I have mine set to "do not disturb" except for a few select phone numbers. Maybe 25. Anyone else can leave a message....or not.
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Snappy retorts to telemarketers
- Thread starter slobake
- Start date
I had to read this 3 times to figure out whether your son learned to speak after the age of 14
Decades ago I visited my dad at his place. This was in the days of land lines and no cell phones. We were about to leave for a restaurant, and the phone rings. It's a telemarketer. Dad says, "This is a bad time. I'm going out to eat with my son." Telemarketer says, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. When would be a good time to call?" My dad says, "In half an hour, because I won't be here."
I always answer with:
"Congratulations, you've just won an opportunity to listen to a technically challenging bass solo!"
They always hang up immediately and never call back.
"Congratulations, you've just won an opportunity to listen to a technically challenging bass solo!"
They always hang up immediately and never call back.
Last edited:
"County morgue, you kill em, we chill em..."
If it's a guy I accuse them of seeing my wife on the sly.
If it's a girl I accuse them of seeing my wife on the sly.
If it's a girl I accuse them of seeing my wife on the sly.
Sometimes I'll just say nonsense words in a non-existent foreign language.
Sometimes I'll ask them if their mother knows what they do for a living. Does your mother know you try to scam people on the phone. That always gets a hang up.
Mostly I just don't answer the phone.
My mobile gets 3 or 4 calls a day with the pre-approved personal loan scam. I never answer those.
Sometimes I'll ask them if their mother knows what they do for a living. Does your mother know you try to scam people on the phone. That always gets a hang up.
Mostly I just don't answer the phone.
My mobile gets 3 or 4 calls a day with the pre-approved personal loan scam. I never answer those.
- Apr 18, 2008
- 16,007
- 1
- 31,705
- Disclosures
- I'm highly opinionated and extremely self-assured
You actually answer your phone?!?
How quaint.
How quaint.
It's fun to mess with them. I have all day to find stuff to do.
Oh yeah. There's the weekly AT&T "Checking to see if your service has any issues" call. Well, no. Since we don't have AT&T!
Deafening feedback using a Randall 2x12 guitar amp!
In 1998 my parents and grandma left Oregon for Colorado. I was in Eugene and drove to their house to get some stuff they left behind for me. One of the items was a big-buttoned speaker phone, which I thought could be fun. It had a microphone, which I wired up to a guitar cable and could use the amp while on the phone. Got a telemarketer for some such, so I thought I'd have some fun. I was on the couch with the amp ten foot directly in front of me when the call happened, so I held the mic close to my mouth and talked like I was interested. While they went on with the speech, I aimed the mic at the amp and it went SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I apologized while making insane noises and told them to call back in a minute and I'll fix the phone.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! SOMETHING IS WRONG I'M SO SORRY CALL ME BACK!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING MY GOD THIS IS INSANE!
They hung up and never called again.
FIN!
In 1998 my parents and grandma left Oregon for Colorado. I was in Eugene and drove to their house to get some stuff they left behind for me. One of the items was a big-buttoned speaker phone, which I thought could be fun. It had a microphone, which I wired up to a guitar cable and could use the amp while on the phone. Got a telemarketer for some such, so I thought I'd have some fun. I was on the couch with the amp ten foot directly in front of me when the call happened, so I held the mic close to my mouth and talked like I was interested. While they went on with the speech, I aimed the mic at the amp and it went SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I apologized while making insane noises and told them to call back in a minute and I'll fix the phone.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! SOMETHING IS WRONG I'M SO SORRY CALL ME BACK!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING MY GOD THIS IS INSANE!
They hung up and never called again.
FIN!
Oof. Glad this didn't end with a wellness check being called to your house...
This is what I do as well. I simply don't have the energy and I'm not interested in ruining anyone's day with swears and yelling (I get a fair amount of that at work myself. My wife, an ED nurse, gets way more of it though.) If I were more creative though, I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with making a telemarketer's day more surreal...
edwinhurwitz
Supporting Member
Nah, he had a monstrous vocabulary by 18 months when his favorite word was "absurd"!
I can do a pretty good Hannibal Lecter voice.
"Hello, Clarice".
The Scammer Payback guy on YouTube is ruthless. He has destroyed entire call centers.
"Hello, Clarice".
The Scammer Payback guy on YouTube is ruthless. He has destroyed entire call centers.
^^This^^
I used to answer the phone with "I'm so glad you called. I was just praying for someone to share the Gospel with and wouldn't you know my phone rings!" Worked great until the telemarketer on other end wanted to tell me about his lord and savior. Pretty sure that dude got let go that very day.
I used to abuse telemarketers and kind of feel bad for doing that. These are people trying to stay afloat but holy cow find another way to earn a living. I spent years in sales and was fairly good at it - but I digress.
So many golden answers and approaches here.
I have a different take on that.
These are not jobs that anyone should be proud of. Basically, they're being paid to annoy and harass people in order to bully them into buying goods or services that are pretty much worthless scams.
I think it's perfectly fine to waste their time and annoy them right back. If enough people reacted that way, nobody would be willing to work as a telemarketer anymore and the world would be a better place.
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
No one takes these jobs because they like doing them. I sold insurance for a year, not realizing how much blind calling there was. I hated it.
These people are rated on how many calls they make. If they don't make their quotas, they get harassed by their managers, and their jobs threatened.
Telemarketing isn't going anywhere. More is going to autobot and overseas, where people will do anything for work. Youe crusade may seem fun to you, but it won't do anything to stop the problem.
