The process of Aging and Child education

[BoogieZK]

Yo!

The title is not self explainatory:

I'm aging, 38yo this month and i have a 9 month daugther, we're living a good life.
I play bass, drums, guitar (rythmic only) and sing a little just to annoy the neighborhood.

I "want" my daughter to build on my knowledge and music experience (No braging here) and i "want" to give her a good start IF she want to play some music.

Quotes are for i deeply wish too but i will not force anything.

What has been your way on this? Did you like food gave a taste of music to your child?

I always found shelter in music, by listening to or playing it. I think it's a good support in life, that's all.

 

[WI Short Scaler]

I tried to expose my kids to music and playing at an early age. Had guitars, basses, drums, a piano all in the house. My dad has and still is a gigging musician (he just turned 80) and I caught the bug from him just by observing and attending many of his gigs as a kid.

But my kids just had no interest. My mother in law insisted we "needed" to make them take piano lessons. She had forced my wife to take them as a kid (that's where we inherited the piano) and she hated it. So we opted to not do that to our kids. If they were interested I would have bought whatever was needed to facilitate their interest but no dice.

They are all good artists, our daughters were dancers, so they chose their own outlets. And they've all become great people with their own lives. Ages 30/27/21 now.

Just my opinion, the kids have to WANT to play and you can't force them to enjoy it.

 

[Jeff Scott]

Yo!

The title is not self explainatory:

I'm aging, 38yo this month...

You have a LONG way to go before you can truly get what aging is.

Pushing 68 here...

 

[BoogieZK]

I tried to expose my kids to music and playing at an early age. Had guitars, basses, drums, a piano all in the house. My dad has and still is a gigging musician (he just turned 80) and I caught the bug from him just by observing and attending many of his gigs as a kid.

But my kids just had no interest. My mother in law insisted we "needed" to make them take piano lessons. She had forced my wife to take them as a kid (that's where we inherited the piano) and she hated it. So we opted to not do that to our kids. If they were interested I would have bought whatever was needed to facilitate their interest but no dice.

They are all good artists, our daughters were dancers, so they chose their own outlets. And they've all become great people with their own lives. Ages 30/27/21 now.

Just my opinion, the kids have to WANT to play and you can't force them to enjoy it.

Of course, that is my intentions to not force anything.
I understand and i'll be happy whatever she will do or like.
Thanks for the answer.

 

[BoogieZK]

You have a LONG way to go before you can truly get what aging is.

Pushing 68 here...

I hope you don't take that my scale as an offense.

Well, yes i have a long way but i'm always trying to learn how to drive on this long way and i'll ever do.
And if i can teach some good stuff to my daughter, it would be nice.

 

[ShadowGroover]

My experience with a similar scenario is that music is my calling. My kids have different callings.

As a parent it was/is my job to nurture those, providing and encouraging many educational, social, and cultural opportunities.

The trick is to identify, recognize, and enable someone else's muse/calling, even if it isn't music.

Help facillitate a healthy, strong path, and be amazed at the results that benefit a child, the family and the world.

 

[MotorCityMinion]

I "want" my daughter to build on my knowledge and music experience (No braging here) and i "want" to give her a good start IF she want to play some music.

You're music experience may not transfer at all and could actually have the opposite effect and dissapoint both of you. With children, what you want has nothing to do with a 9 month old child's interest. When they get older it becomes more apparent. Best to let them develop on their own and appreciate the arts that they like. They let you know when their ready.

 

[matthewbrown]

Kids who grow up listening to a variety of different kinds of music benefit. Kids who perform music benefit. The benefits vary: cognitive development, social and emotional development, motor development. The key is to arrange for your child to have many different experiences of different types, in different contexts, with different styles and instruments. I introduced my kids to music in that way. Neither ever took up an instrument for long (drums, naturally!). But all ended up performing as singers and dancers, and all have a great love of music, dance and theater.

 

[Five or Six]

All you can do is have the options present or have an experience there for them to see and hear. As soon as the "force" or continuing urging begins, typically it may backfire and you lose what you have hoped for. Play around the child and see if there is any outward interest while doing so? If there is then, and only then, expose them to an instrument of "their" choice.

A good way to see if there is any musical interest as well is if they show some while at school. Most schools still have "band". See if that interest is brought to your attention by the child. Not vice versa. This is and never should be what you want them to do, it should be what they want to do.

 

[buldog5151bass]

You can't force them. Play music in the house - recorded and live, as you and your family enjoy it. Children are naturally curious. Although both my wife are musicians, my son stopped playing an instrument when he got braces. But he still loves listening, and this includes the music my wife started playing while he was in the womb.

 

[JC BASS 91]

My son, who is 24 now, always enjoyed watching me play as a youngster. He had some toy guitars that he would always 'jam' on when I was practicing. I started thinning my bass heard around when he was 6, one of the basses I had was a short scale SX Mustang copy. For his 7th birthday, I gave it to him. He would occasionally ask me to show him some things on it, and over the years I would occasionally hear him messing with it. He started playing trumpet in 6th grade. I would still hear him tinker with the bass every now and again (especially after I gifted him my old Laney 50-watt 1x12" combo amp). He came home at the end of 8th grade and announced that he was going to join the high school jazz band his freshman year. I thought as a trumpet player, but he corrected me and said, "No...I'm going to play bass!"

Let me tell you, as those high school years progressed, I watched him go from a meek kid with the volume turned way down to a total groove machine. He did so well, that as a Christmas/Birthday/Graduation gift as a senior, I told him I would either take him shopping for a good quality bass, or we could buy a Carvin kit (customized to his preferences) and do it together as a father/son project. He picked the father/son project. He used that for his spring semester of his senior year.

My daughter and youngest son both gave music a shot in 6th grade and walked away after that year. Neither of them has shown any real interest in music or even any real aptitude for it. I will say, though, that my daughter had a BEAUTIFUL singing voice, until...well...I won't go there. Suffice to say, she damaged her voice due to mental illness.

All this to say, just encourage your child(ren) and if they decide to do it, encourage them even more!!

Here is a picture of my son from his senior year with that bass we built together.

 

[HolmeBass]

I tried to expose my kids to music and playing at an early age. Had guitars, basses, drums, a piano all in the house. My dad has and still is a gigging musician (he just turned 80) and I caught the bug from him just by observing and attending many of his gigs as a kid.

But my kids just had no interest. My mother in law insisted we "needed" to make them take piano lessons. She had forced my wife to take them as a kid (that's where we inherited the piano) and she hated it. So we opted to not do that to our kids. If they were interested I would have bought whatever was needed to facilitate their interest but no dice.

They are all good artists, our daughters were dancers, so they chose their own outlets. And they've all become great people with their own lives. Ages 30/27/21 now.

Just my opinion, the kids have to WANT to play and you can't force them to enjoy it.

This is the way. Some folks never develop a creative outlet; perhaps they are more drawn to athletics. I think it's reasonable to show kids what is out there, but then you have to give them space and time to choose.

 

[BoogieZK]

You're music experience may not transfer at all and could actually have the opposite effect and dissapoint both of you. With children, what you want has nothing to do with a 9 month old child's interest. When they get older it becomes more apparent. Best to let them develop on their own and appreciate the arts that they like. They let you know when their ready.

I meant for the future, i'm not thinking about right now.
Of course she will choose whatever she want.

All you can do is have the options present or have an experience there for them to see and hear. As soon as the "force" or continuing urging begins, typically it may backfire and you lose what you have hoped for. Play around the child and see if there is any outward interest while doing so? If there is then, and only then, expose them to an instrument of "their" choice.

A good way to see if there is any musical interest as well is if they show some while at school. Most schools still have "band". See if that interest is brought to your attention by the child. Not vice versa. This is and never should be what you want them to do, it should be what they want to do.

You can't force them. Play music in the house - recorded and live, as you and your family enjoy it. Children are naturally curious. Although both my wife are musicians, my son stopped playing an instrument when he got braces. But he still loves listening, and this includes the music my wife started playing while he was in the womb.

Both of you suggest that it may backfire and that is exactly what i want to avoid.

Again, forcing anything is absolutely out of option and not my nature in any case.
The option will be given, in fact apart from music, i'm curious of many subjects and hobbies.

 

[Ketbass]

I was born of a sculptor and a painter. I gravitated to music. Mostly Jazz, world and folk/Americana. Only one in my family. My kids: 1 is an art professor the other is trying to make it professionally as a DJ/producer in NYC/Brooklyn. I always had music on in the house for no other reason than to scratch my own itch. Most of it drove (and drives) my wife crazy but she's learned to live with it. I think the kids just got the artistic genes; what they do with those genes is their business. I never have pushed any of it on them. I make art in my music not just "a player" in a band, as a composer and arranger. This is not a slight. I would never wish this curse on anyone, especially my kids, but they got the genetics, so I keep encouraging them with positive communication and love.

By the way, 38yrs old with a baby, you're still trying to figure it out! Why get the kid involved? Keep playing music in the house, hang real art on the walls, take them to the shows you love and it will unfold naturally for the child. I'm 61yrs old and it feels old. Don't say this on the DB side of TB. A lot of the folks there have real "old" experience. Good luck

 

[HueyFreeman]

Lead by example. Play music around them. Have fun with music around them. Children learn by mimicking their parents. This is the best you can do.
I've come realize that children are just adults in waiting. We can steer them in certain directions but ultimately their lives belong to them. We're just responsible to get them there alive, healthy, and hopefully well adjusted.
Fun is the key. They need to see you and others having fun. Hopefully, they'll join in on the fun.

 

[wiscoaster]

If you always have music going in your house it will become part of her nature. Just having it in her environment is not forcing it on her. Better to just have some good music on there going into her head whether she's paying attention or not than talk radio, TV or social media.

 

[Groove Doctor]

All the above.

Plus take them to see live music as often a possible. Try a variety of artists and instruments and styles. You CAN teach them to be appreciators of music, even if they never play an instrument seriously.

Ask them what they liked & didn't like about that performance. Hone in on what they enjoyed. You'll help them discover their favourites eventually.

Show them what you like to listen to AND ask them to show you what they like to listen to. You can open up a lifelong bond this way also.


PS.
My Mum is a singer & painter/artist and would take us to art galleries since young kids. She'd ask us "which one is your favourite?" Then ask why. Then she'd tell me her favourite and why. Often vastly different tastes, but we got to understand what the other one liked etc.

 

[WI Short Scaler]

Of course, that is my intentions to not force anything.
I understand and i'll be happy whatever she will do or like.
Thanks for the answer.

Now that we have that cleared up we need to discuss your definition of aging......

I'm hitting 60 in November.

 

[Five or Six]

I see sports as an equal gravity in school along with music. I think the most pressure comes on the sports side. I'm the only one in my family with any musical abilities. My brothers used to make fun of me until I started Touring 3 or 4 states with a top rated band. Then it wasn't a joke any longer. I was a jock in school. My dad hated me playing guitar once he found out. "All it leads to is long hair and drugs"! "No son of mine is going to play guitar"! "You will play sports just like your brother"! I did both. But, I had to sneak to play while I was learning. My point,,,that "no you aren't" made my desire to play quadruple. It backfired on my dad without his knowledge. He provided my playing catalist. I hated that sneak aspect because I had to lie to do it.

In 71 I was forced to quit guitar and go to bass. No show bass player at a gig forced me into it, I never left bass. Ive seen this a hundred of times:: To persuade or deny can have adverse effects on outcome. Support a child's desires, don't coerce one way or the other. Once a choice is made, support it, unless it's going down a wrong path.

 

[BGroovy]

Surround them with it (which I'm sure you will by default) feed their interests (whether it's music or otherwise). at young ages letting children lead and stoking the fires they start is a good path.

Our house is full of instruments. I picked up a uke bass and a sub short scale electric but neither of my young kids (8 and 3) have shown much interest other than the occasional "teach me something cool!"

There is always different types of music playing and being played in our house. They'll find their way to instruments when the time is right (or never). Ive asked both regularly if they're interested in lessons and it's been a no. I've never pushed.

they love watching music documentaries or live concerts with me though. There's plenty of music in their lives.