• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Running out of optimism

Noshtero

Noshtero

Dec 2, 2007
538
248
Chicago, IL
#1
I have a character flaw I think.

I'm in what's basically my 6th band over the past 4 years.... I've yet to ever gig.

Here's how they go.
1) I join the band
2) Everyone is excited
3) I get sooo pumped because this is "the one"
4) I buy new gear, I learn every song, I email out thoughts
5) The band starts to drift a bit
6) The band breaks up
7) I'm crushed that I once again got my hopes up and then nothing.....

So this current one I thought was different. This is all "real" musicians. They're either in current groups, or have recently left groups. They all have gigged for years and years. I therefore got the mindset that this one was going to happen.

Well... one singer quits due to not having time.
Then one cancels practice for the week.
Then another cancels practice the next week.
Now it's been three weeks since we've done anything. Nobody is replying to emails. Nobody is answering phone calls.

And here's little 'ol Nosh, who learned all the songs for the practice 3 weeks ago, who's trying to stay optimistic that it may still work out.

But after so many misfires, I'm running out of optimism.

I should say, this isn't a career for me. I don't NEED to be in a gigging band. I also am not passing up other opportunities or anything. So basically it's either this or nothing at the moment.

I am pretty sure if I simply stop emailing, the communication will dry up and this will die soon after. So I feel like I'm dragging the band along. That's the one thing I said right off that I wasn't going to do because that takes all the fun out of it.


So my question is, what are everyone's thoughts on my next move? I may very well be jumping the gun. It's only been a couple weeks, and people do get busy. This is exaggerating, but I don't want it to be like one guy says "Hey guys I can't make it to practice" and my reply is "Well then let's just forget the whole thing!!"

I've sent out maybe 3 feeler emails in the last week. One, which is rather important, is asking if there will be a practice next week. No replies. So my thought is I'll just stop emailing, and either they'll contact me, or they won't. You know, we won't have a "break-up". We'll either keep going, or we'll fade into non-existence.

Does that sound like the way to go? Or would you keep cracking the whip on this cattle train for a little longer since sometimes it takes some effort to really get the ball rolling?

Thanks
 
#4
Lived it more than more than a few times.

Look for people you don't have to chase. Your time could be spent making music with people who are and remain interested.

I've had projects did on me like this recently and it's sucks cause I was hoping for another gigging project (not a career, but it does fill in the gals my day job doesn't) but I couldn't afford the time to chase people.

That's just me though.
 
#9
..Typical..

I joined so many bands in the 1970's, that were going to be THE ONE... Never happened.

Oh I grew my hair down to my waist... spent waaayyy too many months rehearsing just for relationship issues with wives and girlfriends... loss of interest.. ..lost rehearsal space.. not enough PA..or $$ to improve PA..All causing the band to break up. PROBABLY lost half my hearing in the process, too..LOL..

Always each band demanded COMMITTMENT..and always... ..all for nothing.

Eventually, In late 1970's..after I cut my hair... I was dared to ask to sit in with a country band...who fired their bass player on the spot..Next thing I knew, was ..I was playing out for several years @ 2-3 times per week and bringing home nearly same $$ as I netted from my straight job.. only in half the hours; playing music I didn't particularly care for or listen to.

Rock and jazz bands = endless hours of practice/ rehearsals = NO GIGS.

Country= minimal practice rehearsal..not loud at all..no ear ringing decibels..and $ take home weekly.

Eventually, I learned that my real objective was not ROCK STAR but as a Musician who played bass and wanted to earn some $ doing so.

Wanna be a rock star?? ... NO ROOM FOR YOU up there.. NO room for country stars either...Wanna earn some extra $?? then ... put away all of your former ideas..play whatever music makes $ and you will gig. You may actually gag while playing a polka or New York..New York..or letting the brides drunken uncle sing one with the band.. AND you will have $$ in your pocket for having done so.

PLAY WHAT YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO ON YOUR OWN TIME IN YOUR OWN HOME...PROBABLY WON'T MAKE A DIME PLAYING ONES PERSONAL TASTES.

RULE # 1...If you aren't gigging in over a month, turn in your resignation and move on.

Doesn't mean you have to burn bridges and lose friends..but if you do..it's on them as they ..

REALLY ...NEVER ...EVER INTENDED ..TO GET OUT OF THE BASEMENT TO BEGIN WITH. They really only wanted a boys club away from family and friends with a monoply on YOUR time, with music as a cover for their scheme.

Years from now, they will still be at it 'in the basement '....somewhere or will have quit altogther.
 
#11
dtripoli said:
As a vocalist told me one time,
"Start . Your . Own . Band"

If you want the exact musicians and the exact song list that you like,
start your own band.
Click to expand...

See that's the thing. I really don't care what I play. I've said this for years, I can enjoy playing music that I wouldn't otherwise sit and listen to. I've done it my entire life. I spent 15 years under a Juilliard prof (retired) playing classical piano.... and I've NEVER enjoyed sitting and listening to classical piano.

This is similar to what zone6c-f was saying about doing a country band instead of a rock band.

I just think I'm cursed with bands.

Band 5: Established originals band. 2 CD's out. Joined them, learned their songs, practiced for 4 months... and the singer quit.
Band 6: All established cover band folks. And it's treading water to the point of drowning.

These aren't "garage band" kids that have big dreams and no follow-through. These are all real musicians. I join, and the damn thing blows up. Then I get the "sorry we had you join only to blow up" greeting card.

lol. We'll see if this other cover band wants me to come curse their band.
 
#14
zfunkman said:
Its hard to form and keep a band together. Musicians are an interesting lot and not always interesting in a good way. Thats just the way it is. PERIOD.
Click to expand...
And I'm going to add it gets harder as you get older. When you're young and have no responsibilities (wife and kids) and your job is relatively easy to replace, you can commit to hours at night not getting paid. And being a rock star is for the young.

Be a musician. If you want to be a working musician that's a lot harder. Play whenever and wherever you can.
 
#15
..Start your own band.

It isn't YOU...You aren't cursed..Its just typical 99% of the time in the music biz, which is partly the reason why bands / music as a career isn't taken seriously in U S A ...Too much B S and not enough lets get it done...

I have worked with several brilliant musicians..never got out of the basement. Country band??..Thought 'bar chords' were C G and A?? Close enough for countryu is wrs/ less than close enopugh for rock and roll..yet audience approved.

Jazz... ENDLESS nit-picking over nuances..never to get out of the basemant..NO WAY..NEVER AGAIN??

I have never made any $$ with good musicians.

When I can afford the PA I want..I hope to start my own band.

Band law #1..."He who owneth the PA and rehearsal space ruleth the band".
 
#16
Get the gig first. Then put the band together. If you don't have a reason to rehearse, all the other drama things will drift in and mess you up. How do you get a gig without demo package? Just remember what George Costanza said, "Its not a lie if you believe it".
 
#19
To be totally fair, this isn't a career for me. That's the problem... actually. If this were a career, or hell even a side-job, I would be willing to accept some b.s. because what job doesn't have a little b.s.

This is supposed to be my fun hobby, so I think I have expectations of it only being fun. I have this vision of finding guys like me, who want to go play fun songs for people so that they can have fun too.

So I join a band, and I'm new to this and have never gigged so I go with the flow. The band breaks up for one reason or another, and it sours my taste for the whole thing. The last one broke up because the singer wanted to get out and gig, and was fed up that we weren't moving fast enough. Hmm.... same place I'm in, only he had been in that band for years and had run out of patience.

That singer is actually in my current project.... and I'm betting we're not far off him leaving this one too. We have people that say they are excited and want to do this.... and then disappear for 2 weeks....

I think I'm just going to stop chasing, and let it either come to me or not. I need to remember that my goal is to have fun, and stop doing things that are counterproductive to that goal.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back