This is for all you victims out there, so you can see how a Marine would cope in the face of adversity. Last night I decided to make some of my world-famous spaghetti sauce for my family. Now usually, I make a very rustic sauce, with larger chunks of tomato, peppers, animal, mushrooms, etc. But last night, I felt that something a little smoother would be nice. You know, break up the ground animal a little finer, puree the tomatoes a bit, maybe grate the onions rather than dice them. Ahhh, yes, grate the onions. We have a pretty nice grater, one with a little container at the bottom to catch all the gratings. So I peel the onion, and slice it in two, and get down to grating. It makes kind of a nice little puree of onion, that I cook right with the meat. Except tonight, the puree will have a small fragment of fingertip in it. Yes sir, my finger slipped off the onion and, sure enough, that little grater took about a sixteenth-inch-deep nick right out of the very tip of my right-hand bone finger. It's about a quarter-inch long and a sixteenth wide. Now, for a victim, this is a potential lawsuit against the manufacturer of the grater, the grower of the onion, and the store who sold them to me. For a non-bass-playing Marine, it's inconsequential ... just a source of minor pain to be enjoyed. But there are complications. For one, I take the rat-poison, warfarin, to thin my blood. Coagualtion is difficult for me. I'm standing there, bleeding like a stuck pig, applying pressure, trying to get the bleeding to stop. When it slows down, I put two bandaids across the tip of my finger and, within a few minutes, they're both soaked through with blood. So I left them on for a while, then after it quit bleeding, I took them off. Of course, the bandaid had stuck to the wound, so the bleeding started back up. OK, so it was easier to get it to stop this time, and I rounded up some liquid bandage. I laid a thick layer over the gash, and applied two fresh bandaids and left them on all night. OK, so this morning, the edges of the wound are now turning white from being dead skin, but the bleeding is under control. You're probably wondering, "How is this miscellaneous?" Alrighty then. Problem number two. Of course, my right bone finger is half of the team I use for finger-style picking, which is pretty much all I do. No prob, under ordinary circumstances, but this Wednesday night is the audition for a keyboard player that could be the last component of my new band, Silverback. Of course, he's auditioning us as much as we are him, so I want to be at my best. That, plus I have ten songs to learn by Wednesday (although I already know some of them). So what am I going to do? I'm going to take off the bandaids, add a little liquid bandage, and play my new white Sadowsky. If it starts to bleed, it'll look great dripping down that white paint. That's right, I'm going to tough it out. So all you whiners, shut up. Actually, I was thinking about getting one of those little rubber fingertip thingies that bank tellers use when they're counting money, and put that on my bone finger but, no, I'm just going to take a chance. P.S. So would you rather read this, or McFerrin on economics?