Feel free to change "bass player" to drummer, guitar player, whatever if you like... What's the difference between a bass player, and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four! What do you call a bass player wearing a pager? An optimist! What do you say to a bass player in a three piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise?" What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless... How do you get the guitar player to play quieter? Put some sheet music in front of him.