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Time to leave ?

#22
Despite wanting to say "just leave" I do think it's worth an attempt to talk to out. You should get a little extra for the trip to get the PA / set it up. Everyone should know ahead of time how much the BAND is getting, and how/why it's being divided up. No one can be asked to pay for something they didn't know of beforehand, etc. I don't think it MUST be a democracy, but if it won't be, the leader should act like a leader, not a dictator.
 
#24
Wow! A lot of what you guys say make sense , I guess my conflict is , I do have fun most shows and the pay right now helps me a lot , but yes I guess your right the constant BS I deal with is really not worth it ! The drummer ( BL ) and I have been friends forever but we have always had a love hate relationship and I have keep my distance from him for 20+ years and played music that I loved , but paid very little to nothing. He persuaded me for 2 years to do this project with him and I was reluctant but decided to go for it. Make no mistakes I'm not the perfect band member , I can be an ass at times and when members act like rock stars it drives me nuts and I get angry , but I guess the long and short of it is if I'm not happy then it's time to move on . I hate to think that I failed at this and will wonder what I could have done to change it , but I have talked about and tried to get the band behind me but when the singer and the BL have it made they are not going to want to change anything!
Thanks you responding and helping me out !
 
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#26
Doley50 said:
I hate to think that I failed at this and will wonder what I could have done to change it , but I have talked about and tried to get the band behind me but when the singer and the BL have it made they are not going to want to change anything!
Thanks you responding and helping me out !
Click to expand...

YOU didn't fail at this. You've been presented with an untenable, unworkable situation and have made a logical choice. Failure? I'd call it being smart.
 
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#30
The problem here as in life in general, is communication. It should never have got to this point. I ALWAYS speak up at the first sign of any of this kind of stuff happening. Nip it in the bud every time.
 
#31
An I9 Form is used for verifying the identity and employment authorization of individuals hired for employment in the United States. It has nothing to do with income or paying taxes. You probably meant a 1099 MISC which is a form used for reporting income paid to non-W2 workers.

In any event, the BL is screwing you and the other band members. LEAVE THE BAND NOW!
 
#36
Every band I've been in just divides up the cash at the end of the night. Every single one.

'Course, this isn't my "job". It's my hobby. I don't do taxes on it. I did for a few years but it was because when you consider ALL expenses, including miles driven to practices and gigs, I "lost" thosands per year. You can only do that for three years, I believe. So I did it for three years.
 
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#38
While it's fun to say "just leave," I think it makes more sense for the long-term to try to work it out first. Why? Because odds are, this WILL happen again in another band situation. It's happened to most of us at some point or another. So you should learn how to deal with the issue and hopefully resolve it if you enjoy the gig otherwise. It's a good exercise in conflict resolution and problem solving that you will likely need in future bands. Plus, it seems you're being taken advantage of and you should learn how to break that cycle by addressing the issues head-on before just leaving. In addition, some band members (here, the singer) honestly may think they're not doing anything wrong. That's the way they've always done it and nobody has taught them proper band edicit. Sometimes we think people know better, but they actually don't -- and it may be a wake-up call. In addition, bass players are not easy to replace, so your opinion may hold more weight than you realize in a full band meeting (the best way to do it). You can simply say, there are a number of things you like about the band including a, b, and c, but there are some issues that are outweighing the good parts including x, y, and z.

The end result may be the same...it may be time to move on from this group. But it doesn't mean you won't face similar issues in the future, so it's good to learn how to address them rather than just "walk" every time the balance of power and decision-making gets out-of-whack in a band.
 
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#39
^^^
This has some merit. You can present a reasoned argument for adopting a new set of protocols, but in the music biz as I know it the only way to really get someone to totally change his spots is to get him/her off the bottle (or other drug of choice), which I don't believe the OP mentioned as a problem. Otherwise, IME (only), once a heel, always a heel. Prepare for departure. That's the only way to demonstrate you mean business.
 
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#40
If you enjoy the material and the performance and the compensation is satisfactory you owe yourself the attempt to discuss and compromise. Bands can be emotionally frustrating. Any time you have anything as flaky as 4-5 musicians there will be challenges. Throw in a chick and the challenges can get tricky.

Do you best, stick to your guns and if all fails, Sayonara!
 

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