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The (badly) aging metaler

That's Devin Townsend. Amazing musician.

Good news! I didn't want to inadvertantly offend a fellow TBer.

The dude still looks like a thumb puppet.

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No you don't.

DT and Strapping Young Lad will out metal you on the most metal day of your life, even if you had and electrified metaling machine.

I didn't realize so many guys have "metal detectors" in their pants, and a musician's failure to cause a stir is grounds for assuming a lack of metal street cred. Perhaps the pretty boys in Tiger Beat were more metal than I knew.
 
There's only one kind of person who claims that image has zero to do with metal. And that's a fat old guy who still attends or performs at metal shows.

I know how to play lots of metal. I don't. There's a reason. I am 44 years old, have two kids, and wear khakis to work. A good friend of mine fits all that criteria (dad, khakis, 47 years old, etc.). But the saddest part of this guy's story is that he still thinks he's going to make it as a rock/metal guitarist. He has actually blamed me for his lack of success a couple of times. Why? Because I wouldn't join his band and give it "one more shot, dude". I still love him. It pisses me off when I see his kids wearing ratty old shoes while he plays a brand new Les Paul.

I'm not saying you old guys shouldn't listen to metal. But playing it live and expecting other granddads to keep playing it for your amusement gets a bit depressing to watch after a while.

But whatever blows your skirt up. As long as you are putting good shoes on your kids' feet and not hurting anyone, go for it. You certainly don't need my blessing.