He has tons of them but here's one of my favorite Steven Wright lines: Curiosity killed the cat but for a while I was a suspect.
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Steven Wright type line
- Thread starter sspear
- Start date
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact 'relics'.
Ajapses
Gold Supporting Member
Same condition as my Mom, after giving birth to me. She was wore out, but damned glad to see me. Same thing this bass will think when it sees you walking through the door, cash in hand, to meet your new best friend.
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape
of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
-- Steven Wright
of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
-- Steven Wright
I actually saw Steven Wright do his stand-up show many years ago when he was first becoming known. Second row center, in a small room with small stage, so I was looking up his nostrils. I haven't laughed that hard, for that long, since. (For reasons having nothing to do with his nostrils, just to be clear.)
a guy comes by to check my relic bass the other day he rings the bell I open the door and say hey dude he says he dude back I said sold!
So I sold my relic bass the other day on CL and I tried to delete my posting but it failed says I am no longer the admin, so now I have to stay in my house with the shades drawn to hide from all of the people the new admin is going to send to my house to buy the bass
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I went to GC with my Relic Bass I want to sell, I walked up to a guy wearing one of those shirts I said how much am I going to sell you this bass for? he looked at me puzzled and said I don't know? I said than I don't want you to sell it to you and I left
So I decide to sell my Relic bass and I knew I would need a bigger amp, so I went out and purchase a 5000 watt bass amp with 4 8*10 cabinets. I turned everything up and opened all my doors and windows and started to play not longer after the police arrived and asked me what the hell I was doing? I said I am trying to attract bass players within a 3 mile radius
I have a Relic bass I wanted to sell so I built a time machine so I can bring it back to the store I bought it from for a full refund after a little haggling about not having my receipt the owner said he remembered me and got my money back
"I can't believe it plays like buttah."Well, if it's factory-relic'd, you should probably say it plays like margarine. That way you can't be accused of saying it's the real thing.
