Stuck in the middle... dysfunctional trio

[LBS-bass]

Well, it sounds like a de facto ultimateum at the very least. I mean, he's essentially saying I'm not playing drums any more and here is the option if you guys want me to stay in the band. The only thing I would add would be that it may need to be taken into account might be whether the ex and future non-drummer is a favorite with the band's following, or maybe not. Supposedly Pete Best was a fan favorite but still got fired.

There's that, too.

For me, I try to stand in someone's shoes, so I look at it as if I had a hand injury or something that made playing not fun anymore. I'd either have to quit or I'd have to find another way to be useful. Just the way it is. No need to turn it into anything else. But it would be helpful to these guys if they actually knew why the drummer wasn't wanting to play drums anymore

 

[BAG]

Hello OP...... how's this all panning out?

 

[Llewellen]

Early on in my playing days I chose to be mostly a freelance, paid sideman rather than a "band member", just so I would avoid these sorts of problems. I got a lot of interesting dates that wouldn't have been available to me otherwise.

 

[Russhhh]

Hello OP...... how's this all panning out?

Guitarist reached out to me about looking for a new drummer and remaining a trio. Given that the drummer really doesn’t want to play drums anymore, I agree with picking up a new drummer.

I liked what people have said about giving the drummer a try at rhythm guitar and make a decision based on how it sounds. One poster talked about the minimal difference between 25% and 33.3% on our income; and I agree the money shouldn’t be the driving factor for remaining a trio.

The drummer says if we want to move on as a trio he is totally cool with that, and he still considers us friends and would still want to come out to hear us.

In the meantime I took this hiatus as an opportunity to approach a local veteran that plays 50’s 60’s rock-a-billy and blues. Turns out this seasoned showman doesn’t have a band, but maintains a network of side players that he calls on for various gigs. He was interested to meet me, so we are meeting up at a local jam night tomorrow to see if we can slog through some SRV, Stray Cats, and a Lloyd Jones song “Toughen Up”.

While Mr. Rockabilly is older than me by 15 years, I’m sure I’ll gain a lot of insight into the band management and people side of gigging. And the highs and lows of being a working musician in one’s retirement years, which is ultimately my goal.

I like oldies (songs), but my true hope is that my original trio grows to a foursome, because I like our mix of country rock, and my band mates feel like peers... like brothers.

Maybe a month hiatus will give everyone a broader perspective.

 

[mikew31]

Guitarist reached out to me about looking for a new drummer and remaining a trio. Given that the drummer really doesn’t want to play drums anymore, I agree with picking up a new drummer.

I liked what people have said about giving the drummer a try at rhythm guitar and make a decision based on how it sounds. One poster talked about the minimal difference between 25% and 33.3% on our income; and I agree the money shouldn’t be the driving factor for remaining a trio.

The drummer says if we want to move on as a trio he is totally cool with that, and he still considers us friends and would still want to come out to hear us.

In the meantime I took this hiatus as an opportunity to approach a local veteran that plays 50’s 60’s rock-a-billy and blues. Turns out this seasoned showman doesn’t have a band, but maintains a network of side players that he calls on for various gigs. He was interested to meet me, so we are meeting up at a local jam night tomorrow to see if we can slog through some SRV, Stray Cats, and a Lloyd Jones song “Toughen Up”.

While Mr. Rockabilly is older than me by 15 years, I’m sure I’ll gain a lot of insight into the band management and people side of gigging. And the highs and lows of being a working musician in one’s retirement years, which is ultimately my goal.

I like oldies (songs), but my true hope is that my original trio grows to a foursome, because I like our mix of country rock, and my band mates feel like peers... like brothers.

Maybe a month hiatus will give everyone a broader perspective.

I'm not sure how to respond. This sounds like a bunch of healthy, reasonable adults who communicate with each other. You've entered uncharted territory here on Band Management.

Best of luck with these endeavors!

 

[D-Smith]

The drummer says if we want to move on as a trio he is totally cool with that, and he still considers us friends and would still want to come out to hear us.

Funny now looking back on all the posts that immediately went into "defensive" mode saying he was "hijacking" the band, issuing "ultimatums", "who does he think he is?" and had "no right" to request a change. Turns out he's just a guy that's tired of playing drums and if he can't find a way to rejuvenate his interest in being in a band, would rather spend his free time some other way. What a monster! Good luck either way, sounds like it will work out.

 

[LBS-bass]

Guitarist reached out to me about looking for a new drummer and remaining a trio. Given that the drummer really doesn’t want to play drums anymore, I agree with picking up a new drummer.

I liked what people have said about giving the drummer a try at rhythm guitar and make a decision based on how it sounds. One poster talked about the minimal difference between 25% and 33.3% on our income; and I agree the money shouldn’t be the driving factor for remaining a trio.

The drummer says if we want to move on as a trio he is totally cool with that, and he still considers us friends and would still want to come out to hear us.

In the meantime I took this hiatus as an opportunity to approach a local veteran that plays 50’s 60’s rock-a-billy and blues. Turns out this seasoned showman doesn’t have a band, but maintains a network of side players that he calls on for various gigs. He was interested to meet me, so we are meeting up at a local jam night tomorrow to see if we can slog through some SRV, Stray Cats, and a Lloyd Jones song “Toughen Up”.

While Mr. Rockabilly is older than me by 15 years, I’m sure I’ll gain a lot of insight into the band management and people side of gigging. And the highs and lows of being a working musician in one’s retirement years, which is ultimately my goal.

I like oldies (songs), but my true hope is that my original trio grows to a foursome, because I like our mix of country rock, and my band mates feel like peers... like brothers.

Maybe a month hiatus will give everyone a broader perspective.

I hope it works out, but I'm sorry that the guitarist is not giving him the opportunity to try something different. It might have been good. But I do think you did a smart thing by reaching out to other musicians; you never know where that will lead. Good luck with all of it!

 

[Downunderwonder]

Lots of fools on stools play foot powered percussion. Your drummer guy could probably nail that.

 

[Stumbo]

I like oldies (songs), but my true hope is that my original trio grows to a foursome, because I like our mix of country rock, and my band mates feel like peers... like brothers.

Then you need to take a position with your guitar player and be true to yourself.

You want 4 members if it sounds good, especially with he backup vocals, front man, ex-drummer on guitar.