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The "Bass Player Jokes" Thread
- Thread starter Chef
- Start date
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them--one to do it and the rest to tell him how Jaco would have done it.
All of them--one to do it and the rest to tell him how Jaco would have done it.
Why did they throw the guitarist in the ocean with a boulder attached to his leg?
Because, deep down, guitarists aren't that bad.
Because, deep down, guitarists aren't that bad.
How can you tell when a female singer's outside?
She doesn't know where to come in and can't find her key.
She doesn't know where to come in and can't find her key.
- Nov 3, 2004
- 485
- 71
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Hipshot Products, DR Strings and Accugroove Speaker Cabinets
Off-topic, but still a good career-related joke:
Did you hear about the constipated mathemetician?
He worked it out with a pencil! :scowl:
Did you hear about the constipated mathemetician?
He worked it out with a pencil! :scowl:
A couple goes on vacation to a beautiful Carribian island. As soon as they get off the plane, they hear drums. At first, it just seems like nice ambiance, but after 3 days and nights of constant drumming, they just can't take it any more. The man calls the hotel manager and asks, "Do the drums ever stop?". The manager replies, "No. Drums must never stop. Very, very bad if drums stop." "Why?" The man asks.
"If drums stop, bass solo begins!"
"If drums stop, bass solo begins!"
- Nov 3, 2004
- 485
- 71
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Hipshot Products, DR Strings and Accugroove Speaker Cabinets
Did you hear about the bass player that locked his keys in his car?
It took two hours to get the drummer out.
Marshall
It took two hours to get the drummer out.
Marshall
ebe9 said:
AMEN to that!
Hey! I got one..here goes
What does a Bass Guitar and a Girlfriend have in common?
.... i slap them...then people start looking at me weird and saying " thats wrong man, you shouldn't do that in public"...so at the end of the night, I just end up fingering them.:scowl:
:scowl: 
This 13-year-old bugs his dad all year for a bass, and his dad finally gets it for him for Christmas. He even throws in some lessons.
After the first lesson, the dad asks him what the son learned.
The son said "I learned how to play the E string"
After the second lesson, the dad asks him what the son learned.
The son said "I learned how to play the A string"
After the third lesson, the dad asks him what the son learned.
The son said "I learned how to play the D string"
After the fourth lesson, the son didn't come back all night. He finally returned at 3 in the morning, reeking of cigarettes and booze. His dad asks him "where the h*** have you been all night??"
The son says "I learned how to play the G string and got a gig!"
After the first lesson, the dad asks him what the son learned.
The son said "I learned how to play the E string"
After the second lesson, the dad asks him what the son learned.
The son said "I learned how to play the A string"
After the third lesson, the dad asks him what the son learned.
The son said "I learned how to play the D string"
After the fourth lesson, the son didn't come back all night. He finally returned at 3 in the morning, reeking of cigarettes and booze. His dad asks him "where the h*** have you been all night??"
The son says "I learned how to play the G string and got a gig!"
Oh yeah:
What's the difference between the Panama Canal and a female vocalist?
One's a busy ditch...
What's the difference between the Panama Canal and a female vocalist?
One's a busy ditch...
