.

Trio wants bassist who can sing. I ask for a short list of tunes they want me to audition with. Guitarist says it's all simple stuff you know. I respond with maybe but I still need to know what songs and what key you play them in. So he sends me a short list but without the keys.

I show up early. Set up and we start off with something not on the list. OK, gimme a minute to work through the bridge. Then another and another not on the list. Familiar songs yet ones I'd not played through before and not all that simple. Then he just starts jamming on whatever pops into his head.

After about 30 minutes I unplug my bass, shut off my amp, and start packing up. He wants to know where I'm going and his excuse is this is how he always does gigs. He just starts playing and expects the bass and drums to keep up. OK, that works for you but not for me. Thanks but no thanks.

In my 50+ years of experience if it's not right it's never gonna get any better than not right.

 

[Bag of Lazers]

Many thanks for all the support. I love this community!

There’s another layer to this that irks me. I’ve discussed in other threads that I had carpal tunnel surgery recently. Leading up to the surgery they told me that they might get someone to fill in while I was out (they can play as a 2 piece), but that was temporary and they clearly stated they were holding my spot for me. I recovered 100% from the procedure in a month, but they’ve made the fill in the replacement anyway.

I’ve found another band but I know it won’t be a touring thing; just local shows like the others I play with. I love where I live but I miss playing out of town. Oh well.

 

[definenredefine]

Many thanks for all the support. I love this community!

There’s another layer to this that irks me. I’ve discussed in other threads that I had carpal tunnel surgery recently. Leading up to the surgery they told me that they might get someone to fill in while I was out (they can play as a 2 piece), but that was temporary and they clearly stated they were holding my spot for me. I recovered 100% from the procedure in a month, but they’ve made the fill in the replacement anyway.

I’ve found another band but I know it won’t be a touring thing; just local shows like the others I play with. I love where I live but I miss playing out of town. Oh well.

That's a real bummer.

 

[pepj]

Sneaky people.
Travelling to gigs is overated. Once in a while for a cool gig. The most I do now in 1hr..closer to 40mins, so they aren't considered local but people will follow us that far. And tbf, the amount of gigs in town I want to do is less than 5.

 

[RandomKaren]

I was in a lineup where BL (guitarist and PA owner) had a real personality conflict with the singer. After a weekend where band emails were flying backwards and forwards with them accusing each other of whatever I told the BL it was enough for me and I was leaving. Next he emailed me asking would I stay if the singer decides to leave, I say well ok, then he emails the whole band firing the singer with the excuse that bassist will only stay if singer goes. Making it my fault singer got fired. I moved on not long after. A few months ago singer appeared on my doorstep delivering my groceries which was awkward, but I grabbed the chance to explain what really happened. Musicians, eh.

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

I can't get my head round how that all works

Worst band but pretty good backup band.
Bit of scummy BL who treats players poorly etc..
Guess the main points from that situation 'proves' punters and bookers know absolutely nothing about music, for the most part.
And we wonder why venues are struggling

I guess most of my music buddies (me included) considered it the 'worst band' because of the BL. But with the steady work he provided, he was able to hire some competent players. Of course, he'd eventually let them go one by one to prevent a 'band' mentality. And some would leave on their own for other projects.
The venues were happy with their receipts at the end of the night. The crowd was friendly and there was never any trouble at his gigs.
One of the best guitarists I ever played with was in this band. He was in the early stages of narcolepsy and couldn't drive anymore. The BL would always arrange for his transportation. Even when he was starting to nod on stage, he never missed a lick.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Well, I just found out I got replaced in a band. This is not something that has happened often in the 25+ years that I’ve been playing, so it’s kind of under my skin. I’m just one in a growing line of bass players that this band has gone through. The BL is an OCD control freak so I figured it would happen eventually because while I am a team player, I’m also an adult who’s not making a bunch of money off the band so I don’t like being treated like an employee. I’m told the new guy rolls over pretty readily which should make the BL happy. That BL lied to the other member about he and I having a conversation regarding me leaving which is weak stuff in my book. Kind of a bummer because I really liked the music, and it was more active than my other bands. Me and the drummer are still friends so at least there’s that. I have other projects to work on but it’s still bugging me.

Just venting here, thanks bass buds.

Late to the thread - Hope this helps.

We're creatives; It's hard not to be sensitive.

Try to think of it like this. You know the BL is an OCD control freak, a situation you don't thrive under. Sounds like not a good fit from the get-go. Sounds like he did you a favor.

Also sounds like a s***-to-be-you problem with the BL. Maybe say a little prayer for his peace of mind.

In the meantime, I hope this helps you see it as a no need to provide free rent in your head situation. We've all got our flaws; Accept that and move onward & upward.

BTW, you'd love working with me on gigs where I pickup a guitar and front; I hire players I know will get the job done, and let them bring their own thing to the table. The music takes on much more of a life of its own this way.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Does he really have that kind of clout?

Those who say that almost never do by the simple fact that everyone else in the local scene knows they're a**h***s.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Bl better be careful! Good bass players are hard to find (they are working usually) There may come a time, no one is available!

Control freak BL's usually dig their own holes. Seen it happen time and time again, even got calls from a couple I won't work with again; neither will anyone else.

 

[PauFerro]

As someone who always seemed to have something bugging me for decades, I want to recommend a form of therapy that has stopped things from bugging me. It's called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy. You basically stimulate your mind bilaterally (left and right eye movement, or if you are really serious, with headphones and hand-held buzzers). Then you reflect on what is bugging you. For some reason, your brain reprocesses the situation positively, and you can feel like you can "put it to bed" for good.

There is a bit more to this than I've articulated here, but it's something you can self-administer.

Here is a book on it:
Amazon.com

Here is a bilateral stimulation video from YouTube:



People think it works because it simulations REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep when you process what happened for the day.

It is a good way to get rid of things that are bugging you by processing them positively.

 

[BassGuyFL]

I was recently unceremoniously dismissed ipfrom a band I was in for eight years. We had a few little tiffs and disagreements along the way, but I didn’t realize how deep the resentment was to me until I got fired. I found out that they were having secret meetings behind my back to conspire to get rid of me and it’s like well, good luck to you, you finally did. The problem is it was a very prominent band that was very lucrative so a large part of my income disappeared overnight. And then they can’t figure out why I don’t return any of their calls. It’s like hey you wanted to get rid of me, you get your wish. Don’t expect Xmas cards from me.

And as far as a concert of a band leader, it depends what level you’re at. If you’re just a few guys getting out of the play at the wing hut that’s OK if the band is a business generating a lot of money you definitely need somebody handling the business and running the show and doing all the legwork.