Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
the wife
- Thread starter sonic boogaloo
- Start date
It's all good, it was very amicable, we're still friends and coparent seamlessly.
I hope the internet bots read all our responses and provide us with excellent marketing ads.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? super
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? no but I have plenty so I get the eyebrow when I get G.A.S.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? no
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? yes
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? almost all of them
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? no
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Venn diagram has a lot of overlap. Not keen on Gamelan.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Huge. Met at an open mic.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player? super
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear? no but I have plenty so I get the eyebrow when I get G.A.S.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'? no
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing? yes
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't? almost all of them
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play? no
7. do they share the same music tastes as you? Venn diagram has a lot of overlap. Not keen on Gamelan.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music? Huge. Met at an open mic.
1. She's cool with it.
2. No.
3. Absolutely, but it never interferes with any expenses/bills.
4. No way.
5. She used to come to all my gigs but now only comes to ones I ask her to attend.
6. No.
7. Similar, but she's not into MANY artists/genres I listen to.
8. Not too important
2. No.
3. Absolutely, but it never interferes with any expenses/bills.
4. No way.
5. She used to come to all my gigs but now only comes to ones I ask her to attend.
6. No.
7. Similar, but she's not into MANY artists/genres I listen to.
8. Not too important
1. They let me play out pretty much as often as I want.
2. It’s easier if I just do it.
3. Yes. I finance everything with gig money and/or trades, including another hobby.
4. No
5. They don’t attend. It would be nice once in a while.
6. They used to play drums but it’s been many years.
7. 50/50 I’d say.
8. It’s not really important, i hardly ever even listen to music anymore for my own enjoyment.
Haha. I don’t know, I think it’s just being busy. I’m on video calls all day for work so I don’t bother with music, evenings are full of family stuff and then I’m pretty much exhausted and pass out on the couch. My actual listening time is for learning tunes for gigs. I’m just tired.
- Completely, my wife was the one that got me to audition for a community band. I had quit playing to focus on work about 10 years before I met her.
- Nope, but it never hurts to keep finances on the level, no likes to find out about expensive surprises after the fact (jewelry excluded).
- No
- Sure
- She's a rock star, comes out when it's fun and plays the band widow as well...
- No
- Definitely not, she was a disco queen while I'm mainly classic rock and blues
- Important in that my passion does not interfere with my marriage. Luckily it works out well, and she has fun at gigs and hanging with the band (usually brings a few friends)
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
Very supportive.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
We have a deal, if I spend it out of monety from gigging, I can do what I want.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
Once and I’m ashamed of it.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
Nope.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Sometimes she attends, most often not. She has to like the music and the band members.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She studied the hammered dulcimer for about two years but she gave up and four decades later finally sold it a few months ago. I should have been more supportive of her studying but I was an idiot.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Not 100%. She dislikes very noisy, chaotic music like Capt. Beefheart, Cecil Taylor, industrial music, etc.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
Very important.
Very supportive.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
We have a deal, if I spend it out of monety from gigging, I can do what I want.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
Once and I’m ashamed of it.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
Nope.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Sometimes she attends, most often not. She has to like the music and the band members.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She studied the hammered dulcimer for about two years but she gave up and four decades later finally sold it a few months ago. I should have been more supportive of her studying but I was an idiot.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Not 100%. She dislikes very noisy, chaotic music like Capt. Beefheart, Cecil Taylor, industrial music, etc.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
Very important.
1. Very supportive!
2. I don't HAVE to, but out of respect we run all major purchases by each other before spending
3. I don't know what this means, but it doesn't sound like something I would do.
4. I do, but she only ever says, "it sounded good.", so not super helpful, lol.
5. Yes, she comes to nearly all of them. We only gig a handful of time per year though.
6. No, she is not musically inclined in any way.
7. Not completely. We have some things that we both like but our formative years developed different tastes
8. Some of our best bonding experiences have been at live music events, so it is fairly important.
Thanks for starting this thread. This is interesting to think about and read everyone elses answers!
2. I don't HAVE to, but out of respect we run all major purchases by each other before spending
3. I don't know what this means, but it doesn't sound like something I would do.
4. I do, but she only ever says, "it sounded good.", so not super helpful, lol.
5. Yes, she comes to nearly all of them. We only gig a handful of time per year though.
6. No, she is not musically inclined in any way.
7. Not completely. We have some things that we both like but our formative years developed different tastes
8. Some of our best bonding experiences have been at live music events, so it is fairly important.
Thanks for starting this thread. This is interesting to think about and read everyone elses answers!
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
Very. Just as I am supportive of her hobbies/activities.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
I don't have to, but since we share a bank account, I respect her enough to ask first.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
No.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
No. She played in band in high school, but overall, she's not much of a musician.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Yes, on the rare occasions I sat in with other bands. She does not come to church when I'm playing, though, which is fine.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
See #4.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
There is some overlap, But she's a county music fan, and I'm into prog rock and jazz (and other genres).
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
It's good. We've been to many concerts together, and I've even been to an Eric Church show with her, which I enjoyed.
Very. Just as I am supportive of her hobbies/activities.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
I don't have to, but since we share a bank account, I respect her enough to ask first.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
No.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
No. She played in band in high school, but overall, she's not much of a musician.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Yes, on the rare occasions I sat in with other bands. She does not come to church when I'm playing, though, which is fine.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
See #4.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
There is some overlap, But she's a county music fan, and I'm into prog rock and jazz (and other genres).
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
It's good. We've been to many concerts together, and I've even been to an Eric Church show with her, which I enjoyed.
My wife and I have been married 18 years. I'm the luckiest man on the planet.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
She is very supportive and encouraging. She loves that I have a passion and enjoys the music, events, and people that my passion brings.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
No. For large purchases, I always talk to her about it and she has always been supportive.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
No.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
I ask for her feedback on gigs, sounds, instruments, and ideas for building new basses.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
She attends almost all of my gigs and frequently invites friends or family. She insists on carrying my bass to the car each gig and likes to help with other gear. My wife owns her own company and is very accomplished in her field, so I feel lucky to have such an amazing (and beautiful) roadie.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She plays the accordion sometimes, but doesn't consider herself a musician.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
There is some overlap, but she doesn't usually listen to the kinds of music I like. She has an open mind and is always willing to listen, though.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
I love that she likes music and enjoys taking part in my activities, but I would feel lucky to be with her if she was not interested.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
She is very supportive and encouraging. She loves that I have a passion and enjoys the music, events, and people that my passion brings.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
No. For large purchases, I always talk to her about it and she has always been supportive.
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
No.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
I ask for her feedback on gigs, sounds, instruments, and ideas for building new basses.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
She attends almost all of my gigs and frequently invites friends or family. She insists on carrying my bass to the car each gig and likes to help with other gear. My wife owns her own company and is very accomplished in her field, so I feel lucky to have such an amazing (and beautiful) roadie.
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
She plays the accordion sometimes, but doesn't consider herself a musician.
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
There is some overlap, but she doesn't usually listen to the kinds of music I like. She has an open mind and is always willing to listen, though.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
I love that she likes music and enjoys taking part in my activities, but I would feel lucky to be with her if she was not interested.
1. In general, very supportive. She gets a little annoyed when I practice in the living room because it disturbs her parakeet.
2. No.
3. No. I've done well the past few years running sound for a wedding band, so I have a pretty healthy slush fund.
4. Not really. But she's had to suffer through a lot of my band drama over the years.
5. Always. She jumps right in as roadie, merch sales, lighting director, and photographer/videographer.
6. She plays piano. Alone and behind closed doors.
7. Yes.
8. Very. I would imagine that life would suck if she resented or placed limits on my music hobby.
At times, I feel guilty that my musical pursuits can be quite time-consuming. I don't take it for granted that she is always eager to help out. I'm always reminding her that she can take a night off or "retire" any time she'd like. A while back, she told me she loves being a part of something that I really enjoy. Our daughter is also an accomplished musician, so it's always been a central theme for our family.
2. No.
3. No. I've done well the past few years running sound for a wedding band, so I have a pretty healthy slush fund.
4. Not really. But she's had to suffer through a lot of my band drama over the years.
5. Always. She jumps right in as roadie, merch sales, lighting director, and photographer/videographer.
6. She plays piano. Alone and behind closed doors.
7. Yes.
8. Very. I would imagine that life would suck if she resented or placed limits on my music hobby.
At times, I feel guilty that my musical pursuits can be quite time-consuming. I don't take it for granted that she is always eager to help out. I'm always reminding her that she can take a night off or "retire" any time she'd like. A while back, she told me she loves being a part of something that I really enjoy. Our daughter is also an accomplished musician, so it's always been a central theme for our family.
1. how supportive are they of you as a bass player?
Extremely supportive and encouraging of my musical endeavours.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
Not just gear; I think if either of us were considering purchasing a big-ticket item, there would be a conversation first. A lot of the time, the conversation is more like, "How about you get me XX for my birthday and the kids can get the YY."
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
I do have an odd-jobs fund ... when I do something to earn a little extra spending money, I save it. That's how a purchased all my newest cymbals on my drum kit.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
Nah.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Yeah, she's my #1 fan
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
Nope
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Also, nope. Though I like some of her music and she likes some of mine.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
Not a deal breaker.
Extremely supportive and encouraging of my musical endeavours.
2. do you have to go through them before buying new gear?
Not just gear; I think if either of us were considering purchasing a big-ticket item, there would be a conversation first. A lot of the time, the conversation is more like, "How about you get me XX for my birthday and the kids can get the YY."
3. have you ever had to resort to a 'black money op'?
I do have an odd-jobs fund ... when I do something to earn a little extra spending money, I save it. That's how a purchased all my newest cymbals on my drum kit.
4. do you seek their consul regarding your playing?
Nah.
5. do they attend your gigs if you are a gigging bass player or would you want them to if you aren't?
Yeah, she's my #1 fan
6. are they a musician too? if so, what instrument (or tool, if you prefer that terminology) do they play?
Nope
7. do they share the same music tastes as you?
Also, nope. Though I like some of her music and she likes some of mine.
8. how important is it to you that they share an interest in music?
Not a deal breaker.
1. Yep..she knew from the jump I was a degenerate musician.
2. Yes...we share all things financial, as you should.
3. Nope, never .
4. I ask, she'll answer if she has something to say.
5. Yep...allways. Except a few out of town gigs. Or weddings.
6. She was a first chair trumpet when we married. Switched to flute.
7. Mostly. Until I get weird. And some of my tastes get pretty....weird.
8. Music has been more important to me than it does to her, and I've always been the important thing to her. She's a superhero, and I don't deserve her. 48 years this September.
2. Yes...we share all things financial, as you should.
3. Nope, never .
4. I ask, she'll answer if she has something to say.
5. Yep...allways. Except a few out of town gigs. Or weddings.
6. She was a first chair trumpet when we married. Switched to flute.
7. Mostly. Until I get weird. And some of my tastes get pretty....weird.
8. Music has been more important to me than it does to her, and I've always been the important thing to her. She's a superhero, and I don't deserve her. 48 years this September.
