Years ago after the big telephone companies were broken up, telemarketers would call people selling long distance telephone services. I would tell the caller that I did not have a telephone.
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Snappy retorts to telemarketers
- Thread starter slobake
- Start date
When my son was young, he was a huge Star Wars fan. So, trying to be a cool dad, I memorized Greedo's lines (his "Rodian" language) from the Mos Eisley cantina scene in the original 1977 Star Wars movie Episode IV - A New Hope. It's the scene where Greedo talks with Han Solo. I memorized the entire scene. So when a telemarketer calls, I immediately start speaking Greedo's lines as if that is the only language I speak. It stumps them every time, and I never hear from that telemarketer again. 
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‘City morgue…
We slice em
dice em
filet em and ice em.
We offer two for one specials. How may I help you?’
We slice em
dice em
filet em and ice em.
We offer two for one specials. How may I help you?’
many are robocalls. if I suspect, I ask them what day it is. that usually is a non compute and sends them on a stupid loop
Years ago when you used to get the telemarketer begging for you to use their credit card, I actually had one hang up on me LOL I wasn't abusive or verbally crazy, but I basically used common sense back at him and he had no answer so he hung up LOL
I don't get telemarketing calls (rarely do I even get calls from a number I don't recognize, at least on my personal phone) but I do get pig butchering scam texts. If I'm bored I like to string them along with absurd answers. At one point I'd been engaging with someone for a couple of hours when "she" asked me to get WhatsApp. Oh no, I said, I don't have that on my phone.
You can get it from the app store!
Ok, where is that? Is that like the T-Mobile store? We have one in town, but they closed at 5.
No, the app store on your phone!
I don't have an app store on my phone. There's an Albertson's next door, do you think they have it?
...and so on until the scammer finally got frustrated and stopped engaging.
I had a blast.
You can get it from the app store!
Ok, where is that? Is that like the T-Mobile store? We have one in town, but they closed at 5.
No, the app store on your phone!
I don't have an app store on my phone. There's an Albertson's next door, do you think they have it?
...and so on until the scammer finally got frustrated and stopped engaging.
I had a blast.
edwinhurwitz
Supporting Member
My favorite was when my 14 year old was pre-verbal but very expressive. Putting him on the phone was the best. And then later, once his vocabulary kicked into high gear (he knew 2000 words by 20 months), it was even better, as he has always loved to talk.
edwinhurwitz
Supporting Member
I did it for a few months, selling affinity credit cards. It was weird, some were for the NRA and others were for a gay action network. The latter had me calling much more interesting people, and even a couple of somewhat famous musicians. However, I got fired. I just didn't feel right doing it, because the amount that went to the causes was so small. My dad was never so proud!
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
Remember, most of these people are working these jobs because it's the best job they could get. They are just trying to pay their bills. Unless they get obnoxious, I generally just hang up.
I once was getting the "your vehicle's warranty is about to expire" scam calls every day. So one day I decided to have some fun and pressed 1.
Guy picks up the phone and says, "Make and model of your vehicle?"
"What, you mean you don't know?"
"Don't know what?"
"The make and model of my vehicle. Your call says my warranty is about to expire. How do you know that and not know what kind of car I drive?"
<CLICK>
That was the end of that particular scammer.
Guy picks up the phone and says, "Make and model of your vehicle?"
"What, you mean you don't know?"
"Don't know what?"
"The make and model of my vehicle. Your call says my warranty is about to expire. How do you know that and not know what kind of car I drive?"
<CLICK>
That was the end of that particular scammer.
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- Dec 21, 2007
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I was in a mood, and when a male telemarketer called, I asked, in my huskiest voice "What are you wearing?... (heavy breathing). I''m not wearing anything at all, and you sound so handsome...". It was clear that it squicked him out and felt just the teensiest bit bad... I never did it again (partly because now I don't answer calls from unknown numbers.
I also (back in the day) used to do the "I'm SO glad you called!" bit, going on and on about how my car kept breaking down and I really needed a warranty to pay for the repairs and what each of my friends and relatives said to me about it - not giving them a chance to say a word until they finally hung up.
Lastly I used to answer, say "can you please hold on a minute?" and then walk away from the phone to do something else.
Nowadays with robo-dialers all the fun has gone out of telemarketers.
I also (back in the day) used to do the "I'm SO glad you called!" bit, going on and on about how my car kept breaking down and I really needed a warranty to pay for the repairs and what each of my friends and relatives said to me about it - not giving them a chance to say a word until they finally hung up.
Lastly I used to answer, say "can you please hold on a minute?" and then walk away from the phone to do something else.
Nowadays with robo-dialers all the fun has gone out of telemarketers.
I'm getting calls from a mediccare/food benefits thing.
They always open with "we see your Medicare file has not been updated".
After about the 3rd call I asked them what was the name on the file. Then instead of answering the question they start on their diatribe.
If they really had my file pulled up they would know my name lol
Click !
They always open with "we see your Medicare file has not been updated".
After about the 3rd call I asked them what was the name on the file. Then instead of answering the question they start on their diatribe.
If they really had my file pulled up they would know my name lol
Click !
(Insert name) do what you have to do to keep a roof over your head, but know that you are better than this. Never settle, always look for the better opportunity and make it happen.
I don't know if that ever mattered to anyone, but as a teacher I hoped maybe it nudged someone.
And talk about a field being gutted by AI.
I don't know if that ever mattered to anyone, but as a teacher I hoped maybe it nudged someone.
And talk about a field being gutted by AI.
Answer with:
It's done! But there's blood everywhere.
Hang up and let them wonder what they have stumbled into.
It's done! But there's blood everywhere.
Hang up and let them wonder what they have stumbled into.
A former coworker with an off the wall sense of humor answered and said, sorry buddy I can't talk now. The neighbor just left and I have run next door to %#@* his wife. Was answered with really man. He hung up.
