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Smoking pot while being in a band

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Tell him to get professional help for his depression (that's what his core problem is) and if he doesn't do so, fire him.

Not sure about firing him, he needs his friends right now, but I think this is absolutely right. This sounds like depression to me as well. Encourage him to seek some professional help here. The drugs and alcohol (while not exactly the best recipe for being productive and motivated) seem to be the symptom of the larger problem.
 
Some of the most brilliant music you'll hear has been written and recorded under the influence of weed. That said, not everyone can handle weed. I know people who actually get smarter and more focussed after smoking. I also know people who turn into drooling idiots. One guy actually goes blind when he smokes, no joke. Sounds like your friend is of the latter type, plus he seems to have a host of other issues.

Bottom line - his lifestyle is affecting the band, so you have to give him the ultimatum to shape up or ship out. Good luck.

I don't smoke, but I'd love to hang out with you guys!
Kinda like that friend everyone has that says "drinking makes me drive better..it makes me more careful..."........right.

Maybe it's me, but smoking has a statue of limitations on it. I never was one, but once you hit like 35, sneaking off to 'score' is unbelievably lame...18-29 or so..cool. Not so much in a mini-van. Doing keg stands and funneling beer at 35 looks just as bad.
 
maybe the weed has led him to the hard stuff. :hiding:

That's what i was thinking as well. The way you describe it makes it sound like he is doing something more than smoking weed and he does sound depressed. Trust me you wouldn't necessarily know if he is doing something stronger. My best friend has kept drug problems from me. I always knew something was wrong just didn't know exactly what it was.
 
I don't smoke, but I'd love to hang out with you guys!
Kinda like that friend everyone has that says "drinking makes me drive better..it makes me more careful..."........right.

Maybe it's me, but smoking has a statue of limitations on it. I never was one, but once you hit like 35, sneaking off to 'score' is unbelievably lame...18-29 or so..cool. Not so much in a mini-van. Doing keg stands and funneling beer at 35 looks just as bad.

that one made me LOL!!!
 
That's what i was thinking as well. The way you describe it makes it sound like he is doing something more than smoking weed and he does sound depressed. Trust me you wouldn't necessarily know if he is doing something stronger. My best friend has kept drug problems from me. I always knew something was wrong just didn't know exactly what it was.

That may be the case. I had a friend who carefully hid a crack cocaine problem from everyone for years. He put a thriving career as a studio drummer, a loving family, a beautiful house and thousands of dollars of drums up that little glass pipe. By the time his wife found out it was several years in and everyone knew but her. Denial is powerful and treacherous.
 
That may be the case. I had a friend who carefully hid a crack cocaine problem from everyone for years. He put a thriving career as a studio drummer, a loving family, a beautiful house and thousands of dollars of drums up that little glass pipe. By the time his wife found out it was several years in and everyone knew but her. Denial is powerful and treacherous.

It is a horrible disease addiction....cunning, baffling and insidious. It has no prejudice of who it can destroy. As you mentioned Roy, it takes its toll on the family and friends surrounding the addict as well. I hope your friend got help and is clean today......there is a better way.
 
I don't smoke, but I'd love to hang out with you guys!
Kinda like that friend everyone has that says "drinking makes me drive better..it makes me more careful..."........right.

Maybe it's me, but smoking has a statue of limitations on it. I never was one, but once you hit like 35, sneaking off to 'score' is unbelievably lame...18-29 or so..cool. Not so much in a mini-van. Doing keg stands and funneling beer at 35 looks just as bad.

What does age have to do with anything? And who has to 'sneak off' to do what they want to do? IME, people like yourself with little exposure to marijuana have the mindset that "alcohol messes people up,and that's legal. Weed must be really bad!", while in fact the opposite is true for most people. But, like everything else in life, moderation is key.

Funny exchange from college days:

Clean cut, military guy to hippy clasmate: "Stoned again?? Don't you realize that drugs are for those who can't handle reality??"

Hippy: "No man, you have it all wrong. Reality is for people who can't handle drugs."
 
Sounds like he might be depressed. Depression can result in (or be caused by) self-medicating behaviors. But they may, or may not be, the cause. Talk to him about it...have him (and you) do some reading about the symptoms of depression.

As an aside, practice twice a week with the entire band seems like over-kill. I would cancel once a week even if I were sober.
 
Tell him to get professional help for his depression (that's what his core problem is) and if he doesn't do so, fire him.

+10000

I'm going to put my 2 cents in on this.
It's not the pot, It's shut-in syndrome(that's not from any professional knowledge, just personal.)
Have you thought of having practice at his place? It all depends on if you want to intervene on his behalf or just cut him loose?

The other poster said tell him to get professional help.
That entails actually leaving your comfort zone; your man cave, that's not going to happen initially. My friends would tell me I need to get out and get some sunlight. That's right, I was so shut in, I had black out blinds in my house. I walked around in near total darkness. My friends nicknamed me vampire. I worked the night shift back then so everything in my life fed into the problem. Someone needs to break that pattern.

It starts with baby steps. Go to his house and practice. Then practice outside, Get some of that sunlight! Take him out for lunch. Gradually He'll start leaving his man cave. Then he can go get professional help, But someone has to do the initial intervention.

It is depression, but the shut-in syndrome is the more insidious problem.
 
I'm 50 and I have seen lots of people lose all motivation and focus on weed. I even had a friend who smoked so much he ended up having a stroke and becoming a virtual vegetable. He was healthy and in his fifties. Unfiltered smoke in your lungs is bad for your heart and brain.
Your friend needs help. If you care about him, do something to help.

BTW, people only think they play better when they are stoned out of their minds.
 
some people smoke pot. its normally not a problem- but being an unreliable lame musician is a problem he would probably have weather he smokes or not. being too stoned to "get it" at rehearsals wont help either.

he needs to get the boot.
 
don't blame the pot,.. some of my most successful friends are weed heads! you seem to be hinting that pot & music are enemies of some sort. lol,... i got this image of your talented, creative friend hitting a joint, then standing there drueling while plucking one note through the entire song. (if his weed is that strong, i'll be his friend)

some people just aren't motivated. tell him to take a break and maybe it would help HIM. the alcohol might be more at fault, yet you seem to have emphasized the pot as the reason. in my experience, pot is a great motivator, but can also be a great relaxant. YMMV

+1

It's the person who reacts, not the drug. I agree with the previous statement, sounds like your friend is only playing because he feels he is needed. Sounds like you guys can carry on without him. Let him know how you are feeling and he will make a decision.
 
Nah, he'll react like I'm the one with a problem, you know? He will and has never tried to downsize or completely quit full stop smoking weed. He has been confronted before about how he his lukewarm musicianship is affecting the band, but then he looks at us like we're just a bunch of little kids that can't handle his mojo... He's a good guy and he had a lot of talent, but he's far from a good friend right now. Trying to support his emotions and get him out of it is a no go, he's way too proud to let us near him.
 
I"m not going to get into the war, but honestly, weed does nothing for you, like alcohol does nothing for you. All of these "stimulants and depressants" are just that, something that distorts the real and makes you feel something you can't seem to feel on your own.

I don't know any great music ever written under the influence of anything. People think they are better, but they are worse. I have hours of old video of bands I know that really, when sober, kicked the livin' crap out of songs. Then, when they got some notariety and better access to illegal substances, became near blubbering idiots on stage.

Even George Martin, the real genius behind the Beatles, had said for decades he did not allow it in the studio, and not while recording. Gee, I wonder why.

In this case, the guy has been supported his whole life, actually enabled. He has a home his parents bought him. An amp you guys bought him. You never really confront him. He, in my opinion, is a lost cause.

You can still be his friend and can him. Make it clear that you get together twice a week, period. If he can't commit, then you need to find someone who can. If he feels he no longer can function in the band like everyone else, tell him you love him, care about him, but in the long run you need someone who will be part of the band.

You are free to suggest that he needs help, but my guess is that he's been told that time and time again. He won't change until he needs to. And, since he doesn't have any basic necessity that isn't being met, he doesn't need to.

If it bothers you, then its time to move on from him or this band.
 
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