Smoking pot while being in a band

[Bright Midnight]

I play in four piece band as bass player/singer/writer. 2 guitarists + drummer, all good friends. We've been rehearsing two times a week for the past 1.5 year and the creative process is flowing. But our 2nd guitar player is calling off to jam session more and more often. Yesterday he texted us he was only coming for 1 once a week anymore. I can understand life can sometimes get to you and you need your time to yourself, but he's always been like this, you just cannot count on him. Thing is he smokes pot all day, has a fairly simple day job, no kids and no rent or downpayment on his house. He owns a cabin, quite big and located in the most beautiful peace of forest. His parents bought it for him. At rehearsals we always have to spoon feed him the notes and rythms because he's so stoned he's just not able to be where the rest of us are, and every time again we have explain and re-explain even the simplest stuff. We play a mix of styles and go from soft to loud and vice versa. When we go loud he just keeps up his regular volume, playing with one finger on the neck and one (no pick) on the strings. He'll continue to play the simplest riff untill we switch into a different rythm or melody, which is when he'll just quit playing and just stand around looking stoned and not comprehending what we are doing.

I'm just tired of having to repeat even stuff we created a year ago again and again to him. He leaves his guitar at the practice room and doens't even 'think' about the songs or even how to expand his own riffs. This used to be one of the most creative people I knew, my best friend, he drew like a madman, wrote and wrote and wrote, could talk just about anything and hold his own against pretty much anyone. But now he's just a shadow of what he once was, always stoned, always with a beer in hand. He's even very touchy. I just know telling him to his face that he's gotta make a change, he'll just be all personal about it and leave. The guy is 37....

Yesterday the three of us talked it over and we felt entirely the same + we jammed like mad!

Any advice or simillar stories?

 

[nemo]

He is lucky to have your band as friends - use it to take him out of this habit - he will thank you in the long run. I would even show him your post/thread here..

Tip - make a video footage of your gig or even rehearsal - make him to see it when he is sober.
Under influence every simple sh*t sounds genius to the stoned person. When sober - he will realize how he is lagging behind in his performance.

 

[icks]

That must be a very bad feeling to see his best friend become a total looser.

What put him in this weed situation ? Girlfriend? Some other friend? If so, he has to stop seeing them, try to spend more time with him to shortcut other aquintances.

If he's not willing to quit smoking weed, it will leave an very difficult situation between you (the band) and him. But he, only, has to do the first step. The fact that he angries when you tell him about, is that he knows he is in a bad shape but think he's not strong enough to do it.

If you think he deserves it, try to help him the best you can. If not, make him leave the band.

 

[Jonathan1990]

I don't get it. You give us this description of who he is and what he does, yet you call him a guitarist.

 

[Marko 1]

Living alone and somewhat isolated, it’s easy to overdo the pot thing (if you’re a pot smoker).

Leaving his guitar at the rehearsal space, preferring to be high instead of jam, and now cutting down getting together kinda indicates that he’s bored with the band thing.

Maybe two separate issues.

 

[pacojas]

don't blame the pot,.. some of my most successful friends are weed heads! you seem to be hinting that pot & music are enemies of some sort. lol,... i got this image of your talented, creative friend hitting a joint, then standing there drueling while plucking one note through the entire song. (if his weed is that strong, i'll be his friend)

some people just aren't motivated. tell him to take a break and maybe it would help HIM. the alcohol might be more at fault, yet you seem to have emphasized the pot as the reason. in my experience, pot is a great motivator, but can also be a great relaxant. YMMV

 

[Bright Midnight]

Well, he used to be a very outgoing person, but now he doesn’t even come out of his house anymore. As I said he used to be my very best friend, but he never even comes to visit me and my by now two year old girl – I had to go and see him with her. Kind of hurts when people treat you like that. As he didn’t have the cash to buy a decent amp our lead guitarist spent 700 Euro’s on an excellent Fender Twinverb for him. One rehearsal he said he was feeling bad and tired and wouldn’t make it to the jam. In a hurry he flew over to the practition room, which is at our drummer’s house and took home the Twinverb while his only buddy was with him. Per accident this buddy of his is a starting drummer and they smoke together. Of course we were pissed at being treated like this. I mean we did everything we could to get him into the songs and get him decent material, and he was just lying about being sick. Last Monday he went to a concert of a band he didn’t even know, but his buddy told him he would like it, so he skipped jams once again and went to a concert. It’s a bad feeling when a good guy and real good friend turns himself away from real life and gets lost in his own self. Sure, his girl left him about 4 years ago, but that has also something to do with doing nothing but blowing anymore and quite basically letting yourself slide off into emptiness. She got mad about it and was herself full of life and looking for ‘progress’, while he was doing the opposite. He’s doing the same thing with our band now.

 

[Liam Wald]

Pot effects everyone differently. Personally I like the stuff but don't care for it when I am playing as it makes me space out the timing and forget parts.
I have been in lots of bands that smoked at gigs and rehearsals. It never made it easier or more productiive and although it always made everyone think they sounded better than they did, eveyone actually sounded worse.

 

[jamisonsalamand]

I agree, it's not the pot that's the issue, it's your friend's integrity and will power. If people can't stop smoking weed and let it ruin everything else in their life, it's because they're a loser, not because of the weed. Point it out to him what things are like because of his issue, record it on video so he can see, and tell him you guys aren't gonna deal with it anymore

 

[dalkowski]

Your heart's in the right place, but you can't fix his weed issue for him. He's not bringing anything to the picnic where your band is concerned and he thinks his behavior is OK. He doesn't care enough. He's holding your band back, so it's time to cut him loose. If he really cares about being in your band, maybe that'll be the jolt he needs to get his act together.

Make it about the band, not the weed. "We haven't been able to count on you to attend practices and learn the music. Sorry, but we need someone more reliable and committed."

 

[HeadyVan Halen]

don't blame the pot,.. some of my most successful friends are weed heads! you seem to be hinting that pot & music are enemies of some sort. lol,... i got this image of your talented, creative friend hitting a joint, then standing there drueling while plucking one note through the entire song. (if his weed is that strong, i'll be his friend)

some people just aren't motivated. tell him to take a break and maybe it would help HIM. the alcohol might be more at fault, yet you seem to have emphasized the pot as the reason. in my experience, pot is a great motivator, but can also be a great relaxant. YMMV

'blame it on the al-al-al-i-alcohol blame it on the...."
Love weed heads who give there conspiracy theory on the subject.
Bottom line, any behavior left unchecked, can result in negative effects....even if he was taking 4,000 mg of Vitamin C a day.
Here's the truth, he would find any excuse to use and not be productive. Doesn't matter where he lives, job, what you guys bought him.
He doesn't care. Until you realize that, you'll be babysitting.

 

[SteveHeissner]

Fire that Sumbich. All he cares about is himself. He has no regard for your time and the effort your band puts into music. He's made his decision. He'd rather be a stoner than a musician.

 

[interp]

Tell him to get professional help for his depression (that's what his core problem is) and if he doesn't do so, fire him.

 

[Waffles and Scotch]

This sounds like a pretty severe form of depression brought on by the constant use of herb and alcohol, and his GF leaving probably put him over the edge. As pacojas suggested, I think alcohol has more to do with this than herb. The combination of both, over a long period of time, can bring on pretty severe anxiety and depression. Also, the lack of activity and social contact can be a catalyst for this type of behavior as it decreases ones ability to interact socially, since they have nothing to talk about, and can often feel like they're being judged by others for their habits. Which in turn can cause paranoia, pushing them further and further from reality.

My $.02? Find a way to talk to him about it. Pick him up in your car and drive somewhere, then start a conversation about where he's headed and how he got there. See how it goes. That way, he can't just walk away, and you won't embarass him by having an "intervention" with the whole band there. Worst case scenario, you lose a guitar player, but keep a best friend who will hopefully come around in due time and become a normal member of society.

 

[pacojas]

maybe the weed has led him to the hard stuff.

 

[Hawkbone]

Some of the most brilliant music you'll hear has been written and recorded under the influence of weed. That said, not everyone can handle weed. I know people who actually get smarter and more focussed after smoking. I also know people who turn into drooling idiots. One guy actually goes blind when he smokes, no joke. Sounds like your friend is of the latter type, plus he seems to have a host of other issues.

Bottom line - his lifestyle is affecting the band, so you have to give him the ultimatum to shape up or ship out. Good luck.

 

[Floridabwoy]

I would do try this. Meet him halfway. Try to keep him sober for the first half of practice and run through the songs. Then take a smoke break and Jam for the second half. My guitar player goes into noodleland when he smokes. We have to reel him in sometimes. It is frustrating when you are trying to nail down changes, but it does have its own potential. Some good songs idea's come out of jamming, or you can take different progressions and fit them together for new songs.

Record everything.

 

[worxforme]

We held on to a guy like that, a best friend from Kindergarten.

My wife and I were watching a video from our touring days and she said, "You guys might have made it big if you didn't have him in the band."

I think she was overstating it a bit, but my point is: You can't drag a boat anchor and expect to get anywhere.

 

[punkinfantry]

in my vast experience with herbalizing, music and weed go hand in hand. smoking all day, however, will turn you into a vegetable. a little goes a long way.

 

[Floridabwoy]

a little goes a long way.

well put.