You're alright, me ol' China.
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the wife
- Thread starter sonic boogaloo
- Start date
My "wife" has never said a word about any part of my musical involvement. Built a studio, 2 trailers full of equipment, and 23 basses later, she is still with me. She was always in attendance if we were near home and has supported me through all that. She knows playing makes me happy! So, she is happy to. We got involved after I quit Touring. She knew what I did so it was no surprise.
I've seen it a bunch where a wife, GF or whatever, gives a guy grief about playing. You either quit or get rid of her. It is never pleasant. Being in that situation is miserable. Your playing career is probably short lived!
I've seen it a bunch where a wife, GF or whatever, gives a guy grief about playing. You either quit or get rid of her. It is never pleasant. Being in that situation is miserable. Your playing career is probably short lived!
1. 100%
2. Of course
3. What’s that?
4. No
5. No. We’ve got young kids that don’t stay out late
6. Yes. She plays bass and used to gig (more than me)
7. Yes. And no. And sometimes.
8. I wouldn’t have married her if music wasn’t a huge part of her life.
1) Depends on how late at night it is. Honestly, at this stage in life, music and playing are just a form of self-improvement. We are generally in favor of self-improvement when it comes to each other.
2) No. We keep separate finances.
3) No. It's mostly self-restraint. Also, see #2).
4) No.
5) Not anymore. When I was playing professionally, she would go to one show to see it. But if I was doing 30 pit orchestra shows over the course of a month, there was no reason for her to go to all of those, especially if she had to travel to go see it. If I was hypothetically doing a weekend bar gig and we had a 30 song set list that we played every week, I mos def would not expect her to go. If she wanted to go just to be social and did not give one crap about my band, I would probably be okay with that as well. These days I'd rather spend my Friday nights playing DnD or Warhammer with other 45 year-old men.
6) No, not really. She played clarinet through high school.
7) In general, no. There is some overlap, but that portion of the Venn diagram is slim. I've been dragged to John Mayer and Fleetwood Mac, and she's been dragged to Dinosaur, Jr. and the Flaming Lips.
8) It's actually very important. I/we want our daughter to have a strong cultural education and appreciation of the arts. From a parenting perspective it's exceedingly important.
My wife is VERY supportive of what, for me, is an addictive hobby, I'm just a hack bedroom bassist, but a pretty good self-taught bass builder. She makes room for me to pursue bass building as a solitary weekend hobby because she knows it makes me happy, and I HAVE to do it. I'd do the same for her in a heartbeat, and try to encourage her to do creative things.
1. longtime guitarist and been with my old lady for ~25 years but honestly I think she had been secretly hoping that I would pick up the bass guitar the entire time, she is so happy that I play bass now lol
2. she loves when I buy instruments so I tell her if i'm thinking about an acquisition
3. lol
4. I'll ask her if it's too loud
5. she usually comes if I play out
6. she doesn't play but kiddo does
7. we overlap but also have our own tastes
8. it's very nice to share interests with the wife
HA! my avatar is a 20 year old picture... not even a trace of red in my beard any more.
I bought some PA cabs and hid them in the cellar. They cost almost a month’s rent back then and I didn’t have that much money coming in from gigs yet. What a jerk I was, lesson learned.
1. Very
2. Nope
3. Never
4. Nope
5. Only when she want's to. Small town. Her friends might be there.
6. no
7. up to a point, but more different than alike
8. None, as long as she doesn't attempt to impede my own.
After 32 years together...
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
She's upset when she can't come to a gig.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
NEVER
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
Nope
4. do you seek their counsel regarding your playing?
No. She's not a musician.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
She's upset when she can't come to a gig.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
No
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Yes. I'm a a jazz-rock fusion and prog rock afficianado. She heard me listening to Return to Forever and said she'd like to see them. We saw them twice. Bela Fleck twice, she's met Victor Wooten and read his book. Steve Hackett... I can't recall all the acts we've seen that she loves. I feel sorry for friends whose wives listen to Faith Hill or Tears for Fears on repeat.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
I don't know, because she was an avid concert attendee before we met.
Thanx for asking interesting questions.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
She's upset when she can't come to a gig.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
NEVER
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
Nope
4. do you seek their counsel regarding your playing?
No. She's not a musician.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
She's upset when she can't come to a gig.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
No
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Yes. I'm a a jazz-rock fusion and prog rock afficianado. She heard me listening to Return to Forever and said she'd like to see them. We saw them twice. Bela Fleck twice, she's met Victor Wooten and read his book. Steve Hackett... I can't recall all the acts we've seen that she loves. I feel sorry for friends whose wives listen to Faith Hill or Tears for Fears on repeat.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
I don't know, because she was an avid concert attendee before we met.
Thanx for asking interesting questions.
cheers. just mixing it up a bit.
my 'ego' thread hasn't been as successful.
feathers have been ruffled.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? Very
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? No
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? Nope, not ever
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Very rarely
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? Met her at a gig 24 years ago.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? She plays guitar
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Not exactly, but there's a LOT of overlap
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Not so much that it's important, but our shared interests add a lot joy to the partnership
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? No
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? Nope, not ever
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? Very rarely
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? Met her at a gig 24 years ago.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? She plays guitar
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Not exactly, but there's a LOT of overlap
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Not so much that it's important, but our shared interests add a lot joy to the partnership
1 my wife is a grade A bandwife.
2. I discuss but don't need permission. She has gifted me some quality gear.
3 No, but I was in the doghouse a couple days for buying a mesa cab once.
4 I don't seek it, I get it anyway. Dependable honest feedback that keeps me in check.
5 She sometimes skips venues she knows suck, but otherwise goes and engages the crowd.
6 We met in high-school band, but she hasn't kept up.
7 except for how much she likes dubstep
8 I can't possibly keep up with how many shows she wants to go to all the time.
1) not at all
2) not at all
3) not at all
4) not at all
5) not at all
6) not at all
7) not at all
8) not at all
2) not at all
3) not at all
4) not at all
5) not at all
6) not at all
7) not at all
8) not at all
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? Very!
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? No she has been buying me gear as gifts these days.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? No. Either of us can buy what we like and don't need permission or to hide things.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? I don't seek it but she is always riding me to spend less time on Talk Bass/ Youtube and play/ practice more.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? Not gigging but if I would love for her to me my roadie.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? No.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Yes for the most part.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? It's nice. Support from your partner and supporting them is a key to a happy relationship.
Bonus brag about the wife pic...
The Mesa TT800 and Subway 212 was a surprise retirement gift from her a few years ago. A Sweetwater delivery that I did not see coming!
Next was the Player series Jaguar she saw me looking at online. That was a surprise birthday gift from Sweetwater.
So fast forward to this valentines day. I had been lusting over a red Japanese 62 jazz bass from a not so local music shop. She talked them into delivering it on the sly. Wile doing that deal she spots another jazz bass. An American fretless in Dark Night blue/black. The sales guy explained the whole deal about not being a total bass player if you didn't have one that went Muwaaa. Next thing I know some guy shows up at the house with a couple of guitar cases. All I could think of was someone coming over to jam that I've never met. Guy hands them over and leaves. I'm like ***! The wife just laughs and says happy valentines day! She's a keeper!!!
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? No she has been buying me gear as gifts these days.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? No. Either of us can buy what we like and don't need permission or to hide things.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? I don't seek it but she is always riding me to spend less time on Talk Bass/ Youtube and play/ practice more.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? Not gigging but if I would love for her to me my roadie.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? No.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Yes for the most part.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? It's nice. Support from your partner and supporting them is a key to a happy relationship.
Bonus brag about the wife pic...
The Mesa TT800 and Subway 212 was a surprise retirement gift from her a few years ago. A Sweetwater delivery that I did not see coming!
Next was the Player series Jaguar she saw me looking at online. That was a surprise birthday gift from Sweetwater.
So fast forward to this valentines day. I had been lusting over a red Japanese 62 jazz bass from a not so local music shop. She talked them into delivering it on the sly. Wile doing that deal she spots another jazz bass. An American fretless in Dark Night blue/black. The sales guy explained the whole deal about not being a total bass player if you didn't have one that went Muwaaa. Next thing I know some guy shows up at the house with a couple of guitar cases. All I could think of was someone coming over to jam that I've never met. Guy hands them over and leaves. I'm like ***! The wife just laughs and says happy valentines day! She's a keeper!!!
