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SpankyPants needs our Prayers...Please READ!! UPDATED

#201
SpankyPants said:
Yeah, but why should I be punished? I didn't do anything wrong. I wanted only good things. I wanted good things for her and for me. And she's ****ing my life up. If I get convicted, this is never gonna leave me. I've been punished over and over and over again. This whole year has been a sequence of "punishment." I've never done anything to anyone. I'm a pacifist. I want to be happy, and I love to make people happy. I'm affectionate. I'm sensitive. I'm so tired of this happening to me. I just wanted to do the right thing, and I'm the one being ruined.

**** me. I can't do this. I can't go back to prison. I didn't do anything. I just wanted good things, and this is how it always ends up. I'm trying so hard to keep going, but it's so hard. Man it's so hard. I don't know why this is happening to me. God, I can't do this.
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OK, Deep breaths man ;). Are they still going to reduce the charge to a misdemeaner? If so (and I assume you have no previous record) there should be no jail time at all. Even if you are convicted of the misdemeaner, no job apps ask for misdemeaners, just felonies. A misdemeaner is no big deal at all.

You can do this Brad, I know it doesn't seem like it at times but there are a lot of people here who believe you can and there is a reason for that. We are usually capable of a lot more than we give ourselves credit for, this is a growing experience for you and growing hurts sometimes but you will be a stronger and better person when this is all over, trust me on this k?

Stop worrying about her well being, she knows you are and will use it to her advantage. Not putting her interests in this will help you a lot and there is nothing wrong with that, she has voluntarily given up all rights to have you care, it was her choice not yours.

Hang tough Brad, when you feel beaten down, come here and we will be more than happy to lift you back up bro!!!!!!


EDIT: a huge +1 to what Maki said!!!!!
 
#203
Whatever you do, Spanky, make ZERO contact with her. That includes "grapevine" messages.

NOTHING. Let it all settle down until the hearing...and then, when it's your turn to speak, look at the judge...right in the eye, and then ask him "permission to have an uninterrupted moment to speak frankly, and freely to you, your honor?", and then tell him exactly what you've told us...I find it hard to believe that anything bad will come of this if you can do that.

Be strong...and stay FAR away from this nutbag broad, dude.
 
#204
Wow. Just hang in. The truth will come out in the end and you will be vindicated.

If she really might have Borderline Personality Disorder, you should visit these sites for advice:

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Your attorney might want to demand that she be evaluated. BPD's are insidious liars.

Good Luck!
 
#206
Marley's Ghost said:
Your attorney might want to demand that she be evaluated. BPD's are insidious liars.
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Man, ain't THAT the truth. I (unknowingly) dated one. What a freakshow...she lied, stole from me, cheated...just amazing stuff. Sociopathic.

It might be worth hiring a private investigator. If there is any public record of her diagnosis, you could have the charges dropped on the basis of this alone. Good advice...check with your lawyer, and mention it.
 
#207
Hang tough, Spanks. The DA is doing everything she can to win. She just cares about getting the win, not actually "protecting the victim", or seeing that justice is properly served - that's up to the judge and/or jury.

As for the "why", she's a nut-bag. Your ex obviously has no intention of doing anything but harming you in order to get attention for herself. There is no reason in the world to be concerned with her well-being any longer.

You're a good guy with a big heart, Brad. There will be someone for you to share that with when the time is right. Right now, it's time for you to find yourself again and remember that you are a good and valuable person.
 
#208
Brother, you have to hang on, please! If any of us here could fix this for you, we would in a heartbeat. This is going to be tough, but please have faith. I am praying for you everyday. My offer always stands, you can call me night or day, you have my number, I would be happy to talk with you, if I can do anything...please do not hesitate. We may not really know each other, but WE are all Family here.

You are not alone my Brother!
 
#209
Been gone for a while, and am just now catching up with what's going on TB.

Brad, my thoughts are with you all the way from Iraq. Keep fighting man... you're gonna get through this because you're in the right, and you know it. It sounds like everyone around you knows it. Lean on your family, and talk to the people who know both you and your ex about testifying on your behalf. It's a tough time, but keep your chin up... you're gonna be fine in the end.
 
#212
It's the DA's job to prosecute when they think there's a reason to. Place yourself in the DA's shoes... could you ignore the wild claims about some crazy boyfriend violating her rights? The system is biased towards women, but only for so much. On the note of her illness... even if she has BPD, the DA doesn't necessarily know that. And if they do, you can bet they won't mention it... so it will be the job of your defense to exploit that.

Use that courtroom to your advantage, and make sure a diagnosis of her condition is demanded. Be honest, watch your temper, and go in knowing what the laws are.

A lot of cases can be won on technicalities. Trespassing is only trespassing if the requirements of the legal definition are met.

And yeah, one day, I'm going to be a predator of the worst kind... :hiding:
 

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