Should've known this was coming, and maybe it's common and I've just been lucky enough to not have experienced it, but it spun my head and caused me to lose life-force.
For a year now I've been playing in my dream band - an original blues band with players who are not only top notch but are reliable and responsible too (!). I had commented to my wife that the gigs were so easy, I can just cruise - everyone knows their parts, no one needs cueing, the drummer doesn't rush etc. Bass player heaven.
Well, last Saturday night came my nightmare. Not only was it going to be a sub drummer, but also a sub guitarist - for a three piece band with lead vocalist, playing 70% originals for 3 sets. (!!) So even though it's not my band, it's the chick singer's music I'm just the bass player, I get both of our albums and a live recording of some of our covers to the drummer and guitarist, as it turns out we're not going to be able to have a rehearsal (!!!). Luckily the guitarist was somewhat familiar with the material, and had actually co-written and played on one song on the newer album, but I was still straightening him out on riffs 5 minutes before we're on.
The problem, and the crux of the story, was with the drummer. He could not have been less interested. He had obviously listened to nothing before hand, thinking he was so good he could just jam though it. Problem is, our stuff isn't straight ahead 12 bar blues - lots of blues styles, rhythms, changes, stops etc. It's time for downbeat and even though his kit's set up he's nowhere to be seen, so we start. He meanders up on stage about 3/4 through the first song and joins in. Same thing second set, he decides to order food just before time to go on, so we have to start the second set without him too while he finishes eating - and this is a popular downtown club full of people!
Now finally after all this rambling is the punch line. He's not paying attention as I'm trying to direct, misses almost every stop I try to cue, he totally gets a beat backwards and plays it that way all the way through a song, and then I look back during a song trying to cue him and he's TEXTING WHILE PLAYING!
Funniest thing was, after the gig, my wife asks me, "Was that guy supposed to be up there?".
Anyway, I guess God gave me my comeuppance after being so smug about how easy I've got it now. That was the hardest gig I've done in a couple of decades. Afterwards I felt like I had pushed a boulder up a mountain.
