never heard of them. will check 'em out! cheers.
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the wife
- Thread starter sonic boogaloo
- Start date
1 no
2 no
3 no
4 no
5 no
6 no
7 no
8 somewhat important
9. She cheated and now im trying to get divorced lol
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
Very
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
No
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
I have made purchases without telling her on purpose, but I really don’t have to. She never cares when she finds out or when I do tell her.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
No, but she will comment occasionally.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
She does.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She isn’t.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Mostly, but not all.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
It’s not.
Very
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
No
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
I have made purchases without telling her on purpose, but I really don’t have to. She never cares when she finds out or when I do tell her.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
No, but she will comment occasionally.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
She does.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She isn’t.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Mostly, but not all.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
It’s not.
In my experience, wife can be very supportive. BUT it depends on how responsible houseband is. I am very responsible and when weekend comes, she is happy to see me leave for a gig.
I know about multiple marriages/relationships that fell apart when one person cared only about his music, and skipped on everything else.
I already talked here about having "marriage credits". You collect them during the week so you can spend them when weekend comes. Never go negative, that always costs a lot (your marriage).
I know about multiple marriages/relationships that fell apart when one person cared only about his music, and skipped on everything else.
I already talked here about having "marriage credits". You collect them during the week so you can spend them when weekend comes. Never go negative, that always costs a lot (your marriage).
thanks tho 
Thanks, I know my response was not specificaly what you had in mind with your OP, but I thought it's worth mentioning.
I don't have statistics, but my real life experience is that musicans are champions of broken mariages. That's weird, because music and performing is social construct.
What about you? What is your situation?
Are you just curious, or you have some problems in your relationship?
me and the missus are heavily into role-playing.
currently getting a lot of mileage out of the landlord/un-paying tenant scenario.
probably not for everyone, but it keeps our relationship fresh which is the most important thing.
to be honest. i'm always amazed to read how many wives gift their partners expensive basses.
i'm lucky to receive a pack of picks, although i did receive the jamerson book for Christmas.
maybe i need to trade my missus in for a more generous model?
That's funny, I was talking with some younger (in 30's) fellow musicians when one of them was complaining about the affairs in bedroom, and it turned out to be a wider problem when more of them joined the conversation. Then I was quoting a dialogue from an adult comedy movie, when a trucker comes home to his wife, and saying that works amazingly well as role-playing idea. They were laughing, saying it's cringe, but they got the idea. Humor is a remedy for soul.
Bassists, saving marriages since 1951!
Bassists, saving marriages since 1951!
1. Moderatly (as long as it doesn't harm the family plans).
2. Don't have to, but I usually do
3. Only once. I had received a very important sum of money from an insurance company and decided to spend 10% of that amount for gear, the rest for my family. I've managed that amount like black money.
4. No
5. Sometimes, not always
6. She sings with me in my vocal band, but not playing any instrument and not involved in my main (rock) band
7. Of course, how could I share my life with anybody who would not share my music taste?
8. Very important
She's the one who found my current main band (she knew the bandleader when he was looking for a bassist)
2. Don't have to, but I usually do
3. Only once. I had received a very important sum of money from an insurance company and decided to spend 10% of that amount for gear, the rest for my family. I've managed that amount like black money.
4. No
5. Sometimes, not always
6. She sings with me in my vocal band, but not playing any instrument and not involved in my main (rock) band
7. Of course, how could I share my life with anybody who would not share my music taste?
8. Very important
She's the one who found my current main band (she knew the bandleader when he was looking for a bassist)
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1. Very. When she moved in with me, I feared for my gear, which takes up some space that is clearly visible from both the living and dining area of my house, but she insisted I keep it there because she likes to look at it. She's also very supportive of me going to gigs and rehearsals, on occasion cancelling her own plans to make it happen.
2 & 3: No. I have set aside a 'fun fund', which I stock up with clever gear sales and gig money, and I don't discuss how much I spend on what, as long as I can afford it from said fund.
4. No, not really. Maybe on a rare occasion, when I'm torn between two lines.
5. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I don't need her to show up for gigs where I play music I know she does not enjoy.
6. Can play guitar and a little piano, plus is a decent singer. Never did really play in a band and only had 2 live shows.
7. My tastes include the harsher kinds of metal subgenres and some really weird electronic stuff, while hers include softer rock, but we have a wide selection of music we both can enjoy. On longer car trips, one of us drives and the other is the DJ.
8. For me, music is a personal thing. I can't see myself not playing - tried it for a while and ended up in a band again. I don't need a partner to share the same interest in music - but I need them to understand that this is a big slice of my live and of who I am, so they should at least respect and tolerate it.
They're great! Kinda like...well, I'm not really sure how to describe them. It's Walter of Gorilla Biscuits (really nice guy, incidentally) fronting a post-hardcore band. Kinda like Fugazi meets Tool (mostly because Walter's vocals kinda sound like Maynard.)
That's how I ended up on drums in my current main band! Guitar player/primary song-writer is an old friend of my wife's.
This is a really good idea.
I've been married twice, so I will answer your questions for both of them.
There are MANY reasons my first wife is now an ex-wife, and the answers to these questions are only a minor contributor. We were married for 7 years before I filed for divorce.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? She wasn't. She saw it as a hobby that kept me from doing things at home.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? New gear? Yeah. She was one of those "what are you selling to buy that?" types.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? Not per se, but any gift money I received for birthdays or holidays was my only source to buy new gear.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Not even remotely.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? She came to one show, but only because family was in town.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? She played clarinet in high school.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? There was some overlap, but not really.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? It was very important, but she wasn't exactly true wife material and therefore wasn't very supportive.
Now for my current wife, who I have been with since 2010. My wife is truly amazing. We both support each other fully in any endeavor.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? Amazingly so. If you ask her, she will make it sound like I'm a famous, touring musician that she adores and would follow anywhere.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? Not really. If I want gear, I buy it. She might catch me looking at something and will ask me what it is and has been heard asking, "Is that your next bass?" or telling me "Buy it!"
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? Nope. I have a decent amount of discretionary income and everything I earn from my music goes back into my music.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Not really. She's supportive of my music, but as she really isn't a bass player (even though she is slowly learning), she doesn't really offer up her thoughts.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? She's at every show. There were a couple of scheduled shows last year that she had conflicts and wasn't going to be able to be there...she pouted! Those gigs got cancelled, which made her happy that she wasn't going to miss a show or two. She loves watching me play. I LOVE having her there! It's like having a 100% loyal groupie that follows me from show to show. LOL
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? She played flute in high school. She's learning bass...slowly.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? There is a lot of overlap in our musical tastes. She does enjoy country, which for the most part makes my skin crawl. But, she will listen to some seriously heavy stuff as well as classics and classical just like I do.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Very. Music is very important to me, both listening to it and playing it, and fortunately, she feels the same way.
My wife is just a downright amazing person. I often refer to her as my "Gift from God". For me, she has always checked all the boxes for what I wanted in a wife. We are a match made in heaven and even after all these years, we have people tell us that we make them sick or to "get a room". But, our children? All three kids point at us and tell people, "If I can't have what they have, I don't want it."
Now for some show and tell...
This is what I see when I look out from the stage when playing:
She wants to learn so she can better understand my love and passion for it:
I'm blessed...that's all there is to it.
There are MANY reasons my first wife is now an ex-wife, and the answers to these questions are only a minor contributor. We were married for 7 years before I filed for divorce.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? She wasn't. She saw it as a hobby that kept me from doing things at home.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? New gear? Yeah. She was one of those "what are you selling to buy that?" types.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? Not per se, but any gift money I received for birthdays or holidays was my only source to buy new gear.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Not even remotely.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? She came to one show, but only because family was in town.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? She played clarinet in high school.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? There was some overlap, but not really.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? It was very important, but she wasn't exactly true wife material and therefore wasn't very supportive.
Now for my current wife, who I have been with since 2010. My wife is truly amazing. We both support each other fully in any endeavor.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? Amazingly so. If you ask her, she will make it sound like I'm a famous, touring musician that she adores and would follow anywhere.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? Not really. If I want gear, I buy it. She might catch me looking at something and will ask me what it is and has been heard asking, "Is that your next bass?" or telling me "Buy it!"
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? Nope. I have a decent amount of discretionary income and everything I earn from my music goes back into my music.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Not really. She's supportive of my music, but as she really isn't a bass player (even though she is slowly learning), she doesn't really offer up her thoughts.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? She's at every show. There were a couple of scheduled shows last year that she had conflicts and wasn't going to be able to be there...she pouted! Those gigs got cancelled, which made her happy that she wasn't going to miss a show or two. She loves watching me play. I LOVE having her there! It's like having a 100% loyal groupie that follows me from show to show. LOL
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? She played flute in high school. She's learning bass...slowly.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? There is a lot of overlap in our musical tastes. She does enjoy country, which for the most part makes my skin crawl. But, she will listen to some seriously heavy stuff as well as classics and classical just like I do.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Very. Music is very important to me, both listening to it and playing it, and fortunately, she feels the same way.
My wife is just a downright amazing person. I often refer to her as my "Gift from God". For me, she has always checked all the boxes for what I wanted in a wife. We are a match made in heaven and even after all these years, we have people tell us that we make them sick or to "get a room". But, our children? All three kids point at us and tell people, "If I can't have what they have, I don't want it."
Now for some show and tell...
This is what I see when I look out from the stage when playing:
She wants to learn so she can better understand my love and passion for it:
I'm blessed...that's all there is to it.
you're a lucky fella for sure!
what a difference between her and your first.
thanks for sharing
D
Shes cool with me buying gear, have to run it by her. Anything else, not so much. She barely tolerates talking about music.
Even if we are not married, i call her my wife. (She has already been married and doesn't want it). 25 years we leave together, and we are still closer day after day. She's my life gift and mission.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
100% supportive
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
I don't have to get "through" her: we are an old fashion way couple: my money is her money and her money is my money. So by habits we are discussing what we buy. But she never blocked me to buy something. Perhaps it works well as i'm not a big Gasman. She's even not happy when i want to sell gear i don't use anymore. If it was her, i would still have all guitars and basses. But i'm not this guy: when i don't need it anymore i sell. Except for basses she bought me as gift for my forties and my fifties. Don't want her to kill me
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
Never.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
Nope. I like to hear what she think of it, but it's my boat.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Sometimes. When she's here, it's the cherry on cake. But i like the cake even if she isn't here.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She was. She has tried the bass years ago when i was guitarist. But she didn't touch it for years. I would love to have a duet with her, but she think she is not enough good to play an instrument; even if she has a very good natural ear.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Nope: i dig jazz and she doesn't. We met on other musics style as pop rock, or the afro/reggae/ska i play with my remaining band.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
Not really important: She has a her things on which i'm supportive too. And to me this is important because we carry different things to each other and that makes our history richer.
Thanks for this great topic !
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
100% supportive
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
I don't have to get "through" her: we are an old fashion way couple: my money is her money and her money is my money. So by habits we are discussing what we buy. But she never blocked me to buy something. Perhaps it works well as i'm not a big Gasman. She's even not happy when i want to sell gear i don't use anymore. If it was her, i would still have all guitars and basses. But i'm not this guy: when i don't need it anymore i sell. Except for basses she bought me as gift for my forties and my fifties. Don't want her to kill me
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
Never.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
Nope. I like to hear what she think of it, but it's my boat.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Sometimes. When she's here, it's the cherry on cake. But i like the cake even if she isn't here.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She was. She has tried the bass years ago when i was guitarist. But she didn't touch it for years. I would love to have a duet with her, but she think she is not enough good to play an instrument; even if she has a very good natural ear.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Nope: i dig jazz and she doesn't. We met on other musics style as pop rock, or the afro/reggae/ska i play with my remaining band.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
Not really important: She has a her things on which i'm supportive too. And to me this is important because we carry different things to each other and that makes our history richer.
Thanks for this great topic !
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thank you for replying to it!Thanks for this great topic !
it has proven less controversial than my 'ego' thread.
