• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Running out of optimism

#41
I've read every post here multiple times. Thank you all for the advice!

Here's where I've landed:
1) I'm not DYING to get out and gig. I've determined over the last few days that it's not about gigging vs. not gigging. It's about getting my hopes up to gig, and then it not happening.
2) Based on this, starting today I'm no longer chasing this current group. I'm more than willing to participate, but I'm not going to "crack the whip" or drag people along.
3) I'm going to focus on enjoying my bass again. I'm going to start doing some YouTube covers.
4) I'm going to keep my eyes open for an established group who's in need of a bassist. If fate aligns for me, then I was meant to gig. Again, this is isn't a career move for me, so I'm not going to go to open mic nights every Friday and search relentlessly for a group. If I stumble upon one, or if one comes after me, then so be it.

Again, thank you all for the great advice. It is very helpful to chat things out.

Nosh
 
#42
Noshtero said:
Here's where I've landed:
1) I'm not DYING to get out and gig. I've determined over the last few days that it's not about gigging vs. not gigging. It's about getting my hopes up to gig, and then it not happening.
2) Based on this, starting today I'm no longer chasing this current group. I'm more than willing to participate, but I'm not going to "crack the whip" or drag people along.
3) I'm going to focus on enjoying my bass again. I'm going to start doing some YouTube covers.
4) I'm going to keep my eyes open for an established group who's in need of a bassist. If fate aligns for me, then I was meant to gig. Again, this is isn't a career move for me, so I'm not going to go to open mic nights every Friday and search relentlessly for a group. If I stumble upon one, or if one comes after me, then so be it.
Click to expand...
It's really helpful for me to see you write this, because I think it's fairly applicable to my own life/situation, even if there are some minor differences. Your summary is pretty solid, so thanks for posting.
 
#43
Noshtero said:
I'm not DYING to get out and gig. I've determined over the last few days that it's not about gigging vs. not gigging. It's about getting my hopes up to gig, and then it not happening.
Click to expand...

Though I understand and admire some of the other observations you've made, I read this five times and it still sounds redundant to me. It sounds like you're saying the same thing twice, just using different words.

I'll still contend that, without a performance as your goal, the odds are very good you'll end up in a room full of wankers and time wasters again.

Take your time. When a group of musicians that is more goal-oriented comes along, you'll know it.

And woodshedding in the meanwhile is a great idea. Good luck with it all.
 
#44
Noshtero said:
I've read every post here multiple times. Thank you all for the advice!

1) I'm not DYING to get out and gig. I've determined over the last few days that it's not about gigging vs. not gigging. It's about getting my hopes up to gig, and then it not happening.
Click to expand...

Nosh, lol, this is a little confusing.

Getting your hopes up to gig means you want to gig, getting down when it doesn't happen also leads me to believe in your heart you want to gig.

Nosh, theres no shame in wanting to gig.

Relax, take your time and think about what you really want.

blue
 
#45
What I mean is if the band said "this band isn't planning to gig in the next year", then fine. I'd probably look for a new band, but maybe not. Either way, I wouldn't be overly frustrated about a missed practice here and there because it's been made clear that this isn't a serious band with a goal of gigging asap.

If the band said "we are going to start gigging in 3 months", then great! I'll expect commitment, dedication, etc...

The frustrating one is the band said "we are going to start gigging as soon as possible"..... and then people start flaking out, missing practices, not communicating, etc... And here's Nosh, having gotten his hopes up to gig soon, and then going nuts with all the lack of commitment.

It's about managing expectations, and not getting people's hopes up. That's the part that takes the fun out.

It's like your parents said they'll take you to Disney World, but only if you push the car the whole way there while they sit inside and go back and forth about whether they really want to go or not. If you ever actually get there, you'll be so worn out and pissed that you won't have fun anyway.
 
#47
If I was you I'd just book a gig for this band right now. Seriously. Then send them an email about the date, and the one's who can't make it, find subs. Don't book a super serious gig, but book a gig. Perhaps a benefit gig, but something where everyone makes $30 - $50 will generate more interest.

Sometimes getting out of the practice room is the best medicine. Get one singer onboard and the two of you put the gig together, then pull in other folks as needed. Bonus: as a co-leader, you get to pick songs you already know. Sweet! Have one or two rehearsals and then go and burn it down!
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back