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Singer has bad and consistant gas!

#41
mrjim123 said:
I was driving to a gig with a guitarist and the sound man one evening when I floated what came to be referred to as "the entity". It hung in the air for so long, even with the windows rolled down, that it seemed to have mass. That was before you could control the windows electronically from the driver side, which I would have done (windows up), just to see how many shades of green my bandmates could turn. They actually hated me after that one, but we're cool now ... I think.
Click to expand...

LMAO
 
#45
It's funny when you read about it like this but when you live with it it sucks.

There is an older lady at my workplace who starts to crack them off right after she comes back from lunch, EVERY ******* DAY! You can count on smelling her butt bombs going off constantly from around 1:00 or so until it's time to go home and it's really awful. We have lost 4 very good workers in the past 3 years because they quit rather than have to be in a room that smelled like a swamp.

She knows that she does it because she keeps a bunch of air fresheners on the shelf behind her and as soon as she gets them out in the afternoon we know that we've got about 6 seconds before her rancid air biscuits start breaking open.

We had a meeting with the company owner about it and he installed an automatic air freshening system just for her so that when she starts to stink we just turn the machine on and it circulates the air through itself and releases scents to cover up the poo smell. Unfortunately, the scent that's in there now is pine and it just makes our work area smell like someone crapped under a Christmas tree.

We used to laugh and joke about it but now it's just like: :(:scowl::mad::atoz:
 
#46
hbarcat said:
It's funny when you read about it like this but when you live with it it sucks.

There is an older lady at my workplace who starts to crack them off right after she comes back from lunch, EVERY ******* DAY! You can count on smelling her butt bombs going off constantly from around 1:00 or so until it's time to go home and it's really awful. We have lost 4 very good workers in the past 3 years because they quit rather than have to be in a room that smelled like a swamp.

She knows that she does it because she keeps a bunch of air fresheners on the shelf behind her and as soon as she gets them out in the afternoon we know that we've got about 6 seconds before her rancid air biscuits start breaking open.

We had a meeting with the company owner about it and he installed an automatic air freshening system just for her so that when she starts to stink we just turn the machine on and it circulates the air through itself and releases scents to cover up the poo smell. Unfortunately, the scent that's in there now is pine and it just makes our work area smell like someone crapped under a Christmas tree.

We used to laugh and joke about it but now it's just like: :(:scowl::mad::atoz:
Click to expand...


LAUGHING. MY. F$#@&^%. A$$. OFF.
Seriously almost fell out of my chair!

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during your meeting w/ the company owner!
 
#50
Another story for yah!
Guitarist buddy of mine is also my fishin buddy. He has a 20 ft bass boat style boat meaning, no windshield, no roof, basically an open boat. We were fishing Lake Ontario, roughly the middle which put us about 12 -15 miles out on the lake. There was a nice breeze happening and my buddy drops one... he's very well known among his friends for his ability to clear a room in one foul swoop!
Well here I am, stuck in this boat with a stank that was so advanced, it began forming is own social structure and goverment! I was sure, being 15 miles off shore in an open boat, would find me in a rather safe position, but alas, the stank stayed with us for what seemed like forever! It was actually worse, if you had to bend over to pick something up off the floor... it must have taken residence in the marine carpet!
Nasty stuff!
fishheadjoe
 
#51
Fishheadjoe said:
Another story for yah!
Guitarist buddy of mine is also my fishin buddy. He has a 20 ft bass boat style boat meaning, no windshield, no roof, basically an open boat. We were fishing Lake Ontario, roughly the middle which put us about 12 -15 miles out on the lake. There was a nice breeze happening and my buddy drops one... he's very well known among his friends for his ability to clear a room in one foul swoop!
Well here I am, stuck in this boat with a stank that was so advanced, it began forming is own social structure and goverment! I was sure, being 15 miles off shore in an open boat, would find me in a rather safe position, but alas, the stank stayed with us for what seemed like forever! It was actually worse, if you had to bend over to pick something up off the floor... it must have taken residence in the marine carpet!
Nasty stuff!
fishheadjoe
Click to expand...


This is starting to resemble everyones favorite thread about flatulense. That thread ended up something like 20 pages long with nothing but fart stories.
When I was in the Navy I was taught by one of my shipmates how to fart into the cupped hand, then release its power directly into the face of some other unsuspecting shipmate. I eventually got good enough to be able to hurl them short distances.
 
#52
LilMissStrange said:
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during your meeting w/ the company owner!
Click to expand...



The reason we had the meeting was the company owner came back from lunch with a client and he walked into the room and smelled the stench and exclaimed, "WOW, I think the sewer backed up!". Then he walked into the boiler room and filled up a 5 gallon bucket with water and dumped it into the toilet in an attempt to flush the stench down the drain. The manager and the supervisor and I were all staring at this spectacle not knowing what to say until the owner dismissed the client and went back into his office mutttering about how he was going to call the city and have them come out to take a look at the sewage system.. :hmm:

All three of us went in there and had a heart to heart talk with the owner about the stinky situation. That was the most surreal conversation I've ever had in my life. The entire time, the owner is like, "No way, You're kidding!" :eek: and the supervisor is saying, "Swear to God, you've got to do something!". :atoz:
 
#55
groooooove said:
not only do girls not fart, they dont poo either.
Click to expand...

Oh they do, but are less likely to do it in a jam session. I briefly dated a girl who worked in a gentleman's club, she was a waitress. She told me one thing she loved about her job was that it had loud music so she could rip 'em as loud as she wanted and nobody would hear. Any bad odors and there were plenty of guys around to blame.
 
#56
KeithPas said:
This is starting to resemble everyones favorite thread about flatulense. That thread ended up something like 20 pages long with nothing but fart stories.
When I was in the Navy I was taught by one of my shipmates how to fart into the cupped hand, then release its power directly into the face of some other unsuspecting shipmate. I eventually got good enough to be able to hurl them short distances.
Click to expand...

This manuever is known as the cupcake in the USMC. Very versatile and effective
 
#57
One thing I used to like doing was going out to a nightclub and leaving what I used to call "fart bombs". Nasty SBDs. I would walk about 15 feet on and watch people react.

I mean, when you gotta fart, you might as well have some fun with it, right?

Now that I am married, I don't go to clubs. But my wife i convinced that my Indian name is "Farts like Thunder".

Later,

edg
 

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