the wife

[elillywv]

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
Extremely supportive. She says I work too hard at my jobs, and that playing restores my soul. She's right!
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
No. One time, just the opposite; scrolling through a website, paused to check out a Dakota Red Vintera 50s, and she walked by, and said "You don't have a red one!" I do now! lol
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
No. See #1
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
No. Although she's noticed the differences between a P, J, Mustang, and has commented more than once that the Squier Bronco sounds mellower than the others.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Yes, absolutely! See #1 again.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She's not.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Some overlap. She has found us a fair amount of new music from TV/streaming shows that we otherwise wouldn't have known.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
While we have different hobbies, it's nice to share a love of music!
(edit to adjust formatting)

 

[DWA2469]

thank you for replying to it!

it has proven less controversial than my 'ego' thread.

Which I DO NOT understand! You must have hit too close to home for some!

 

[bassdude51]

 

[sonic boogaloo]

hope i don't get labelled an 'egoist' for answering my own questions, but here goes:

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
very much so. it makes her happy that i have a hobby which keeps me occupied and active.

2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
no. we have our own disposable income. it's always been that way. we've argued about many things over the years, but money has never been one of 'em. we don't have kids, which makes this arrangement easy. i'm surprised that more couples don't do it.

3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
well, sometimes i'm not completely truthful about how much i've spent on gear. not sure why, as it really doesn't matter.

4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
yes. all the time! i value her opinion. she tells me if a bass line i come up with is not great and i appreciate the feedback. equally she boosts my confidence with praise.

5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
when i was gigging in bands during our early days of COURTSHIP she would attend every gig. i'm playing in a band again but we haven't gigged yet, but she will definitely be in the audience once we do.

6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
she plays guitar and used to transcribe gene clark (member of US band the byrds) songs in the early days of the internet. unfortunately arthritis has curtailed her playing.

7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
absolutely! that's how we met. we both love 60s british invasion and US garage punk music. she learnt english by listening to the beatles in her home country of Spain.

8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
essential! it's the one constant that has remained intact over the past 40 years or so...

 

[BadMonk]

1. Very.
2. No, but I think it polite to mention before or shortly after the acquisition(s)
3. No, that would be dishonest for how we handle our money
4. Yes, because everything sounds good to her. So I believe she is tone deaf and has rhythm issues. LOL.
5. N/A.
6. No, but she says she always has a song in her head.
7. Yes, for the most part.
8. If there was no interest on her part, I would not play as much as I do.

 

[Pimpernel Smith]

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" is generally know as "Herself"

 

[Plectrum72]

or partner, whatever term suits you best. referred to as 'they' 'their; and 'them' here, but no offence meant if you prefer alternative/more relevant pronouns.

some questions, HONEST answers would be appreciated:

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?

thank you.

please feel free to add and answer any additional questions....

1. Either very supportive or indifferent depending on the timing and circumstances
2. No, I have a "slush fund" account where I deposit the money I used to spend on cigarettes. At worst, wifey rolls her eyes when I buy the "last pedal I will ever need."
3. Again, no. I have my slush fund.
4. Occasionally when it comes to trying to cop a cetain sound for a cover. She lets me know if I'm in the ballpark or would be better served just playing it clean.
5. Yes, but mostly because she's been kind enough to seriously learn how to run sound for the band so we don't have to try to run it from stage and keep walking out front. She enjoys making us sound as best we can (GIGO) and will let anyone know when they need to turn the $&#! down because stage volume is competing with the PA (smaller venues). Certain songs that never seem to leave the rotation she'll tweak and walk away (bathroom, food, drink) because she's tired of hearing them.
6. Yes, everything woodwind--specifically, double reed instruments. She's a far more educated musician than I am.
7. We both like a variety of styles of music (good music is good music regardless of genre), but I would describe our preferred tastes as overlapping with individual outliers.
8. I could never be with a person who doesn't at least enjoy listening to music even if they are not a musician. Fortunately for me we both love going to concerts (instead of traditional vacations) and listening to music.

 

[sonic boogaloo]

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" is generally know as "Herself"

good one.

i was quite careful with the wording in my opening post as i was aware that i had caused some upset on my 'ego' thread. once bitten twice shy.

ball and chain is another one used in the UK.

'little lady' normally results in a swift kick in the goolies.

 

[Pacman]

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?

100%. Not only does she know I love it, it also keeps her fed.

2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?

Of course not, but I'll often discuss major purchases with her.

3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?

That would be inherently dishonest, and I wouldn't treat the person I love the most that way.

4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?

I do, but she's not musically trained, so I keep my questions more about things she notices.

5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?

She often does, but can't make it to all of them (there are a lot)

6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?

No, but we were given a grand piano, so she's learning. (more for the mental exercise than to someday gig)

7. do they share the same music tastes as you?

No, but we listen to each other's music regularly

8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?

Not important at all, but her support is key. Every gig where she's in attendance is a much better gig.

 

[Solipsistik]

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?

Loves that I play. Occasionally feels like I'm gone too often for rehearsals and gigs.

2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?

Nope. We keep most of our funds separate, it keeps everyone happier that way. My second time around, but that part worked. This will likely change with my pending retirement, however there's nothing I will need in terms of gear. I'm well situated.

3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?

We don't talk about Fight Club.

4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?

Sometimes, sure.

5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?

They do when it fits into life schedules and the like.

6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?

No, but she keeps asking me about playing guitar. I think I'll get her (*cough*) an acoustic and let her see if it works for her.

7. do they share the same music tastes as you?

She doesn't like a lot of my music. We get along when we're together that way, I don't mind listening to most of what she does like (but compared to my tastes it's very limited). She likes almost everything my bands do.

8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?

Moderate but meaningful.

 

[sonic boogaloo]

100%. Not only does she know I love it, it also keeps her fed.

quite rare in this day and age to have a partner who earns enough to support themselves and their other half.

 

[MtManiac]

or partner, whatever term suits you best. referred to as 'they' 'their; and 'them' here, but no offence meant if you prefer alternative/more relevant pronouns.

some questions, HONEST answers would be appreciated:

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?

thank you.

please feel free to add and answer any additional questions....

1. Very supportive
2. She’s encouraged me on occasion to splurge. I had one black bass, I saw a sunburst one that was a great deal, but I didn’t *need* a second bass. She argued that it’s like shoes, maybe you need a black pair and a brown pair. She also loved the Dark Night P that I showed her and ended up buying at her encouragement. I now own 7 or so basses, down from 15 or so, all bought used, and she’s seen how I can make or at least recoup money if/when I sell ones I’ve bought used, so she’s very supportive of it.
3. Only in my first marriage.
4. No, but band politics yes
5. Yes if they’re close, not too late, and she has a gang to go with
6. Not even close, but she loves music. She is much more aware of bass now, and loves the way that’s expanded the enjoyment of music for her.
7. More or less. I’m not a reggaeton fan, and she’s not a Steely Dan fan, otherwise copacetic
8. Probably a 7 out of 10. Though if someone hated music or was just completely indifferent, I don’t think I could get along with them enough to start a relationship though. It’s a big part of my life and has been for 40+ years. Having said that, I’m also glad she’s not a better musician than me, I like that it’s “my thing”. She has her things and I support her much the same way. Not that it’s transactional, it’s just the way of our relationship - if we didn’t embrace each other along with each other’s interests, I’m not sure there’d be much basis for a life partnership.

 

[sonic boogaloo]

I’m not a reggaeton fan

me neither. it's MASSIVE in Spain.

we've just had a big festival here and it was blaring out everywhere.

 

[tlgvintage]

or partner, whatever term suits you best. referred to as 'they' 'their; and 'them' here, but no offence meant if you prefer alternative/more relevant pronouns.

some questions, HONEST answers would be appreciated:

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?

thank you.

please feel free to add and answer any additional questions....

1. Very
2. No, but I do so out of respect
3. No
4. No, but she will give me performance notes
5. She does, she’s been on the road with us
6. Singer and songwriter. Started playing in her band after we got married
7. A lot of overlap, but not entirely
8. It was a big selling point!

 

[sonic boogaloo]

She does, she’s been on the road with us

how did that go down with the rest of the band?

hope it didn't result in any 'spinal tap' moments

 

[Danny O Danny]

I'm fortunate in that my wife is also a musician (piano, keyboards). She is a better musician than I am.

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? - Extremely. We have been performing together for nearly 40 years, but I also do my own musical projects.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? - No, but I do keep her in the loop, out of courtesy. I have been able to fund my own GAS over the years via buying and selling instruments. But we have also bought keyboards for her and equipment that we use together (such as PA).
3. have you ever had to resort to a black money op'? No, but I have my own stash of "mad money" from buying and selling instruments and she knows about that.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Definitely. She has a very good ear and good musical instincts.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? Of course if we're playing together in a project she's there as one of the musicians. But if I'm doing something without her with another band, or jam session, or doing a solo singer/songwriter gig she's more likely to stay home, which I fully understand. Playing out is more important to me than it is to her and she understands that and encourages me to go play.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? Yes. Piano, keyboards, vocals, songwriter.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Partially. She comes from a classical background. I come from a rock background. We met while playing together in a prog rock band (classical + rock). But I have much more eclectic tastes than her (from punk to traditional jazz to metal to reggae to Americana/folk). Where our tastes overlap is classic "soft" rock (Fleetwood Mac, Moody Blues, Sarah McLachlan, etc.)
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Making music together has been a central and enduring component of our relationship from the very beginning.

 

[DirtDog]

1. Neutral
2-8. No

Works for us!

 

[JoeyFab]

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?

1. My wife is VERY supportive. She has NEVER interfered or questioned anything about my practicing, rehearsals, gigs, or equipment. In fact, she refuses to let me sell any of my bass guitars when I get the urge to try something different, rightly claiming that I will only be sorry later.
2. Lately I have been selling equipment to finance new gear purchases (but NOT selling any of my bass guitars, as stated above). I keep her in the loop on what I'm considering obtaining, but since I'm working with already spent money, it's never a problem with her.
3. I suppose I'm currently in "black money" mode in a way, but she's fully aware of it all.
4. I do not, but she is ALWAYS complimentary about my playing!
5. She used to, but after a while she would drive herself to the gigs so that she wouldn't have to be there during set-up and tear-down. Then she just started coming for the first set. By now she has paid her dues and doesn't attend them anymore; it's WAY past her bedtime!
6. No, she is not a musician. However, she has MANY other hobbies that keep her busy and entertianed.
7. Our music tastes are somewhat similiar, but I think, like most heterosexual couples, she prefers more of a dance vibe, and I prefer more of a rockin' vibe.
8. It's not very important. She absolutely LOVES books and movies, and I rarely read books, and am rather indifferent to movies. Still, we get along just fine.

 

[KenSmithFan]

i was nodding in a SAGE-LIKE manner until you brought up Poison.

Oops

 

[jerry]

I'm fortunate in that my wife is also a musician (piano, keyboards). She is a better musician than I am.

1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? - Extremely. We have been performing together for nearly 40 years, but I also do my own musical projects.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? - No, but I do keep her in the loop, out of courtesy. I have been able to fund my own GAS over the years via buying and selling instruments. But we have also bought keyboards for her and equipment that we use together (such as PA).
3. have you ever had to resort to a black money op'? No, but I have my own stash of "mad money" from buying and selling instruments and she knows about that.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Definitely. She has a very good ear and good musical instincts.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? Of course if we're playing together in a project she's there as one of the musicians. But if I'm doing something without her with another band, or jam session, or doing a solo singer/songwriter gig she's more likely to stay home, which I fully understand. Playing out is more important to me than it is to her and she understands that and encourages me to go play.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? Yes. Piano, keyboards, vocals, songwriter.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Partially. She comes from a classical background. I come from a rock background. We met while playing together in a prog rock band (classical + rock). But I have much more eclectic tastes than her (from punk to traditional jazz to metal to reggae to Americana/folk). Where our tastes overlap is classic "soft" rock (Fleetwood Mac, Moody Blues, Sarah McLachlan, etc.)
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Making music together has been a central and enduring component of our relationship from the very beginning.
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Those two pictures are awesome!