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serious opportunity- what to know legally
- Thread starter hernameisrio
- Start date
This really sounds like "stringing you along".
On the other hand you've got nothing to lose by it
On the other hand you've got nothing to lose by it
I'm back and spoke to the producer, who is in Switzerland still and back in LA next week. Insert Important Celebrity Name's people are still negotiating the deal. you don't have to send anything else, he is taking my word for it that you can play. as soon as it moves forward, I will get you in there.
Don't worry, I'm not packing my bags yet...
Don't worry, I'm not packing my bags yet...
I've decided it's most likely all crap and I don't feel like keeping this guy on my radar anymore. I'm over it...I honestly don't trust any gig I get where it's "through" someone else to such a large degree...it just makes me uneasy. I've taken a bit of a step back and decided that it would be really self-destructive for me to leave New York City right now anyway. I haven't even had my day job for six months yet and I feel like things are happening for me here, even if it seems like it's happening slowly. My choices:
1. uprooting my entire life, shelling out a huge amount of money to move across the country, and placing all my bets on a guy who I essentially don't trust and don't like. At all.
2. staying here, making sure I'm more financially secure, investing more time in local contacts who I've known for years, and basically giving the scene here more of a chance. Because I really haven't...before, I was too broke to really take advantage of the things going on in this city.
So, I've chosen the latter at this point in time. It kinda makes my stomach hurt to think of leaving here, really. As much as I loathe the winters, I have an arsenal of weapons to fight them, which- in conjunction with a stronger support network- seems like it'll get me through for at least another year, hopefully longer. In addition to extenuating circumstances in my personal life which made things very hard for me for years, I feel that I haven't been patient enough or really quite done enough with the connections I have. I have a tendency to stick with things longer than I should (relationships, bad haircuts, terrible bands!) , but I also have a tendency to get impatient and jump ship, damning the consequences...and I don't want to do that to myself; I have to find a balance instead. I really think that if I can just keep a more positive perspective on my life here, opportunities will emerge. I think I'd find that a lot of the problems I've run into here, will simply follow me out there...or anywhere else. For all the stress and turmoil I have been through during the years I was so poor, I just can't put myself through another move, either...it makes me tired just thinking about it!
I got this strange and compelling mental picture of myself continuing to work at Tekserve (I'm an Apple tech there, come visit me!
) for at least another few years while eventually landing in a local indie pop band or maybe starting my own project. You know, doing things the "right" way instead of burning so much gray matter trying to find a shortcut or putting myself under pressure with unrealistic expectations. I realized that the result which would make me happiest as a bassist and as a PERSON (at this time in my life) would be to find a band where even if I'm not making much money with them (if at all), I would at least really, really enjoy playing their music...and they would have a following already...and play all the local venues in Brooklyn and maybe the city...and after a while, maybe festivals like CMJ, SXSW, even the North Side festival. Then, within the next few years if I keep practicing as much as I do and getting out there, maybe I'll start slowly working my way into the teaching/covers/weddings side of things and have a better shot at making money from this. But I have to just let time go by...I think I am trying to rush things.
As I continue to work on my own music project as well as seek out a band which fits my criteria, I'm also taking lessons when I can and learning all the "standards" so that I can be familiar and start playing more often at the jam nights at Bitter End and Red Lion and getting to know those musicians. I'm already friends with a few people who are in those circles and they know I work hard, so I think if I keep proving myself, something might just come my way. The fact that I work at a place where the schedule is relatively flexible due to the hours, is huge... and it's unlikely I would find a place like that in some other city. Which would mean going back to freelancing, which I don't think is a good idea for me right now....I'm still getting back on my feet.
The simple fact that I have finally found a skill which can make me decent money (being Apple certified), is also a major advantage from where I was a year ago. It's stabilized my life in a way that I didn't even know was possible. If I pull the plug on my longer-term investments here (my friends and connections in the music scene/industry, my job at Tekserve), who knows what would happen...but I think I would regret it a lot. For the few years that I tried to make money in the music industry as an engineer and as a tech, I was constantly plagued by the feeling that I had never been given a chance to work as hard as I naturally work, because there just weren't enough jobs to work at...I felt like I had all this drive and energy that was wasted, and it bothered me. I finally realized that nobody is going to give me that chance...nobody is going to notice whether or not I decide to bust my @$$...I just have to do it because *I* know it's the way to get where I want to be.
So anyway, that's where I'm at. For all the times I dream and fantasize about my future just to keep myself motivated, I try to be realistic about the way this industry is, because it makes me feel better than just blindly flinging myself at an opportunity which could crash and burn really easily or end up making me hate this business. I did not have enough information about this gig to really even figure out if I wanted to do it...and that ended up being a deal-breaker for me. It doesn't matter if this guy is for real or not...I have my own goals and my own agenda. For all the risks I have taken in my life, I think I need to take it easier on myself and stick with where I am and what I have.
1. uprooting my entire life, shelling out a huge amount of money to move across the country, and placing all my bets on a guy who I essentially don't trust and don't like. At all.
2. staying here, making sure I'm more financially secure, investing more time in local contacts who I've known for years, and basically giving the scene here more of a chance. Because I really haven't...before, I was too broke to really take advantage of the things going on in this city.
So, I've chosen the latter at this point in time. It kinda makes my stomach hurt to think of leaving here, really. As much as I loathe the winters, I have an arsenal of weapons to fight them, which- in conjunction with a stronger support network- seems like it'll get me through for at least another year, hopefully longer. In addition to extenuating circumstances in my personal life which made things very hard for me for years, I feel that I haven't been patient enough or really quite done enough with the connections I have. I have a tendency to stick with things longer than I should (relationships, bad haircuts, terrible bands!) , but I also have a tendency to get impatient and jump ship, damning the consequences...and I don't want to do that to myself; I have to find a balance instead. I really think that if I can just keep a more positive perspective on my life here, opportunities will emerge. I think I'd find that a lot of the problems I've run into here, will simply follow me out there...or anywhere else. For all the stress and turmoil I have been through during the years I was so poor, I just can't put myself through another move, either...it makes me tired just thinking about it!
I got this strange and compelling mental picture of myself continuing to work at Tekserve (I'm an Apple tech there, come visit me!
) for at least another few years while eventually landing in a local indie pop band or maybe starting my own project. You know, doing things the "right" way instead of burning so much gray matter trying to find a shortcut or putting myself under pressure with unrealistic expectations. I realized that the result which would make me happiest as a bassist and as a PERSON (at this time in my life) would be to find a band where even if I'm not making much money with them (if at all), I would at least really, really enjoy playing their music...and they would have a following already...and play all the local venues in Brooklyn and maybe the city...and after a while, maybe festivals like CMJ, SXSW, even the North Side festival. Then, within the next few years if I keep practicing as much as I do and getting out there, maybe I'll start slowly working my way into the teaching/covers/weddings side of things and have a better shot at making money from this. But I have to just let time go by...I think I am trying to rush things.As I continue to work on my own music project as well as seek out a band which fits my criteria, I'm also taking lessons when I can and learning all the "standards" so that I can be familiar and start playing more often at the jam nights at Bitter End and Red Lion and getting to know those musicians. I'm already friends with a few people who are in those circles and they know I work hard, so I think if I keep proving myself, something might just come my way. The fact that I work at a place where the schedule is relatively flexible due to the hours, is huge... and it's unlikely I would find a place like that in some other city. Which would mean going back to freelancing, which I don't think is a good idea for me right now....I'm still getting back on my feet.
The simple fact that I have finally found a skill which can make me decent money (being Apple certified), is also a major advantage from where I was a year ago. It's stabilized my life in a way that I didn't even know was possible. If I pull the plug on my longer-term investments here (my friends and connections in the music scene/industry, my job at Tekserve), who knows what would happen...but I think I would regret it a lot. For the few years that I tried to make money in the music industry as an engineer and as a tech, I was constantly plagued by the feeling that I had never been given a chance to work as hard as I naturally work, because there just weren't enough jobs to work at...I felt like I had all this drive and energy that was wasted, and it bothered me. I finally realized that nobody is going to give me that chance...nobody is going to notice whether or not I decide to bust my @$$...I just have to do it because *I* know it's the way to get where I want to be.
So anyway, that's where I'm at. For all the times I dream and fantasize about my future just to keep myself motivated, I try to be realistic about the way this industry is, because it makes me feel better than just blindly flinging myself at an opportunity which could crash and burn really easily or end up making me hate this business. I did not have enough information about this gig to really even figure out if I wanted to do it...and that ended up being a deal-breaker for me. It doesn't matter if this guy is for real or not...I have my own goals and my own agenda. For all the risks I have taken in my life, I think I need to take it easier on myself and stick with where I am and what I have.
All's well that ends well. If you find the techie stuff to be easy, you might consider learning programming. I've noticed that musicians often make great programmers.
It sounds like you are making a good decision to me. For all the reasons you mentioned here in your last post, such as having a steady job and a network of friends, pretty important things to have just to get by in life. New York has got to have one of the most diverse musical cultures in the world, so I didn't see LA as a step up. So regardless of whether your friend was legit or not, throwing away everything you have to go for a long shot didn't make much sense to me anyway.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
@mellow: ha ha! I don't know if I could pull it off as well as you, although sometimes when I lose the fight with the hairspray and straightener in the morning, I've been known to rock fedoras...
I'm actually impressed. I don't think I'd have the gumption to resist an offer like that. Obviously we're from different circumstances, but I'd still really have a hard time turning something like that down on the off chance that by walking away I'd forever "Pete Best" myself.
Then again you have to do what makes you happy and it sounds like you didn't have a good relationship with the chap with the purse strings and I think that makes all the difference.
Then again you have to do what makes you happy and it sounds like you didn't have a good relationship with the chap with the purse strings and I think that makes all the difference.
Dude it's not gumption. The guy flaked and never got back to me. Obvs if he did, I'd be in LA already.
Also, did you read the whole thread?! Man trust me. I'm not thrilled about how things turned out. Part of why I'm making this "choice" is because this dude clearly turned out to be so full of $&@! and I feel totally played.
I tried on a beret once and was just never really clear about how it was supposed to fit, so I gave up. I suppose in this analogy, the beret is the guy who dragged me along for months claiming to have mad connections in LA. Just trying to stay on topic. 
You should shave your head. Then no hairspray needed. And what could possibly be more bone-crushingly rock than a bald bass-playin chick?
Actually Smeet, I've shaved it a few times before. It was fun for a couple of weeks but then I just got really, really, really bored having no hair. Also, because I am skinny, I think a lot of people got the wrong idea and thought I had a terminal illness of some sort. So it was kinda awkward....
Don't mistake me. I wasn't having a go at you. I was merely insinuating based on your long post on this page that you're obviously demonstrating a lot of restraint and a fair amount of emotional maturity.
Sure it wasn't the ultimate outcome but you've obviously thought the whole thing through properly.
All I was trying to say was that if I were you I'd be banging about kicking sh*t over and sitting in the corner in the dark instead of assessing the things in my life that were still positive. Good on you I say. Other opportunities will come along.
