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suicidal friend, please help me

#21
There is great advice in this thread - bottom line, get your friend help, any way you can.

I will be deleting the rest of this garbage.
 
#22
I'm reopening this thread - please be respectful of not only the OP and his friend, but of the subject as well.

I won't hesitate to shut this one down for good if it spins off from good taste again.
 
#23
#26
Thanks pacman for keeping this on topic. I only found the thread after whatever editing you had to do, but I find it pretty disgusting that it would even be necessary. People should have some respect.

Anyway, to the OP, call a suicide hotline RIGHT NOW if you haven't already. I don't have a lot of experience with this, but one of the principles I've learned is that when a potentially suicidal person has a specific idea for how they would do it, you need to act fast. There's a difference between someone vaguely thinking about killing themselves and someone who has gone to the stage of actually planning it.
 
#27
well i called the suicide hotline last night and talked to a nice guy, he told me as of now there really isnt a whole lot we can do with the cops or hospitials. they said he can voulentarily check into a mental health facility but if he wont do that my group of friends should spend as much time with him as possible. he has said to us a few times that our group is the only group that isnt a total bring down to him, so we got that going for us.

also i would like to thank pacman for reopening the thread and everyone who has given thoughful heart felt awnsers. i was told what was said by another memeber that caused the thread to be locked and it was such a cowardly cheap shot, and if it was intended as a joke you have the worst sence of humor ive ever seen. regardless, keep the ideas and support flowing in and thank you all again
 
#28
This is such a tough issue. One that most of us are not equipped to deal with. Suicide is very painful for the friends and family left behind. I have a close family member going through some mental issues right now and it is not fun. They seemed to have turned things around lately with professional help.

Be a friend, be positive to him. I do agree with a previous poster that his voicing it out loud probably means he is not quite at the point of doing anything just yet. It's the people that go silent and stop talking that you have to really keep an eye on.

I have never had a suicidal thought or even been remotely close to one in my life. I am thankful for that. I just can't imagine how much mental pain you have top be in to contemplate taking your own life.
 
#29
60's Bluesman said:
they said he can voulentarily check into a mental health facility but if he wont do that my group of friends should spend as much time with him as possible. he has said to us a few times that our group is the only group that isnt a total bring down to him, so we got that going for us.
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Professionally speaking, that is not a good solution long term. It is not good advice. I'm really glad that people volunteer to work at the suicide hotlines as it is an incredibly important service, but they are not professionals. You (and your friends) don't want to become something he depends on for happiness and security, as that is neither fair, realistic, nor something that you are equipped to deal with properly (and that is not your fault). It just sets him up for disappointment or let down further down the road when, one day, none of you guys can be there for one reason or another and it all starts over again.

Get him to a mental health facility. The way you be supportive as a friend is to encourage him to go, help him understand that it is NOT for crazy people (which it isn't!) and that it will monumentally change the direction his life is trending to go. And then offer to drive him there to make sure he goes. That will help him to work towards a healthy mental and emotional state.

You and your friends should NOT get enmeshed and involved in such a way that his feelings are dependent on your efforts. It's not good for anyone. But you should absolutely be supportive. But in this case, being supportive means getting him to treatment, not trying to be the treatment or the distraction.
 
#31
Geddyfleaharris said:
This is such a tough issue. One that most of us are not equipped to deal with. Suicide is very painful for the friends and family left behind. I have a close family member going through some mental issues right now and it is not fun. They seemed to have turned things around lately with professional help.

Be a friend, be positive to him. I do agree with a previous poster that his voicing it out loud probably means he is not quite at the point of doing anything just yet. It's the people that go silent and stop talking that you have to really keep an eye on.

I have never had a suicidal thought or even been remotely close to one in my life. I am thankful for that. I just can't imagine how much mental pain you have top be in to contemplate taking your own life.
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Wrong. The people who talk about it are the most likely to do it.
 
#32
My .02? Get involved STAT and worry about weaning him of any emotional dependency after his Psyche and daily routine have been stabilized.

A fitful night's sleep for the rest of one's life is at stake here too...
 
#33
well my group spent 2 or 3 hours with him tonight. since today is his birthday and this are extreme circumstances we baked him a cake, got a card that everyone signed and picked him up a gift. you could tell he was really surprised by it all since its not normal for a group of 6 guys to baked another dude a cake and buy him a gift lol, but he was really greatful for all of it and he got a little teary eyed about it all. but he hung out with us for awhile watched a movie and chilled like he normally does and acted perfectly fine. he did say that he hasnt slept since thrusday night and he mentioned how crappy things have been. but tonight was a real good night for him and the rest of us i just hope things get better from here
 
#34
I believe that you will get the best advise from the suicide hotlines. While the people on these forums have their various experiences with suicide/mental illness and the best of intentions, with out expert advise you risk making the situation worse.

Don't take risks with such a serious issue, get expert advise.
 
#35
60's Bluesman said:
well my group spent 2 or 3 hours with him tonight. since today is his birthday and this are extreme circumstances we baked him a cake, got a card that everyone signed and picked him up a gift. you could tell he was really surprised by it all since its not normal for a group of 6 guys to baked another dude a cake and buy him a gift lol, but he was really greatful for all of it and he got a little teary eyed about it all. but he hung out with us for awhile watched a movie and chilled like he normally does and acted perfectly fine. he did say that he hasnt slept since thrusday night and he mentioned how crappy things have been. but tonight was a real good night for him and the rest of us i just hope things get better from here
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Good then. Hopefully he'll have a refreshing night's rest.
 
#36
Munjibunga said:
He probably can be involuntarily committed under these circumstances. I agree that you should call the police. Don't take this on yourself, get people to help you help him get professional help. Hurry. Tomorrow may be too late.
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I agree +1000. Plus having a good night as you just described a couple posts above DOES NOT mean its still not lurking in him. It can even be a temp attitude to get everyone off their guard. My sis did and then killed herself (also with a shotgun).
 
#37
+1000 for what Angus said above. Get involved and get him help - don't be the only help he has - which is exactly what it sounds like you are trying to do.

As a professional, and living in Michigan, I wonder what area you live in. Your county will have resources that can help. Calling the local Community Mental Health Center for information should be really helpful. Depending on your friend's resources (insurance, finances) they should have a list of area providers, and also give advice on where and how to take your friend in for an evaluation. At the eval, they would determine what level of care would be most appropriate (inpatient, partial, outpatient) and help connect him to an appropriate therapist or treatment facility. Often, the social work staff at your county hospital (often working out of the ER, but not always) can do this eval and referral as well. It would be very helpful for you to know what options exist for him right now where you live, how you would best access them, and what to expect once he gets there. Keep him working on a plan that leads to him feeling better -from one day at a time to one minute at a time- whatever he needs right now. He also should know that it's really common for the brain chemistry to kind of get "stuck" when there has been too much stress for too long. With this being "stuck" comes certain symptoms that we sometimes label "depression" or "anxiety". We all can get these from time to time, and especially during times of prolonged stress. The thing is - when a person has this depression or anxiety - they come with a package of symptoms - depressed mood, sleep disturbance, eating disturbance, tense-restless feelings, difficulty concentrating, feelings of guilt, feelings of being punished, etc. Sometimes the suicidal thoughts and plans come in here as well. The bad part is having all these symptoms sucks. The good part, is when the depression and/or anxiety gets better, all these symptoms do too. All the negative thoughts and feelings he is having right now are a part of the package.

The good news is that this is very treatable. He just needs to get connected with the right person(s) right now to deliver that treatment until he is feeling better. Right now you need to keep him safe, get more information, and get him to the resources that will help him the most right now.

He's lucky to have good friends like you all. Good luck with this - I will keep you in my prayers and look to see how things are going if you choose to update us.
 
#39
Munjibunga said:
Wrong. The people who talk about it are the most likely to do it.
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Have to disgaree.

Read any number of articles on the subject and the predominant theme is that people who are seriously planning on doing this do not talk about it openly. They usually never tell their therapist of health care provider. If they choose to tell anyone of their plans it is a close personal friend or family member.

There are symptoms for someone who is seriously contemplating suicide. Check Web MD. Lots of info.
 
#40
Geddyfleaharris said:
Have to disgaree.

Read any number of articles on the subject and the predominant theme is that people who are seriously planning on doing this do not talk about it openly. They usually never tell their therapist of health care provider. If they choose to tell anyone of their plans it is a close personal friend or family member.

There are symptoms for someone who is seriously contemplating suicide. Check Web MD. Lots of info.
Click to expand...

Let's just say that it's better to be safe than sorry and leave it at that. This thread originally got closed because of disagreements relating to this, so let's avoid that if at all possible.
 

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