Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
SpankyPants needs our Prayers...Please READ!! UPDATED
- Thread starter markjazzbassist
- Start date
This ****'s just sick man...
Did I accually get that part about WWI-prisoner conditions just because you tried to kill yourself right? Where you even in a normal prison? People in Finland doesn't even get sent to prison if they try to kill themselves, they're sent to a mental hospital for care.
Anyhow, if your ex-gf has a mental condition and is just making **** up, they haven't got a case against you. Just tell your lawyer everything, keep as far as possible away from her, and try to relax even though it's hard. I've had relatives go through similar things, and still I can even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you, but just hang in there and you'll see that things turn out for the better. And as I said earlier, make sure your lawyer knows everything, and I do mean everything, since any stuff they don't know about can seriously harm your defence if they hear it for the first time in court from the DA.
And even though I'm an atheist, you have my prayers!
Did I accually get that part about WWI-prisoner conditions just because you tried to kill yourself right? Where you even in a normal prison? People in Finland doesn't even get sent to prison if they try to kill themselves, they're sent to a mental hospital for care.
Anyhow, if your ex-gf has a mental condition and is just making **** up, they haven't got a case against you. Just tell your lawyer everything, keep as far as possible away from her, and try to relax even though it's hard. I've had relatives go through similar things, and still I can even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you, but just hang in there and you'll see that things turn out for the better. And as I said earlier, make sure your lawyer knows everything, and I do mean everything, since any stuff they don't know about can seriously harm your defence if they hear it for the first time in court from the DA.
And even though I'm an atheist, you have my prayers!
I don't know what to add, other than I personally am thinking about you and wish you the best. I feel like crying for you bro'.
Prayers with you...God never sends more than we can handle, so you must be one strong man (whether you know it or not).
Don't let the phone call bother you. The DA's job is to prosecute, and this could be a way to make you think about taking a plea rather than risk a jury hearing the truth in court. Fight it, you've certainly got one heck of a support group behind you!
-Mark
Don't let the phone call bother you. The DA's job is to prosecute, and this could be a way to make you think about taking a plea rather than risk a jury hearing the truth in court. Fight it, you've certainly got one heck of a support group behind you!
-Mark
Hey Spanky,
I was just wondering where you'd gotten to the other day. I sincerely hope you're situation resolves itself asap. However $**** yhour current situation is- It will get better. We all hope sooner rather than later. Try and keep busy-You're a much missed man over in the effects forum.
I was just wondering where you'd gotten to the other day. I sincerely hope you're situation resolves itself asap. However $**** yhour current situation is- It will get better. We all hope sooner rather than later. Try and keep busy-You're a much missed man over in the effects forum.
Hey Spanky,
I just read up this thread, having no idea what happened to you since I left the efx forum for a while. You are a brave person for lasting through this ordeal, don't let anything inconsequential affect you, listen to your family and friends.
If there is any help you need, be it financial or testimonials-wise, I'm sure it can be worked out here! Just let us know, open up a new thread, anything. I don't pray, but you'll always be on my mind.
Kelvin.
Singapore.
I just read up this thread, having no idea what happened to you since I left the efx forum for a while. You are a brave person for lasting through this ordeal, don't let anything inconsequential affect you, listen to your family and friends.
If there is any help you need, be it financial or testimonials-wise, I'm sure it can be worked out here! Just let us know, open up a new thread, anything. I don't pray, but you'll always be on my mind.
Kelvin.
Singapore.
Hey man I'll speak to you soon I get my internet sorted in 2 weeks hopefully but as I've said to you before sooner or later it has to get better 
like when you start sueing people and you can buy everything on that Spanky Wish List
Worst case I know places you can stay in none extradition countries
like when you start sueing people and you can buy everything on that Spanky Wish List Worst case I know places you can stay in none extradition countries
good luck with this i've had similar experiences with bipolar women not to the same extent but i know how soul destroying it can be
Spanky, when is your next legal hearing? What is the next step, or next date you have to face? Just want a timeframe when to expect another actual update from the courts. Kinda want to gauge the timeline of this and to understand how quickly/slowly the case is being processed. Cuz if this is gonna be resolved in a few weeks, that's acceptable. If this draws out to months and months, for whatever BS reasons, this just prolongs the suffering. Keep us updated bro...
May you find comfort in HIM. "In daylight or in darkness, I have no need to fear; I know that I'm protected."
Hey guys,
There hasn't been much progress since the last time I posted. I have an arraignment on Dec 3rd, and that's all that I know. It seems to be a pretty slow-moving process. Also, I've been talking to my lawyer about demanding that she gets an evaluation, but it doesn't look like we will be able to do much.
Otherwise, things are still pretty shaky. Like I've told many of you, things are very "up and down." I'll have a good few days, and then I'll fall apart. Work is going well, though. Last sunday was especially good:
I've been working open-close almost everyday, and I've been trying to play music as much as possible in between. My father gave me one of his acoustic guitars from 1969, so I've been trying to learn how to play that. I've been giving drum lessons too. But sometimes I still get lost in all of this. I had bought a $75 ticket to see Tool, but I couldn't go because she was going. I can't go out to see any shows, anyway. But having to sit at home through the ordeal was torture. Not that I wanted to see Tool that badly, but just because I have such little control over almost anything. I'm imprisoned in my own house. So often I'm just left in a state of anxiousness like this. I can't bring myself to do anything but become completely overwhelmed, and I get stuck there. There is no rest at times like that, just the confusion, loneliness, and emptiness. It's crippling to me.
Today, the guy that she's been fooling around with since August came into work. Since the beginning, he's been involved in a lot of her lies and shenanigans. I immediately hid in the backroom. I can't describe the feelings in that moment. I was frightened, angry, threatened, ashamed, devastated. My skin was crawling. I didn't know what I would have done to him had I not hidden back there. It took me more than an hour to calm down. My lawyer had me document the time and date because infringing on my workplace is a form a harassment. He knows I work there. He could go somewhere else for coffee. My lawyer was saying that my he and my ex were probably trying to provoke a response out of me, so I'd have another mark against my character in court. Things like this completely destroy me, and it takes days to put myself back together again.
On the upside, I had a good holiday. I spent Thanksgiving with my immediate family and my grandmother. Oddly enough, we didn't have any turkey at all. Leave it to cajuns... We did have brisket, gumbo, red beans and rice, and a few other dishes like that. But it was good to be together again. I don't get to see my father and brother very often, so it was a treat to spend some time with them.
On that note, I want to thank my family here. Sometimes I just sit down and reread the whole thread. I love you guys, each and every one of you. So many of you are contacting me with words of encouragement, and it really does help. Everytime I sit down to check my email, I find another message to help me keep moving forward. When things seem so hopeless, it's an incredible relief to remember all of the prayers and good wishes sent to me from all over the globe. It really does help lift my spirits, and it gives me so many reasons to stay positive. Sometimes I do become desperate, like in my last post, but it's always calming to have someone around to remind me to catch my breath. I have so much love and appreciation for every one of you. I really do.
Magneezius: I'm not quite sure that I understand what you're trying to say. Yes, I have been having problems with my faith and suicidal feelings. Both of these are very big issues that I'm trying to swallow or even wrap my head around. It's been a very tough time trying to deal with them, and it's a battle that I continue to fight everyday. Somedays it's not so hard, somedays I'm barely hanging on. I don't know how much you can truly understand either struggle, but the only thing the TB community has done is to make things easier. I don't have any control over my current situation. I don't have a whole lot to keep me going. I don't even understand much of what's going on. Prayers are what I've got. I sent out a request for prayers, and I'm extremely thankful to have so many people rooting for me. However, if you choose not to, that's your prerogative, and that's fine. But please be aware that I am trying very hard right now.
My sister gave me a quote the other day: I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa. I've seen many of you reiterate the same sentiment here. I'm trying to have faith and to give all that I can to Him, but I'd be lying if I said that I don't get discouraged. All the little things are great big things for me right now, so it doesn't always take a lot to build me up or tear me down. This silly forum has become so important to me. When I find myself in such a low place, I can't stress how much it helps to come and read this. I can't thank you all enough. I really mean it.
Much love to you all.
There hasn't been much progress since the last time I posted. I have an arraignment on Dec 3rd, and that's all that I know. It seems to be a pretty slow-moving process. Also, I've been talking to my lawyer about demanding that she gets an evaluation, but it doesn't look like we will be able to do much.
Otherwise, things are still pretty shaky. Like I've told many of you, things are very "up and down." I'll have a good few days, and then I'll fall apart. Work is going well, though. Last sunday was especially good:
I've been working open-close almost everyday, and I've been trying to play music as much as possible in between. My father gave me one of his acoustic guitars from 1969, so I've been trying to learn how to play that. I've been giving drum lessons too. But sometimes I still get lost in all of this. I had bought a $75 ticket to see Tool, but I couldn't go because she was going. I can't go out to see any shows, anyway. But having to sit at home through the ordeal was torture. Not that I wanted to see Tool that badly, but just because I have such little control over almost anything. I'm imprisoned in my own house. So often I'm just left in a state of anxiousness like this. I can't bring myself to do anything but become completely overwhelmed, and I get stuck there. There is no rest at times like that, just the confusion, loneliness, and emptiness. It's crippling to me.
Today, the guy that she's been fooling around with since August came into work. Since the beginning, he's been involved in a lot of her lies and shenanigans. I immediately hid in the backroom. I can't describe the feelings in that moment. I was frightened, angry, threatened, ashamed, devastated. My skin was crawling. I didn't know what I would have done to him had I not hidden back there. It took me more than an hour to calm down. My lawyer had me document the time and date because infringing on my workplace is a form a harassment. He knows I work there. He could go somewhere else for coffee. My lawyer was saying that my he and my ex were probably trying to provoke a response out of me, so I'd have another mark against my character in court. Things like this completely destroy me, and it takes days to put myself back together again.
On the upside, I had a good holiday. I spent Thanksgiving with my immediate family and my grandmother. Oddly enough, we didn't have any turkey at all. Leave it to cajuns... We did have brisket, gumbo, red beans and rice, and a few other dishes like that. But it was good to be together again. I don't get to see my father and brother very often, so it was a treat to spend some time with them.
On that note, I want to thank my family here. Sometimes I just sit down and reread the whole thread. I love you guys, each and every one of you. So many of you are contacting me with words of encouragement, and it really does help. Everytime I sit down to check my email, I find another message to help me keep moving forward. When things seem so hopeless, it's an incredible relief to remember all of the prayers and good wishes sent to me from all over the globe. It really does help lift my spirits, and it gives me so many reasons to stay positive. Sometimes I do become desperate, like in my last post, but it's always calming to have someone around to remind me to catch my breath. I have so much love and appreciation for every one of you. I really do.
Magneezius: I'm not quite sure that I understand what you're trying to say. Yes, I have been having problems with my faith and suicidal feelings. Both of these are very big issues that I'm trying to swallow or even wrap my head around. It's been a very tough time trying to deal with them, and it's a battle that I continue to fight everyday. Somedays it's not so hard, somedays I'm barely hanging on. I don't know how much you can truly understand either struggle, but the only thing the TB community has done is to make things easier. I don't have any control over my current situation. I don't have a whole lot to keep me going. I don't even understand much of what's going on. Prayers are what I've got. I sent out a request for prayers, and I'm extremely thankful to have so many people rooting for me. However, if you choose not to, that's your prerogative, and that's fine. But please be aware that I am trying very hard right now.
My sister gave me a quote the other day: I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa. I've seen many of you reiterate the same sentiment here. I'm trying to have faith and to give all that I can to Him, but I'd be lying if I said that I don't get discouraged. All the little things are great big things for me right now, so it doesn't always take a lot to build me up or tear me down. This silly forum has become so important to me. When I find myself in such a low place, I can't stress how much it helps to come and read this. I can't thank you all enough. I really mean it.
Much love to you all.
More good mojo and prayers to you, Brad. I think good thoughts for you often. Keep hanging on. Thing WILL get better.
Great to hear from you Brad!!!!!!
Does your boss know what is going on? If so tell him/her that the new BF is coming in to harass you. If he/she sees it as a detriment to the place of business then he/she will probably support having them both refused service and removed from the premises (I worked with a lady who's ex husband pulled some crap like this and we had the cops haul him away a few times).
God always throws a lot of crap at us, it always seems like more than we can handle but it never is, He knows us better than we do. Look at it as an incredible compliment, you are strong enough to deal with all of this and that has to be pretty strong!!!!!!!
It is just really really hard to be strong sometimes though, you just need to choose to be.
I have gained a great deal of respect for you in all of this, you are pretty amazing to pullthrough this!!!!
Still prayin' for ya buddy!!!!!! john
Does your boss know what is going on? If so tell him/her that the new BF is coming in to harass you. If he/she sees it as a detriment to the place of business then he/she will probably support having them both refused service and removed from the premises (I worked with a lady who's ex husband pulled some crap like this and we had the cops haul him away a few times).
God always throws a lot of crap at us, it always seems like more than we can handle but it never is, He knows us better than we do. Look at it as an incredible compliment, you are strong enough to deal with all of this and that has to be pretty strong!!!!!!!
It is just really really hard to be strong sometimes though, you just need to choose to be.
I have gained a great deal of respect for you in all of this, you are pretty amazing to pullthrough this!!!!
Still prayin' for ya buddy!!!!!! john
Spanky,
Your in my prayers. You'll be alright and in time everything will work out fine. One thing that God does have is a good sense of karma, so she will get what she deserves. Just remember that you are a better person now that she could ever become, and that karma will reflect that. Keep on the up and up!
Your in my prayers. You'll be alright and in time everything will work out fine. One thing that God does have is a good sense of karma, so she will get what she deserves. Just remember that you are a better person now that she could ever become, and that karma will reflect that. Keep on the up and up!
Keep on strong Spanky!
I have nothing more to say, I know you will be fine! Just be sure to be yourself because you are great!
TB is a great forum.
I have nothing more to say, I know you will be fine! Just be sure to be yourself because you are great!
TB is a great forum.
