Rude to not take drinks?

[SAlcott]

"Can you just put (price of a drink) in the tip jar?"

 

[bikeplate]

Ive said it before and ill say it again. Booze is the biggest negative in our society. It finds many ways to ruin lives. Ruins your body, your mind, etc. drunk drivers, liver disease. Shall i go on?

On a gig i just say i dont drink. Ill take a water or coke

 

[bolophonic]

Let me ask you this, why do you think people seem offended?

What people are you talking about?

 

[GK Growl]

Your singer is going to become an alcoholic if he isn't one already. You are his ideal band.

I guess one way or the other it will all play out. Worrying about offending people who are providing the booze is pretty inconsequential in the bigger picture.

I think if they are too gone to realise a recovering alcoholic doesn't want a shot and it's nothing against their drunken self, then they probably aren't going to remember it and shun your band next month. More likely they remember the partying was up to standard.

Some guys get the bar to have a special bottle of non alcoholic mixer that punters can buy for the band. Everyone wins. Good luck getting your singer on board with that.

This should probably be my bigger concern. Singer IMHO is an alcoholic among other things. That said, from a strictly business angle, he is leaving the band shortly because work is taking him out of state. On a personal level I certainly don't wish him any ill will and I know that life is about choices. It has been tolerated up to this point mainly because he stays upright all night but he exhibits classic signs of alcoholism that I had. Mainly the blackouts and memory problems.

 

[bassstrangler]

I think you have to keep in mind that you are employees of an establishment that makes money by selling drinks. So, saying “I don’t drink” could seem a bit hipocrical. Said another way, you are being party poopers in a place that’s there for people to party. So, I’m not saying you should drink if it’s not your thing, but, also be aware that that can seem rude to people who are buzzed and are buying you drinks as a show of appreciation.

Quite possibly one of the silliest things I've read anywhere. Did you possibly even think about this before posting it? Anyone thinking it's rude of someone turning down a drink is well...(I don't want to get banned).

I've been sober for six years and anyone taking offense to me turning down a drink can kiss my...

 

[Jscriv]

A beer or two during. None before. Then with having to drive and get equipment back home kind of leaves no room for the extra beers after. Maybe one. Unless my wife is driving. Then I'll have a few after the fact also

 

[bolophonic]

Quite possibly one of the silliest things I've read anywhere. Did you possibly even think about this before posting it? Anyone thinking it's rude of someone turning down a drink is well...(I don't want to get banned).

I've been sober for six years and anyone taking offense to me turning down a drink can kiss my...

It’s been my experience that the people who are offended are the ones who already know they have a problem with their own drinking.

 

[GK Growl]

Quite possibly one of the silliest things I've read anywhere. Did you possibly even think about this before posting it? Anyone thinking it's rude of someone turning down a drink is well...(I don't want to get banned).

I've been sober for six years and anyone taking offense to me turning down a drink can kiss my...

6 years this time around for me too. Funny thing is, working in a place that has booze all around with everyone doing it has never been a temptation to me. I was never a social drinker. I would be too embarrassed for others to see how much I drank. Always had a one on one intimate relationship with alcohol. My singer on the other hand does the majority of his drinking around others. Still gets the same results though. Alcohol problem.

 

[bolophonic]

Ive said it before and ill say it again. Booze is the biggest negative in our society. It finds many ways to ruin lives. Ruins your body, your mind, etc. drunk drivers, liver disease. Shall i go on?

On a gig i just say i dont drink. Ill take a water or coke

Amen to that. Everywhere you drive in America nowadays is littered in Bud Lite cans. Our society is saturated in cheap, corrosive swill.

 

[Stumbo]

My answer: Sure, I'll drink a (soda, water, coffee, or whatever non-alcoholic drink) with ya! Thanks!

 

[GK Growl]

It’s been my experience that the people who are offended are the ones who already know they have a problem with their own drinking.

Maybe so but I will say that a newer place we played took complete offense to the fact that we would not take their shots. Break had just started and singer was outside smoking. Bar manager brings a tray of shots up to the rest of us still near the stage and we explain that we don't drink but the singer does BUT he doesn't need anymore and she had a look like we had just insulted her mother or something. She walked off mumbling something about how ungrateful we were.

 

[bolophonic]

My answer: Sure, I'll drink a (soda, water, coffee, or whatever non-alcoholic drink) with ya! Thanks!

I drank about 7 coffees in a club in Belgium once. The coffee there was just that good. Surely they were giving me decaf??

 

[saabfender]

I think you have to keep in mind that you are employees of an establishment that makes money by selling drinks. So, saying “I don’t drink” could seem a bit hipocrical. Said another way, you are being party poopers in a place that’s there for people to party. So, I’m not saying you should drink if it’s not your thing, but, also be aware that that can seem rude to people who are buzzed and are buying you drinks as a show of appreciation.

Not trying to pick a fight but these are all things I've heard and don't agree with.

As the band, you are not there to "party." You are part of the staff. You are there to play music. The waitstaff is there to sell and serve alcohol. The bouncer and the valet are there to perform their respective duties. No one who is receiving a paycheck is there to party. That is for the patrons.

If a patron doesn't get how a bar works, not my problem. No hypocrisy here. I arrive at the venue with my guys to set up our expensive gear, play an evening of music, pack up and go home, collecting a wad of bills on the way out. The only people I've ever seen take issue with the reality that the guys in the band aren't their drinking buds are drunk idiots. They were idiots before they started drinking and now they're drunk. Great.

I couldn't give a steaming pile about what some drunk idiot thinks of a bandmate refusing a drink. Most people are respectful and will understand that you are, in fact, working.

 

[bolophonic]

Maybe so but I will say that a newer place we played took complete offense to the fact that we would not take their shots. Break had just started and singer was outside smoking. Bar manager brings a tray of shots up to the rest of us still near the stage and we explain that we don't drink but the singer does BUT he doesn't need anymore and she had a look like we had just insulted her mother or something. She walked off mumbling something about how ungrateful we were.

WOW! I’m kind of imagining someone walking up to a vegetarian and being like, “HERE, YOU MUST EAT THIS HOT DOG IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW WHILE I EAT ONE TOO.”

 

[GK Growl]

Not trying to pick a fight but these are all things I've heard and don't agree with.

As the band, you are not there to "party." You are part of the staff. You are there to play music. The waitstaff is there to sell and serve alcohol. The bouncer and the valet are there to perform their respective duties. No one who is receiving a paycheck is there to party. That is for the patrons.

If a patron doesn't get how a bar works, not my problem. No hypocrisy here. I arrive at the venue with my guys to set up our expensive gear, play an evening of music, pack up and go home, collecting a wad of bills on the way out. The only people I've ever seen take issue with the reality that the guys in the band aren't their drinking buds are drunk idiots. They were idiots before they started drinking and now they're drunk. Great.

I couldn't give a steaming pile about what some drunk idiot thinks about a bandmate refusing a drink. Most people are respectful and will understand that you are, in fact, working.

Yes, bar staff, waitresses, etc are usually not drinking or drunk on the job. Which is why in my post above the bar manager getting offended about us not taking shots from her really surprised me.

 

[GK Growl]

WOW! I’m kind of imagining someone walking up to a vegetarian and being like, “HERE, YOU MUST EAT THIS HOT DOG IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW WHILE I EAT ONE TOO.”

That's another thread I could start. As the only vegetarian in my band you would be amazed how much of an alien I seem to others at times. I guess even with this current topic about those that drink and those that are sober, I guess having a bigger world view would help these people. Not everyone does the same things.

 

[tshapiro]

Not trying to pick a fight but these are all things I've heard and don't agree with.

As the band, you are not there to "party." You are part of the staff. You are there to play music. The waitstaff is there to sell and serve alcohol. The bouncer and the valet are there to perform their respective duties. No one who is receiving a paycheck is there to party. That is for the patrons.

If a patron doesn't get how a bar works, not my problem. No hypocrisy here. I arrive at the venue with my guys to set up our expensive gear, play an evening of music, pack up and go home, collecting a wad of bills on the way out. The only people I've ever seen take issue with the reality that the guys in the band aren't their drinking buds are drunk idiots. They were idiots before they started drinking and now they're drunk. Great.

I couldn't give a steaming pile about what some drunk idiot thinks of a bandmate refusing a drink. Most people are respectful and will understand that you are, in fact, working.

To the contrary, you are there as entertainment. That gives you special responsibility. Getting paid to do what other people do for recreation puts you in a special category. Nobody washes dishes for fun. They do play music for fun. You are getting paid to do what people find fun. When someone buys you a drink, it’s your job to be gracious.

 

[bolophonic]

That's another thread I could start. As the only vegetarian in my band you would be amazed how much of an alien I seem to others at times. I guess even with this current topic about those that drink and those that are sober, I guess having a bigger world view would help these people. Not everyone does the same things.

Well put. It’s hard for some people to understand deep commitments like that.

 

[tshapiro]

Yes, bar staff, waitresses, etc are usually not drinking or drunk on the job. Which is why in my post above the bar manager getting offended about us not taking shots from her really surprised me.

Like I said above, you are entertainment which is special. You’re expected to be able to handle the situation without getting offended or offending others.

 

[GK Growl]

To the contrary, you are there as entertainment. That gives you special responsibility. Getting paid to do what other people do for recreation puts you in a special category. Nobody washes dishes for fun. They do play music for fun. You are getting paid to do what people find fun. When someone buys you a drink, it’s your job to be gracious.

Be gracious and what? Accept the drink? Drink it in front of them? Also, if you've played in a band for long enough it is not always fun. Sometimes it is just work, like any other job. I disagree that getting paid to do what others do for recreation puts me in a special category. It is no different than any other job.