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Singer has bad and consistant gas!

#23
Well, we had a rehearsal last night and I did manage a measure of redemption.
I have a remote control "fart machine" . When no one was watching, I stuck it in the bass drum, (which is miked) and parked myself in my usual spot, right beside the drummer.
I let the singer know I had curried gaot for lunch and that he was gonna be my target.
You should have seen the look on all of the members faces when it hit the P/A!
fishheadjoe
 
#25
Fishheadjoe said:
Well, we had a rehearsal last night and I did manage a measure of redemption.
I have a remote control "fart machine" . When no one was watching, I stuck it in the bass drum, (which is miked) and parked myself in my usual spot, right beside the drummer.
I let the singer know I had curried gaot for lunch and that he was gonna be my target.
You should have seen the look on all of the members faces when it hit the P/A!
fishheadjoe
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I hope you know you just threw gas on this fire. He will be looking to up the ante.
Have fun and good luck breathing
 
#26
excane said:
fart.jpg
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The guy in this photo was my best friend and used to work with me at BP in Houston. I found out this was a photo of him when I was laughing at the farting during a show mega thread and he asked me what was so funny. I showed him this photo and he said it was him. I didn't believe him at first, then he showed me that photo and the others that were taken at the time and sure 'nuff, it was him.

We were short of desk space on the 17th floor so I shared a small conference room with another guy while we worked on writing procedures for offshore platforms. Brian would come in and look out the window and leave without saying anything, but the smell he left would drop you to your knees when you stood up. It used to make us really mad - but after a couple of years we miss him.

He nick-named our little office "the smoke house" - very funny.

I've got to let him know that he's been immortalized twice now on TB; a great honor.



:ninja:
 
#27
I'm sorry but there IS something supremely funny about three or four guys trapped on a stage tied to their amps (in mid song) by their guitar cords when someone slides out one of those vile, sulfurous, rotten egg silent killer farts.

Yes, I have a perverse sense of humor.... Gets me laughing til the tears roll.:crying:
 
#29
When I was a kid garage jamming our singer would fart behind one of the fans, it would usually blow to another fan and make its way to me. I was the drummer and stuck in my spot. I would just give him a dirty look and he would laugh....
 
#33
Fishheadjoe said:
And not the G.A.S. that normally gets talked about here, I'm talking nasty, lord I need a Tic Tac gas!
We rehearse in a very small room, and he drops them like carmels at a Santa Claus parade!
Now, if it were a competition, I'd say that I could keep up with him, but as of yet, I have simply smiled and played the fart game... should I lambaste him and show my true colors or simply keep smiling...
fishheadjoe
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If the guy can't control or manage basic bodily functions, I wonder how anything else in his life happens, except by accident. Ideally, I'd give him one serious warning (no joking around) and then fire him if it wasn't fixed in due course.

Or maybe I just don't have any patience for flatulence...

Do as you will.
 
#36
I am surprised that people here aren't comprehending that farting in not really because of a "lack of self-control." Every person farts. The guy in question has too much gas, probably due to eating way too many carbs and sugar. A round of antibotics under a Dr.'s supervision and a significant change in diet will fix it.

Even if he is not a great singer, I assume he is a person you would want help escape his suffering. Get him to a Dr. (perhaps a specialist), and a nutritionist.

BTW, if you are eating tons of chips, thick crust pizza, ice cream, pop corn, candy, soda, and beer, and skipping the salad and cooked veggies, you will probably be tooting right a long with him, soon. Maybe that is the solution, LOL.

Socrates der weise spricht, laute fürze stinken nicht,
aber diese leisen, diese butterweichen
die so durch die hose schleichen,
Plato, auf der hut dich,
diese stinken fürchterlich.
 
#37
Jim Carr said:
I am surprised that people here aren't comprehending that farting in not really because of a "lack of self-control." Every person farts.

BTW, if you are eating tons of chips, thick crust pizza, ice cream, pop corn, candy, soda, and beer, and skipping the salad and cooked veggies, you will probably be tooting right a long with him, soon. Maybe that is the solution, LOL.

.
Click to expand...
Personally I recommend Chili with beans,deviled eggs/with hot sauce,and beer.
 
#40
I was driving to a gig with a guitarist and the sound man one evening when I floated what came to be referred to as "the entity". It hung in the air for so long, even with the windows rolled down, that it seemed to have mass. That was before you could control the windows electronically from the driver side, which I would have done (windows up), just to see how many shades of green my bandmates could turn. They actually hated me after that one, but we're cool now ... I think.
 

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