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The Well Guy
- Thread starter labgnat
- Start date
Or it could be that the well guy was just looking for an outhouse and found this ancient toilet for giants. So pulled his pants down and took a seat. He read the paper, all is well in Iraq, everyone is getting along, and that tomorrow is a good day for jupiter being inline with saturn which means that he's probably gonna knock out his two front teeth from tripping over his shoelaces. A blue jay flew by and landed on his shoulder and said "zippity-do-dah", his old girlfriend called him on his cellphone and asked him to come by and examine her new boobs. A squirrel went flying by his head. Obviously he picked up a ride from a buddy with a catapult. He grunted once or twice. Lifted a cheek to allow passage of a fart or two and contemplated the meaning of life. He thought about John Lennon. His mind drifted to a few pornos that he saw. Memories of chicks he dated and then suddenly it was time. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, someone didn't change the toilet paper! 
So there he was shuffling around with his pants around his ankles looking desperately for something to wipe with. He looked at the sports page. The Mighty Ducks won the Stanley cup so there was no way he could desecrate that news. When will that ever happen again? Then he spotted the squirrel. A cute little grey squirrel with a very bushy grey tail. Perfect. He chased after him in a slow-motion shuffle, being ever so careful to avoid the formation of dingleberries and when he was in range he pounced on said squirrel. Landed hard, but caught him. Lost his two front teeth in the process. Poor squirrel - first the catapult and now this. When finished the well guy felt rather satisfied. He pulled up his pants and looked back. The squirrel gave a hail mary and jumped into the well. He never heard the poor lil' fella hit bottom.
So there he was shuffling around with his pants around his ankles looking desperately for something to wipe with. He looked at the sports page. The Mighty Ducks won the Stanley cup so there was no way he could desecrate that news. When will that ever happen again? Then he spotted the squirrel. A cute little grey squirrel with a very bushy grey tail. Perfect. He chased after him in a slow-motion shuffle, being ever so careful to avoid the formation of dingleberries and when he was in range he pounced on said squirrel. Landed hard, but caught him. Lost his two front teeth in the process. Poor squirrel - first the catapult and now this. When finished the well guy felt rather satisfied. He pulled up his pants and looked back. The squirrel gave a hail mary and jumped into the well. He never heard the poor lil' fella hit bottom.
gosh, in life will i ever be considered normal?
I gave up on that a long time ago my friend. Just let it go. You'll be a lot happier in the end. There there. Just let it all out. Need a hankie?
hot marilyn monroe voice "monkey hot and lonely"I gave up on that a long time ago my friend. Just let it go. You'll be a lot happier in the end. There there. Just let it all out. Need a hankie?
or sweet elmo voice "mmm monkey hot and lonely"
whichever is more your style
gosh, in life will i ever be considered normal?
No such thing as normal, it's just a statistical mean, an abstract, unreal quantity. So, no, you're not normal.
Well this thread has definitely shown me how many people get banned when I'm not in OT. I can't leave you guys alone for 5 months, and look what you've gone and done!
