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The balancing act

IanMartinAllison

IanMartinAllison

May 27, 2006
762
621
Minneapolis
#1
Hey Justin,

I'm a bass player. I'm also married and a father of a 10 day old baby girl named Everly Charles Allison. I am currently trying to support my family by gigging, touring, doing sessions, teaching, producing, writing etc.

You have been so influential and inspirational to me as a player and producer. And I am so appreciative of your generosity with your time and communication. JMJ on TB? It rules. Thank you.

I'm wondering if you would care to share your thoughts about balancing your professional life with that of your family. With all the talk and importance that I place on my career, gear, etc, I often wonder if I could be doing a better job with the balance. Any of your thoughts would be a gift.

Thanks so much for doing what you do.

Ian
 
#2
Ian,

It's my pleasure...and I greatly appreciate the generous acknowledgement, thank you.

The balance is hard. I have to focus on it day to day, week to week. Just getting enough time with my daughter is a struggle. I am a divorcee, and that complicates things greatly. I have a girlfriend as well now, which is also another new challenge to balance. I'm not sure how to do it. I have no particular formula or policy that I apply. During the 10 years in which I was married, I toured very intensively...so much so that I calculated that I was really home for only 6 of those years. But I'd fly her and our daughter out a lot, so that helped. Yet somehow it wasn't enough.

It's hard. I'm f-ing busy. And I'm married to my work. So I dunno. But when I do family time, I focus HARD on it.

Best,
J
 
#5
Hey Ian - I have been there (am there). Pretty much the moment my daughter was born music really took off for me. She is 2 now and I've basically gigged every weekend since.

I am also separated from my daughter's mum (we split about a month before she was born) and I have custody every 2nd week (for the whole week). I cherish my time with her, and I am now doing 2 bands that take up a lot of time. I have great support from my mum for gigs and stuff. The hardest is finding the time to "work". I find myself waking up extra early or staying up super late just to get practise done that I need to.

I also have a girlfriend, but for either good or bad, she lives in another city, so I am lucky that I don't need to sacrifice a lot of time to spend it with her. But when I do it means I am unavailable for gigs, and it is only on weeks I don't have my daughter.

It's a fine line to tread at times, and it gets hard. Sometimes you need to take a step back and other times you hope and pray that those around you understand and support you.

I gotta admit - I have it great that I can do it all. I can guarantee that if my ex and I were still together, what is happening for me now musically wouldn't be happening!!
 

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