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'undermining' keyboardists 'authority' what would you do in my position?

#21
Dana R Gregory said:
Sounds like they need to grow up. After all the bickering and finger pointing, why did they get back together in the first place? You don't need to waste time with a bunch of drama queens and divas. This is silly and life is too short. Time to say hasta la vista. :):cool::bassist:
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The singer wanted to restart the band but this time "be more serious" as our old rehearsals were merely practises for everyone bar me and the singer who would usually end up teaching the parts. Somewhere along the line the keyboardist became convinced it was her own idea to restart the band and it ended up this way. She has the support of the guitarist and by extension the drummer (they're best friends so always stand together -- guess its supposed to be admirable)

I'm definitely out. As I said previously I'm in no shortage of bands as a bassist(which I prefer) so I'm not so concerned.

But yeah definitely not worth my efforts,

Thanks for commenting and sharing your advice
 
#25
Pilfer the singer if he is good, they are hard to find. Guitarist just sounds strange. Sounds like the dummer was a spectator. And the other keyboardist? Fire her post-haste. Assuming you didn't color the comments too much due to your outrage and frustration, I would literally never have heard of someone being so consistently in the wrong without a criminal act.
 
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#28
kbakerde said:
Pilfer the singer if he is good, they are hard to find. Guitarist just sounds strange. Sounds like the dummer was a spectator. And the other keyboardist? Fire her post-haste. Assuming you didn't color the comments too much due to your outrage and frustration, I would literally never have heard of someone being so consistently in the wrong without a criminal act.
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Yeah I'm working with the singer on wednesday as we're starting our own project. She seems to be a bit upset as to which way things have turned out but I guess it doesn't help when everytime an opinion differs to the keyboardist (and guitarist), we get bombarded with stupid comments which I can't take any more but I guess she has more patience aha.

And I was laughing more because I found it just plain weird. I was angry of course but I just found it shocking how them getting their own gear could be percieved as a bad thing if they have the money and want to be "professional"

"Someone being so consistently wrong without a criminal act"

Aha that made me laugh a bit.

Thanks for your comment (and for the chuckle) :)
 
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#31
Wow. This sounds like such an awful situation. And the keyboard player sounds like a terrible person who clearly just intends to use you for whatever it is she deems necessary.

Think long and hard about which people in this project you'd like to work with in the future. And when you do, think about them as musicians as well as people. Do they work hard? Are they dependable? Do they show up on time, and are they prepared? These are just some basic things that you should keep in mind not only for this project, but ANY project. Life is too short to work with people who want to use you as blatantly as this keyboard player seems prepared to do.
 
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#34
Don't take this the wrong way as I don't mean to insult. You asked for advise, though, so...

Quit (sounds like you have)
If the average age of these people is around the 12-16 range, chalk it up to youth
If the average age is older than that, I would run from everyone involved that would stay in a conversation like that longer than 5 minutes.

Honestly, that stuff is pretty crazy. You are doing the right thing by leaving, IMO. I would not want to be around them as you described, though, no matter how talented they might be. Just my 2 cents
 
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#35
ShoeManiac said:
Wow. This sounds like such an awful situation. And the keyboard player sounds like a terrible person who clearly just intends to use you for whatever it is she deems necessary.

Think long and hard about which people in this project you'd like to work with in the future. And when you do, think about them as musicians as well as people. Do they work hard? Are they dependable? Do they show up on time, and are they prepared? These are just some basic things that you should keep in mind not only for this project, but ANY project. Life is too short to work with people who want to use you as blatantly as this keyboard player seems prepared to do.
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I do think that's what she wanted. And yes you're right, its pointless to just join a band because of feelings of sentiment. I was so blind to reforming that I didn't consider that they wouldn't change and it would be me and the singer sorting out gigs and rehearsals(more like practices tbh) as well as setting up during rehearsal while the others would just be eating or drinking just generally messing about.

The more I think about it, the more reasons not to have rejoined. Its the first band for a reason. But yes as you said I should definitely pay more thought towards the people who I work with in the future.

Thanks for your advice, it is appreciated :)
 
#36
Oddly said:
Obviously you've already made the right and only possible sane decision here in not proceeding with these people.
Frankly I'm amazed you lasted the whole conversation in the park.
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Aha thanks
In honesty if the singer who I want to continue working with wasn't there I most likely would've walked off the moment she suggested I supply all gear.

Thanks for commenting
 
#38
travep said:
Don't take this the wrong way as I don't mean to insult. You asked for advise, though, so...

Quit (sounds like you have)
If the average age of these people is around the 12-16 range, chalk it up to youth
If the average age is older than that, I would run from everyone involved that would stay in a conversation like that longer than 5 minutes.

Honestly, that stuff is pretty crazy. You are doing the right thing by leaving, IMO. I would not want to be around them as you described, though, no matter how talented they might be. Just my 2 cents
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I didn't sense any insult whatsoever. And the age thing is where it gets weird. Keyboardist is in her late teens and will be in her 20s soon. Eventhough she's the eldest (something she uses a lot to force her opinions), she's the most immature but the singer who is 16 is the most mature and musically knowledgeable. I'm not sure why this is the case but yeah.

Thanks for commenting and sharing your thoughts :)
 
#39
snarebear said:
Go to the nearest toy store and buy the cheapest kids musical toys and provide it to them at the first practice. They want to act like spoiled kids, treat them like it. Get a good laugh, tell them to piss off, and quit.
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I literally just burst out laughing ^.^
I'm quite tempted now actually but I think I would rather just get out and save some money in the process.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for laugh
 
#40
4stringNaeem said:
I do think that's what she wanted. And yes you're right, its pointless to just join a band because of feelings of sentiment. I was so blind to reforming that I didn't consider that they wouldn't change and it would be me and the singer sorting out gigs and rehearsals(more like practices tbh) as well as setting up during rehearsal while the others would just be eating or drinking just generally messing about.

The more I think about it, the more reasons not to have rejoined. Its the first band for a reason. But yes as you said I should definitely pay more thought towards the people who I work with in the future.

Thanks for your advice, it is appreciated :)
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Hope it works out for you. I think that MOST if not all of the people here on Talkbass have been in situations like your own. And it quickly becomes apparent that being in a band is about more than having a compatible musical vision, but finding people who can work together well. I would venture a guess that no matter who the keyboardist worked with, she would no doubt be a nightmare in any band.

Chalk this up as a learning experience. And if you have misgivings about a project based on the personnel involved? Trust your instincts. Because very often they'll serve you well to stay away from sketchy people.
 
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