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The "I'm a bonehead" thread.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Petebass, Dec 4, 2003.

  1. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    We've all done it. We've all had that moment where the brain goes off on it's own little tangent. Changing a light bulb in the dark, having trouble seeing what you're doing, and thinking that turning the light on will actually help.

    I went to visit my brother recently. He's always doing stuff to improve the appearance of his house and this time, his driveway had been painted a different colour. It looked great except for the tyre tracks.............

    Apparently he took a whole day to get the paint job perfect. It wasn't till afterwards that he realised the car was still in the garage - and he had to go out.................

    His wife and I spent 5 minutes making fun of him before he reminded me of the time I called him from a gig in an absolute state of panic. I'd packed my car and rushsed off in such haste, I'd left my bass at home. He was good enough to grab it and bring it to me.

    C'mon lets hear em.............
  2. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    I did not search for 30 minutes for car keys that were in my pocket, you liars!

    Not to mention I've certainly never gone to a gig only to find out I'd forgotten an instrument cable.

    I will, however, freely admit to being star of the series, Land of The Lost, a show Brad Barker and Gard have seen.
  3. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Marshall, Will and Holly.....on a routine expedition.....came across the greatest earthquake ever known........... :)

    Over the summer we installed real hardwood flooring in our downstairs. During the finishing process, I told everyone to leave the house since the chemicals are quite harsh smelling. There I was all alone to stain the floors. Well, no one was around to tell me I was staining myself into a corner of the room. Footprints in half dry urethane is prolly as bad as tire tracks on your brothers driveway!

  4. oh -- on my head???? sheeeeesh!

    i am the queen of bone-headedness. lost keys, misplaced socks [which were on my feet the whole time], painting myself into a corner, cooking a roast for 2 hours only to discover the oven was never turned on.

    yeah, i'm bad with that sort of stuff. if i didn't have an owl-eye landlady, i'd forget to pay my rent.

    i still think the best was driving two hours to an airport and realizing [at the check-in counter] that i left my ticket home.


    space. the final frontier.
  5. Brendan couldn't find his @$$ with both hands. I hadda tie a string on one of his fingers once so he'd remember which way was right...


    ...I kid because I...no, wait, Brendan really is directionally challenged.


    However, I have also joined Pete in leaving my bass at home when going to a gig - luckily the gig was about 15 minutes from my house. The keyboardist on that gig made me feel better by telling me he'd done that once at a gig that was a 6 hour drive from home.

    I also joined Miko at the "oops, I left my plane ticket at the house" counter. Luckily, I was able to avoid having to go home and get it, and avoid missing the flight, however I couldn't avoid the egg on my face.

    I could continue on, but you get the idea: I'm a bonehead.

  6. bill h

    bill h

    Aug 31, 2002
    small town MN
    Me and some friends went on a road trip to Colorado. My driver license was left at home. 800 plus miles and not anyway to have a beer in a pub, or hang in one for that matter.
  7. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    I win this one, easily.

    Back when I used to drive, over a span of three years I locked my keys in the car a total of six times. Including twice with the engine running. :meh:
  8. Melf


    Mar 20, 2003
    Starkville, MS
    I don't really misplace things, I just forget things. I've left my keys and my backpack all over campus and my most recent mistake was leaving my bass at home. I can't play until I go back home for Christmas break now:bawl:
  9. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member

    I have looked high and low for my glasses while wearing them. And tore the house up looking for my comb, which was in my pocket. Never had a problem with losing keys, for some strange reason.

    And I once drove 45 miles to a gig without my bass. That sucked!!!:mad:
  10. Gia


    Feb 28, 2001
    yes, and i conclusivly did not spend 5 minutes shouting at my friends for stealing my vodka, when i was holding it in my other hand.
  11. I remember one time getting everything ready to leave for a gig, and I started panicking because I couldn't find my bass anywhere! Finally, I realized that I had already thrown it in the case!
  12. nice!

    i once left my backpack - with £300 - with of stuff in it! doh!

    isnurance covered it, tho!

    i think the worst for me would be arriving at school, wondering why everyone was laughing at me and looking at me funny.

    then i went to the bathroom and reliased, i had no pants on! :eek:

    :D :D
  13. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Of course not. These things never happens. They just don't.
  14. Oysterman


    Mar 30, 2000
    I once went to a gig and forgot to bring my bass. I also waited 15 minutes outside my apartment to be picked up to go to a rehearsal, and not once did I reflect on the fact that something was missing. My bandmates had the kindness to tell me though... "Where's your bass, man?"

    Followed by a blushing face and hysterical laughter for minutes.

    I also unintentionally said "Good morning" to a relative over the phone today. At 6 PM.
  15. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Latest: lost in Portland for 1.5 hours. First 45 was trying to find a place, other 45 were trying to find home.
  16. Blackbird

    Blackbird Supporting Member

    Mar 18, 2000
    Getting to L.A. and realizing I forgot to bring a strap. (Used guitarist's backup guitar strap)

    Playing an end of the year gig at an old folks' home and realizing I forgor to bring a strap. Tied an old instrument cable around the strap buttons and stood very still.

    Getting ready for a 6 hour drive to L.A. in a car loaded with gear and realizing (after driving one block) that I forgot to bring the bass! Fortunately, it was just a block...
  17. Fuzzbass

    Fuzzbass P5 with overdrive Gold Supporting Member

    I am King Bonehead. Fortunately there aren't often witnesses to my amazing feats of stupidity. Here are a couple that were witnessed:

    1) I wanted to give a warm intro to a band that was opening up for us in a club. To get the crowd's attention, I yelled "Colonial Beach, Maryland!" Problem is, Colonial Beach is in Virginia. :oops:

    2) I went up to one bartender and complained about "that other bartender who won't give us free drinks". The other bartender, who was standing right there, turned around and said "You talking about me?" :eek: I tried to cover by saying "yeah, just trying to give you guys the hint that we get the love in other clubs", to which she replied "sorry, you guys get charged just like everybody else". Hopefully I didn't get the cool bartender in trouble. :(
  18. Oysterman


    Mar 30, 2000
    Our monarch, king Carl XVI Gustaf, did something similar, but worse. In the Swedish city of X (I forgot which one, not that it matters) he began a speech with greeting the "dear citizens of Y".

  19. :eek: I am not the only one!!!! I share your pain. I went to go warm up the car before I was going to go to school and right when I closed the door I realized that I locked it. My car was warming up for 45 mins before I unlocked it with a wire coat hanger. :oops:

  20. You just reminded me of another super-bonehead credit card story.

    i always lose my atm card. this one particular day, right after getting a replacement card from the bank, i went to a gas station to fill up. decided to get a pre-wrapped sandwich while there.

    i'm on line, feeling around for my atm card in my pocket [just to be sure], when the guy 4 people ahead of me wins lotto [Pick 6, or one of those games]. he wins $1,000 on the spot, and everyone gets happy and congratulates him.

    lotto hubbub dies down, guy leaves, and i'm second up in line. i put my purchases and debit card on the counter to pay. guy ahead of me leaves, guy behind counter rings up my purchases, then asks for payment.

    "i already gave you my card."
    "uh, no, ma'am, you didn't."
    "no, no. i did. really. it's a fleet visa card."
    "there's nothing here."
    "wellll... i suggest you look some more.

    he does, and finds nothing.

    i proceed to freak out, and next thing you know, i'm looking under coffee cups, krispy kreme dispensers, sugar bowls, candy bar racks. i turn into a crazed and hysterical woman, INSISTING that i handed over my card, and that SOMEONE had to have pickpocketed me or stolen it from the counter in all the lotto hubbub. i'm spewing all this for like 20 minutes, when the guy, totally flipped by my demeanor, tells me to just TAKE THE SANDWICH AND GO! PLEEEEASE!

    by this point, i'm hysterical crying, and convinced i'm insane. i go to the nearest phonebooth to cancel the card, jump in my car and race to my apartment.

    still crying, i throw the sandwich on the counter, when all of a sudden i hear the thin tapping sound of plastic on plastic.

    perplexed, i walk to the counter and pick up the sandwich. i turn it over.

    there, stuck on the back of the sandwich cellophane wrap, is my atm card. it had stuck to the back of the sandwich when i laid the sandwich and card on the gas station counter. the heat from the counter fused them together.

    the whole event, and my ridiculous demeanor, made me feel like such an ass that at christmas time, i went back to the gas station and gave the guy a card with $20 in it. i told him he deserved compound interest on the 5 bux the sandwich cost, just for dealing with a schmuck like me.


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    Primary TB Assistant

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