So he's a drummer, singer and front man. Yeah, he'll be easy to replace.
You don't need to shout. That was not in the OP.
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Stuck in the middle... dysfunctional trio
- Thread starter Russhhh
- Start date
You don't need to shout. That was not in the OP.
How about a drum machine instead?
Or everyone helps out...
Side Kick Drums | Foot Operated Drums for Guitar Players
Or everyone helps out...
Side Kick Drums | Foot Operated Drums for Guitar Players
He can vote all he wants, but if the drummer refuses to play drums, it's irrelevant.
NOT the real reason he wants to to play guitar and sing.
This is the REAL reason he wants to play guitar and sing.
The band sounds good and your playing regularly. I'd thank him for his service and find a new drummer. You're going to need to find one anyway, why have another mouth to feed?
I have no comment about what the OP might do in a situation like this. But for live gigging, my experience is that your chance of ongoing bookings is inversely proportional to the number of people in the band. Whatever instrument they play. I'll also say this - if you have great reviews, repeat bookings and a full calendar (or as full as you want), then you mess with the lineup at your peril.
I guess I'd like to think I would react like an adult if my friend of 30+ years told me he isn't having fun in a band that plays out a couple times a month for fun and a few bucks. I would remind myself not to be one of the people that posts "Kick him out!" one day then starts a thread titled "I Can't Find Any Musicians to Play With in My Area" the next.
I didn't read all the replies, but I would say to the drummer: "Hey, our trio has a good thing going. Here are some options to consider if you're unhappy: 1) Maintain the status quo, but you go get a side project where you are the guitarist and lead singer. 2) Bring in a guest drummer for one gig and see how it goes with you on guitar. 3) you quit the band and we get another drummer to carry on as a trio. 4) keep everything as is and you stick to drums.
I'm not a fan of ultimatums. On the other hand, the drummer's going to have to make up his mind. It's not fair of him to ask you and the guitarist to change your experience just to satisfy him.
I'm not a fan of ultimatums. On the other hand, the drummer's going to have to make up his mind. It's not fair of him to ask you and the guitarist to change your experience just to satisfy him.
Call me an SOB but I'd like to think that if somebody commits to a band as the drummer, I don't have to 'respect' their non-right to wake up one day and declare - 'hey, I wanna be a guitarist in the band now, not the drummer'.
Fact is, if he was such a good buddy, he'd know himself that stuff like that is not what good friends do to each other.
The drummer doesn't want to play drums. Forcing him to continue doing that isn't a viable option - he has essentially fired himself as a drummer. So, either a four piece band, or a new drummer. Either way, you're hiring a drummer.
Dave Grohl moved from drums to rhythm, and that worked out OK. Is he another Dave?
Dave Grohl moved from drums to rhythm, and that worked out OK. Is he another Dave?
Tricky. Most of my past bands have been or started out as trios. The ones that went to a four piece seemed to fold very soon after. Maybe it's because it's harder to get a majority vote on stuff? i always felt the musical dynamic suffered too. This is probably no help really. Just an observation.
Even though they are old friends, they might not be as close as you think because if they were, you would be the drummer.
This right here. All the back and forth about how hard it will be to replace the drummer isn't really relevant. He's not a hostage. You all aren't going to force him to play drums against his will if he isn't happy. You are replacing your drummer, whether you want to or not.
You can either give the guy a shot at doing what he wants or your guitarist can stick to his guns, gut a 30 year friendship, and let him walk away entirely. If there's any chance that he's going to bring something of value to the table, why not at least try it?
Again, we don't know why he doesn't want to play drums anymore, but IMO it's a bigger <insert word here> move to try to shackle this guy to his kit if he doesn't want to be there. The guitarist is the one issuing the ultimatum here and he's twisting it to look like it's the drummer's fault. Honestly, if it were me, I'd be a lot more wary of working with that guy than the drummer.
There's a huge red flag in his attitude toward the possibility of anyone playing under his "clean" sound. What that really means is that he feels threatened if anyone else is visible on stage in a way that might detract from himself as the focus of audience attention. And being the center of attention is important enough to him that he'll ditch a long-term friendship over it.
I certainly understand that sometimes playing in a band can feel a little stagnant if it's been going for a while, but if I was in your shoes, I would be trying to think of friendly ways to convince the drummer to stick with it. Maybe suggesting an alternate perspective to try, this realization he's had could be the perfect opportunity for him to get motivated, learn some new chops, and get to where he's more confident in his abilities.
That said, sometimes when the excitement wears off for a member, there is no bringing it back. I was in a pretty promising and relatively successful, original touring trio, but when one of the founding two members decided he wanted to call it quits, get off the touring circuit, and spend more time on the farm... what could we do? Our manager was pushing for us to replace him, but his technique, playing style, and vocals were all unique and important to our identity and sound. So we accepted the end and all moved on to new things.
That said, sometimes when the excitement wears off for a member, there is no bringing it back. I was in a pretty promising and relatively successful, original touring trio, but when one of the founding two members decided he wanted to call it quits, get off the touring circuit, and spend more time on the farm... what could we do? Our manager was pushing for us to replace him, but his technique, playing style, and vocals were all unique and important to our identity and sound. So we accepted the end and all moved on to new things.
A 50 year old drummer who just had knee surgery doesn’t want to be 50 year old drummer who needs carpal tunnel surgery. Let him play guitar but make sure everyone knows that in the new lineup, drums and bass get 40% each and guitarists split the rest.
Those two guys with the 30 year friendship need to work it out. Both sound pretty set in their wants and no matter what happens someone's gonna be unhappy. If I were the OP, I'd be working on a plan B, because this band seems to be heading for continued turmoil and an eventual breakup.
