Significant other/partner attending gigs

[Gravedigger Dav]

Why would I kick you? Certainly not my intention (I suppose I should have included a smiley face) ... I was making a joke. POSSSLQ was on the US Census ... Persons of Same Sex Sharing Living Quarters. Sorry you took offense as none was intended.

Understood. It looked like one, but that is why I was surprised it was you.

 

[s0c9]

My wife has never come to a show... ever. Many members of bands I have been in are suspicious she doesn't exist So I really can't answer the question.

My current band (Country), whom I've been with for 27 months now, has never had my wife grace our presence. She's into heavier rock and used to come see my old rock band play - occasionally.
All of our Country venues are 40+ miles from home, and 1) given the distance, 2) she don't like pop-Country, she doesn't go.
I [also] get some ribbing from the guys (and their spouses) about even having a wife...

 

[Syxz_ML]

You dont take sand to the beach

 

[Polfuste]

My lady doesn't like jazz, which is the music i play. She comes from time to time for me cause she knows i enjoy more the gig when i play for her. But i don't hassle her to come cause this music isn't her cup of tea.

 

[bolophonic]

I'm grateful for the fact that my wife is supportive of my band activities, but I would never want her to feel obligated to come out to a show. I am not very sociable at gigs, so I wouldn't call myself "good company" for the evening.

 

[Alivefor5]

My wife comes less and less as we get older. Heard it all, seen it all, etc. She's very supportive and I'm fine with her there or not.

I have a bass playing friend who's wife comes to every gig. He's a real hound dog and would probably go home with someone else if
she weren't there. I've often wondered what keeps them together at all.

 

[pcake]

my husband came to every show the last two bands i was in played. of course, that's not surprising, as he was the guitar player

 

[khutch]

My gig is a church band so yeah, I prefer that she comes! But that is an odd situation compared to what most of you have. At church the audience is part of the vocal team.... If I played in a band outside of church I would not care if she came or not as long as she was good with the time I spent with the band. I can see where listening to the same band playing the same songs many times a year would get old for your partner, unless she were the guitarist! I guess I would hope that she would come occasionally but I would certainly understand her not wanting to come to every show. This actually came up between us recently for an odd reason. I'm getting close to retirement and we just visited Decorah, Iowa as a possible retirement destination. The area has a strong Norwegian immigrant heritage and they have a local men's chorus that sings Norwegian songs and occasionally travels to Norway for concerts. She let me know that if we do move there I will join the chorus and she will go along on trips to Norway!

 

[ChrisB2]

I don't have a significant other and I avoid using PC phrases.
I do have a wife

No, you have a "life partner." C'mon man, "wife" is so offensive on soooo many levels...

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

No, you have a "life partner." C'mon man, "wife" is so offensive on soooo many levels...

Well, she can be..

 

[Rayjay]

My wife has been cool about it in recent years (before there were some issues). I had to explain to her that her coming to shows is like me coming to her store and hanging out while she worked. When we first met, she naturally assumed that all musicians do is party all night and sleep with every girl at the bar. Its really work, as we all know. Fun work, but work indeed.

One of the interesting quirks about my wife is that she can't pick apart the individual instruments in a song, so she really can't hear the bass anyways. She only listens to the words. In fact just yesterday I was telling her about this great lead guitar gig in town, she says "you should do it!" I tried to tell her that I'm not a lead guitar player and can barely play rhythm guitar, and bass is my specialty but she just wasn't understanding.

I always wanted my kids to hear me play, and I have been playing in the worship group at church. One of the benefits is that my whole family gets to see me play.

 

[ThePez]

since being married for 20 years, my wife isn't interested in seeing me play, and that is totally fine with me. I always invite her, so she knows that she's welcome, and everything's on the up and up. she comes out to a show about two or three times a year... and I play out 2-3 times a week on average.

 

[two fingers]

Never before my wife did I care at all.

But my wife is more fun to hang out with than even my best guy friends. She is that girl who doesn't need 6 beers before she gets up the nerve to dance. She is in the middle of the dance floor about the 3rd song. She is grabbing total strangers and pulling them out there with her. In short, she's a riot. It's less fun for everybody if she isn't there. I have literally had club owners or waitresses come up to me at places I play and say "Is your wife coming tonight? Oh my God I love her!"

Yep, I'm happiest when she is there..... right up until the next morning when our two young kids wake up and we've both had about 4 hours sleep. Then, for one brief moment, I wish she had stayed home.

 

[Mike A]

I like it when she can make it, but we've both "been there, done that" so I don't take it personally if she wants to opt out.

 

[dalkowski]

I care more that we have a good-sized, high-energy, fun, paying house. While I DO always greatly appreciate Mrs.' attending, what matters to me is she's there at home afterward.

 

[AdamR]

My wife comes to almost every show. Doesnt really bother me. I make her self merch.

 

[BurningSkies]

She's welcome to come out when she wants. We play a good amount. I don't expect her to, or to want to see us every time we play even if that were possible.

I don't really get to see her when we're playing. Beforehand I've got band stuff going on, during I'm on stage, and after I'm dealing with gear or the public. So, yeah...it's not like it's quality time to hang out anyway.

 

[anechoic]

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I much prefer it when my wife comes to the gigs. There's a distinct lack of low end otherwise:

 

[denhou1974]

I enjoy the shows more when my wife shows up. She rarely does though. Over 22 years she's seen and heard just about everything. It gets boring.

 

[Musicalhossgal]

Last weekend we saw Bela Fleck and Chick Corea in Moab Utah. Bela always comes out and signs autographs, talks, takes pictures, or whatever you want after the show. I mentioned something that Bela was the nicest "elite" level musician I know who always took care of fans. He laughed and stressed that that was after shows. Before shows he does not want to be bothered, approached, or have anything disrupt him as he prepares for the night... So you are not alone. Even the elite level musicians like Bela have the pre show routines and nerves.

Bella also has a wife - whom he plays music with. Abigail and he seem to have worked out a balance