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Should I join/quit the band?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by bub628, Aug 9, 2012.

  1. Ok so I just made an account so pardon my noobiness if I do something incorrectly. But anyway on to my issue. So I was in a band with two of my best friends (they're both 17 and play drums and guitar, I'm 16 btw.) and we were searching for a singer after our former one quit. So our drummer decides he wants to get his cousin (19) to do vocals and we all agreed because we weren't having much luck finding a singer. So after a few practices our drummer goes on vacation and a week later I do as well so we of course we couldn't rehearse at all and apparently that didn't sit well with our vocalist so he quit and our drummer goes with him and they offered me a spot (I still don't know where the guitarist sits). The problem is that they want to be a heavy band with no singing and that is exactly what I don't want to do as I don't like that music but the drummer is my best friend so I'm not sure what I should do. I also might add that us original three are anti drugs and alcohol and the vocalist does indulge in those things. So the question is should I stick with my friend or try and find new people? Again I apologize if I didn't make things clear or messed something up.
  2. jonas_24112


    Jul 11, 2011
    If the drummer is good, always go with the drummer. Guitarists are plentiful and it doesn't hurt that he is your friend. Alcohol and drugs are band killers, stay away from them and guys that have problems with those substances. You will learn these lessons with time grasshopper!
  3. i've learned that you have to do what makes you happy, and if you won't enjoy the music, what's the point? play what you want with others that want the same. even if it takes you a while to find those people, it will be worth it.
  4. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass

    Feb 27, 2008
    TalkBass > Off Topic

    (just kidding, a joke about another thread)

    Welcome to TalkBass!!

    I'm confused: the vocalist wants to start a band with no vocals??? :eyebrow:

    If I were you, I think I would give this a go for a while. See what happens. You're young, there's plenty of time to quit later... or fire him. :p
  5. lokikallas

    lokikallas Supporting Member

    Aug 15, 2010
    los angeles
    I always say follow the best songs first. Follow the drummer 2nd.
  6. Go with the drummer, then find another guitarist and for a singer get a new one or you could do it yourself as it will make you a more valuable musician. Like others have said, guitarists are plentiful. But really it all comes down to what YOU think is best for you.
  7. Oneirogenic


    Nov 10, 2009
    It was mentioned as "no singing" which either means cookie monster or spoken word. ;)
  8. Haha cookie monster is exactly what I call his "vocals". I'm sorry if I couldn't make this clear because i was trying to rush this and again I'm new but the vocalist quit and started a new band so I can't fire a founder of a band of course. I really do want to stick with the drummer because we get along real well and started the original band together but the only problem is that since he's related to the vocalist there is a family connection there and I'm not sure who he would go with.
  9. DiabolusInMusic

    DiabolusInMusic Functionless Art is Merely Tolerated Vandalism Supporting Member

    The best advice I can give you is to do what you love, otherwise you'll hate playing in the band and blame your friend for putting you there.
  10. Alrod


    Apr 7, 2012
    Make the decision you want. If the drummer is truly your best friend he will respect your decision either way. My guess is that you guys will remain friends and probably be in multiple bands together and separately over the years. That is of course until one of you doinks the other ones girlfriend. You guys are still really young.
  11. mate you are 16, hang in there for some experiance....do a few gigs...see how you go then decide to leave or stay
  12. Mr L

    Mr L

    Jul 22, 2012
    Vancouver BC
    Speaking from experience, guitarists are a dime a dozen. I would say your best plan is to follow what you like. When I look at joining a band I always ask myself "would I want THAT on my iPod" if not then no thanks.

    As for going with your friends, it sounds like the drummer is going down a rough path. Keep away from drugs, doesn't matter what your friends doing.

    When I quit my last band I put an ad on CL and got 4 auditions within 3 days. People want bassists.

    Long story short, there will always be more opportunities don't go with something you feel is anything less than what you want just because your friends are doing it.
  13. CS


    Dec 11, 1999
    The way I see this is that the drummer and vocalist have effectively fired the drummer by reforming the band without him and now the balance of power lies with those two as it's now a 'new' band.

    My advice is to go with it for a while to get the experience and look around for other opportunities.
  14. Since you really dont have anything going on right now, like some others have said, hang in there, gain some experience and stay open for better opportunities. Cookie Monster music...and no vocals at all just bores me personally but you may dig it. Welcome and good luck.
  15. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    Let me get this straight - the singer got pissed because the bass player and drummer took vacations and the result was to effectively fire the guitarist, who didn't do anything to piss off the singer :eek: ? And the singer isn't gonna sing anymore but be the BL - maybe stand around and look surly or what :confused: ? And all this is going on without drugs being involved ? Sounds like bizarro world to me :D .
  16. When I said "no vocals" I meant he's only gonna do screams and not actual singing. I also have learned that the guitarist is with them so they're waiting on my answer.
  17. I believe that's your answer right there. Let them do their thing, take some time to yourself to develop technique, style, etc. There will always be more bands.
  18. jonas_24112


    Jul 11, 2011
    You're 16. Don't do the drugs or alcohol. Play with them. I promise, you are going to learn SOOOOO much more than just how to play. The lessons you will learn from this "band management" experience will be good and learning them now while you're young will help you avoid bad situations in the future.
  19. Exploiter8

    Exploiter8 Demons run when a good man goes to war

    Jan 18, 2010
    Commercial FREE!
    Do the others WANT to do Cookie Monster music, or are they just forcing themselves to do it because they're just settling on the only vocalist they can find?

  20. Exploiter8

    Exploiter8 Demons run when a good man goes to war

    Jan 18, 2010
    Commercial FREE!
    "The problem is that they want to be a heavy band with no singing..."

    Sorry, just re-read original post.


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