Under the bed!

[charles21o7]

I think "under the bed" good be some kinda code for Mike to signify "Outta the closet" . Therefore , this box of wonders, might as well be his , and hes trying to tell us all something. What it could be I havent a clue..........

 

[Matthew Bryson]

Mike - You've inspired this song parody that I just threw together. Mods - feel free to delete this if you find it to be in poor taste - I don't think that it's any worse than what's already posted in this thread. So, here goes...



Under The Bed

(To the tune of "Under the Bridge")


Sometimes I'm horny
when I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
like my girlfriend
Is the girls on movies
The girls of porno
Lonely as I am
Together we wank

I lock all the doors
'cause I don't want you to catch me
I turn my stereo on so…
You can't hear my sounds
I've found a new porn, now
It's time for a viewing
I'm never horny
Now, that is a lie

I don't ever wanna see
Any bondage or gay
Give me strait up lesbian porn
I'll watch it any day
I don't ever wanna see
Any bondage or gay
Give me strait up lesbian porn
I'll watch it any day-ay (yeah yeah)

It's hard to believe
There's girls like that out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have these girls
The girls of porno
Lonely as I am
Together we wank

I don't ever wanna see
Any bondage or gay
Give me strait up lesbian porn
I'll watch it any day
I don't ever wanna see
Any bondage or gay
Give me strait up lesbian porn
I'll watch it any day-ay (yeah yeah)
Love me - I do, yeah yeah
Love me - I do, yeah yeah

(one time)

Under the bed last night
That's where I found some porn
Under the bed last night
How come this one's still warm?
Under the bed last night
I found your porno bag
Under the bad last night
I took this one with me...
Uh huh, yeah - yeah
Love me, I do yeah yeah

 

[charles21o7]

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[Smokey]

Mr. Bryson, your grammy award is in the mail.

 

[Ba Gua Tiger]

HAHAHA, that was hilarious!


I would have something to add, but either I go go into detail and say things I am pretty sure arn't aloud, or I say something ambigous and give people the wrong idea.





Ambiguous enough
Certain people who I know I can trust I might tell.
That sounds bad, but it really isn't, honest.

 

[The Golden Boy]

or I say something ambigous and give people the wrong idea.





Ambiguous enough
Certain people who I know I can trust I might tell.

You're a crime fighter?
Invalid Link Removed

 

[Ba Gua Tiger]

No...very much no.

That was funny though.

 

[Frank Martin]

LOL!!!



Under the bed! have RHCP sing it, they've performed in tube socks so this shouldnt be that much worse

 

[Steph Dawe]

You're a crime fighter?
Invalid Link Removed

LOL!

In relation to the women & porn thing, I think it's the fact that a lot of porn movies are male orientated, ie, the males are dominating over the women (I wish I could explain that better ). Women (and I'm talking the majority, I dunno the figures, some women go for that stuff) won't watch that because, in my experience, the girls in the pornos look like they're in extreme amounts of pain. It doesn't look like they're enjoying themselves, and more often than not they look like they're being raped. Mind you, I dunno what being raped looks like, so who am I to say.

Women, if they're anything like me, will rather go for the kind of porn that is similar to romance novels, ie "he gently laid her on the bed, running his hands up and down her body, treating her like a goddess" etc etc etc; because a lot of women would rather be loved and caressed and whatever than just be used for sex. Ie, women love softcore opposed to hardcore stuff.

But, like I said before, that's just how I view it.








Please don't tell my mum I posted that.

 

[khay0s]

LOL!

In relation to the women & porn thing, I think it's the fact that a lot of porn movies are male orientated, ie, the males are dominating over the women (I wish I could explain that better ). Women (and I'm talking the majority, I dunno the figures, some women go for that stuff) won't watch that because, in my experience, the girls in the pornos look like they're in extreme amounts of pain. It doesn't look like they're enjoying themselves, and more often than not they look like they're being raped. Mind you, I dunno what being raped looks like, so who am I to say.

Women, if they're anything like me, will rather go for the kind of porn that is similar to romance novels, ie "he gently laid her on the bed, running his hands up and down her body, treating her like a goddess" etc etc etc; because a lot of women would rather be loved and caressed and whatever than just be used for sex. Ie, women love softcore opposed to hardcore stuff.

But, like I said before, that's just how I view it.

Please don't tell my mum I posted that.

I think personally that a lot of girls perceive porn to be like that without ever having seen it. Believing that all porn is like that is a defense mechanism so that girls have a valid excuse (valid to them anyway) not to watch.

Without sounding like some porn freak, I've seen enough to know that while there certainly is very degrading porn, some is just a couple (or more! ) people having sex. You're going to struggle to find 'loving' porn, although, there is plenty of homemade stuff floating around on the internet.

Oh, and your mum already knows.

Leigh

 

[Steph Dawe]

I think personally that a lot of girls perceive porn to be like that without ever having seen it. Believing that all porn is like that is a defense mechanism so that girls have a valid excuse (valid to them anyway) not to watch.

True. Some stuff is, though. I agree with you about it being an excuse (I use it too... ). I think when I wrote that post I was talking about the really hardcore stuff, ie Dped's and things like that. You know what I mean.... right?

Without sounding like some porn freak

Nah, don't worry about it. I pretend I'm an expert.

I've seen enough to know that while there certainly is very degrading porn, some is just a couple (or more! ) people having sex. You're going to struggle to find 'loving' porn, although, there is plenty of homemade stuff floating around on the internet.

True again. Like I said before, I was perhaps focusing a lot more on the harder stuff.

A lot of gay porn is "loving" focused, though...

Oh, and your mum already knows.

Probably. Knowing my luck.

 

[Leinad]

Everything I've read on TB has never made me actually "laugh out loud" (I will never use that abbreviated form as long as I live!). I did it 3 times in this thread. And it wasn't even at the intended purpose of this thread. Thank you Bruce, Brendan and Brad. Ooh, all "Br" names. Cool.

*spaced*

 

[khay0s]

You know what I mean.... right?

I think so...

Nah, don't worry about it. I pretend I'm an expert.

What do you mean pretend? I can hook you up if you need.

A lot of gay porn is "loving" focused, though...

I'll take your word for it. And how do you know? No, wait, don't answer that one...ok, do. But no details.

Probably. Knowing my luck.

Remember, your mother knows everything.

Leigh

 

[Smokey]

A lot of porn is girl on girl. That sounds pretty male-oriented to me.

 

[DEFELDUS]

ibtc

 

[Nick man]

IBTMCAKUA


(in before the martians come and kill us all)

 

[Mike Money]

From the cover of this porno, it looked like the school girl/cheer leader type stuff. Probably made for an interesting watch.

 

[Squidfinger]

Why does she need two? Hmmm...nevermind.

Leigh

 

[Ba Gua Tiger]

From the cover of this porno, it looked like the school girl/cheer leader type stuff. Probably made for an interesting watch.

If your not going to watch it, sen...

 

[Mike Money]

the bag disappeared when gabby went to look for it again... so i cant watch it.