2nd update: fedex closed the file on 12/1 without telling me. called twice today, found out they declared it lost after locating it (if ever there was a coincidence...).
moral of the story, use any courier except fedex for international shipments (i had an excellent experience with DHL on a different import, same brand of instrument). mostly to keep the package away from the memphis hub, which is where the trouble began. fedex reps are frankly useless from top to bottom. their customs guys will ignore you (15ish emails to a direct contact, not a single one answered), nobody will call you back, the same canned responses repeated ad nauseam every time you call
learn from my naivety!